Relationship and Marriage Coaching

20/03/2025

THE 3 BIGGEST MYTHS ABOUT MARRIAGE
Dump these myths today.

Myth #1: Marriage means a loss of freedom.
This is one of those cliché, negative ideas about marriage that just won’t go away. We often hear jokes about couples having to give up their wild and carefree adventures for boring weekend projects, completely change their spending habits, or accept having their spouse approve all their plans. It’s exacerbated by things like bachelor/bachelorette parties, and the idea that partners need one last hurrah before being “tied down” by marriage. The jokes are typically all in good fun and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with bachelor/bachelorette parties if that’s your thing. What is potentially detrimental is going into marriage with the mindset that you’re giving up something good for something less than. It might seem cool in some circles to harbor this negative perspective on marriage, but most happily married couples will tell you this is simply not true. Mindset matters!
While being married does mean you’ll largely make decisions and plans as a team, it doesn’t mean you’re going to lose all autonomy in some sort of marriage prison. Instead, you and your spouse can have a healthy, balanced relationship that allows you to flourish as individuals and as a couple. Sure, maybe you can’t live as spontaneously and off-the-cuff as you used too, but living out your commitment to each other adds depth and possibilities to your life that you would not experience otherwise.

Myth #2: If it’s meant to be, it should feel easy.
If your marriage was truly meant to be, it shouldn’t feel like a struggle, right? Uh, not so much. This is a common misconception – that if you fight a lot or have a lot of things to work through, it means your marriage is doomed. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. The strongest marriages are the ones in which spouses recognize their marriage is a constant work in progress. They work on themselves just as much as their ongoing issues as a couple. They don’t shy away from conflict or see it as a sign to start packing it in. Instead, it’s an opportunity to grow together and strengthen their connection.
The reality is that you will go through seasons that are just plain hard, where even simple, daily interactions feel like they could turn into a fight. Maybe it’s going through a relationship-straining experience, like becoming parents or weathering an unexpected crisis. Maybe you’re not communicating well and can’t get on the same page. Maybe complacency and resentment have taken root. It’s all normal, and it doesn’t mean you married the wrong person. The key is that you recognize it and take intentional steps to get back on course. Intention – and getting comfortable with facing issues head on, even when it’s easier in the moment to avoid them – will propel you through those challenging times and help you come out even stronger on the other side.

Myth #3: Your spouse should meet all your needs.
Once you’re married, all you need is each other. There’s something romantic about this idea, but it might just be a little too romantic. Yes, your spouse will likely be one of the most important people in your life, and they will (hopefully) work to fulfill a lot of your core needs. But in order to avoid an unbalanced, codependent relationship, it’s healthy for both of you to nurture external relationships with friends, family, coworker’s mentors, etc., as well as individual, hobbies and interests, and goals. This helps you both maintain your own sense of self within your marriage, instead of gradually merging into one person. A sense of oneness in marriage is important, but it needs to be balanced by a healthy level of separateness
One important thing to remember when it comes to this sense of balance is that it’s going to look different throughout the course of your marriage. As newlyweds, you’re establishing your identity as a married couple and probably focusing the majority of your energy and attention on each other as you start your life together. During this time, you might not spend as much time doing things separately – this is normal. During another phase, you might be busy building your career or parenting young children, and it may seem like other priorities are competing with your spouse – this is normal, too. The important thing is that you’re intentional about staying emotionally connected and keeping communication flowing through it all.

There are many preconceived notions you might have about marriage, and some are more realistic than others. As in many situations, it’s helpful to know what to actually expect, balancing optimism with realism. By scrapping these myths, you’ll have a better understanding of what really goes into a strong marriage – and the invaluable benefits you’ll reap as a result.

08/02/2025

7 Ideas to Bust Out of the Dinner Date Routine

You’ve got date night down to a science – that’s awesome! It means you’ve made prioritizing your relationship a regular and consistent part of your marriage, and that’s often easier said than done. But what if things are starting to feel a bit too routine? We can help! Here are seven easily-implementable ideas to bust out of the dinner date rut.

1. Do a project together.
It could be something small that you can finish in a night, or something ongoing that spans a couple of weeks or months. Think a small DIY or home improvement project, like building a piece of furniture or painting a room. Not only do these tasks tend to be easier with two people, but you’ll also attach meaning and memories to the project. You’ll be able to look at that piece of furniture and associate it with the quality time you spent together.

2. Go shopping.
Pick the type of shopping you enjoy, whether it’s window shopping, combing the racks at the thrift store, drooling over sweet treats at a bakery, or browsing a bookstore. You can treat yourselves or not even spend a dime. Either way, you’re bound to share some laughs and have some laidback fun.

3. Tackle an item on your to-do list.
If there’s a task you’ve been avoiding, get it done together. It will be more enjoyable by simply doing it with each other’s company instead of one of you having to complete it on your own. Run those errands that are spread out all across town, declutter the storage room, or detail the car. Even the most mundane of chores can be fun if it means hanging out with your spouse.

4. Break out the board games.
Board games are a great option because there are tons to choose from and you can still have great conversation while you’re playing. Plus, they’re portable, so you can bring them to the park, your favorite brewery, or a quiet coffee shop – whatever matches your mood.

5. Get moving together.
It’s always good to stay active, and it’s even better when it means quality time with your partner. Head to the gym or take a workout class together, go on a long walk or scenic hike, shoot some hoops, or hit up the skating rink. You’ll get the endorphins flowing through the physical activity and having fun together.

6. Switch up the timeframe.
If you still want to enjoy a meal together (who doesn’t?), try shifting to a different time of day. If you typically do dinner, opt for a breakfast or brunch date. Or try a mid-week lunch date to break up your busy workdays. You still get to connect over a shared meal, but with a different vibe than usual.

7. Act like a kid again.
Go bowling, hit up an arcade, race go carts, or take a trip to the amusement park. Maybe these used to be go-to activities when you were younger, but perhaps they’ve fallen off your radar in recent years. Bring them back! The mix of adrenaline, friendly competition, novelty, and youthful energy is the perfect combination for a fun-filled date.

Remember, what makes a date isn’t necessarily what you do, it’s the mindset you have while you’re doing it. When you’re mentally engaged in connecting and enjoying each other’s company, anything can be a date. So think outside the box!

The Relationship You've Always Wanted...
The Marriage You Deserve

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07/02/2025

Helping couples experience relationship transformation quickly and effectively

31/12/2024

HOPEFUL FOR DEEPER, LESS HURRIED, MORE MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS???

To aid you in your conversational endeavors, then, here are 15 conversation-starting questions to help get you and your loved one/s thinking about interesting, exciting, and meaningful things, while deepening your knowledge and love of each other.

15 QUESTIONS TO SPARK DEEP CONVERSATION
1. What is your most cherished childhood memory?
2. What achievement(s) in your life are you most proud of and why?
3. What’s a skill you have that not many people know about?
4. What is your personal motto?
5. If you wrote a memoir, what would it be titled?
6. Are you more like your father or your mother?
7. What’s the best part about your day-to-day life?
8. What’s something you’ve been waiting for, for a long time?
9. Who is or was, the most influential person in your life?
10. What are you looking forward to most in your life right now?
11. What do you do when things don’t turn out the way you planned?
12. What traditions in your family do you want to pass on to future generations and why?
13. Describe an opinion you used to hold but no longer do. What changed your mind?
14. Describe a time when the idea of doing something terrified you, but you did it anyway. Why did you do it?
15. Who’s the wisest person you know?

So many great conversations never happen. There is nothing like sharing insights with a life partner, a friend, and family members, about things that matter, and even things that don’t matter so much. But why is it so difficult?

Conversation—true, deep, meaningful conversation—is one of the greatest gifts we can experience in our human interactions, and yet such conversations are not all that common. Increasingly, they are shoved to the margins of life by our addiction to technology, our overfilled schedules, and our growing cultural anxiety and isolation. Fewer and fewer people understand the art of conversation, an art so intimately tied to our very humanity. For what is more profoundly human than thinking together with others about important matters?

In the days before television and other forms of modern entertainment, the primary form of human recreation was talking: talking about the past, future, and present, sharing wisdom between generations. I remember the days when neighbors, friends and family members didn’t need an invite but simply popped in to chat (often announced). Sitting around the dining table sharing a cup of tea, or a simple cool beverage was seen as natural, relaxing and engaging leisure. Connection with others was once relished as pure entertainment, but increasingly, that’s not the case anymore.

I believe we all yearn for that deeper human connection fostered through true conversation, but often we are too shy or uncertain about how to get things started. One of the biggest hurdles to deep conversation is knowing how to begin.

So above are just 15 simple questions to spark deep conversation, and once your conversation is rolling, it will often propel itself through its own momentum for several meaningful moments, even hours.

Happy New Year 2025

21/12/2024

A HELPFUL KEY TO AVOIDING THE POST-HOLIDAY FUNK
Individually, you probably know the feeling of finding that special thing that sparks your motivation. As a couple, that feeling can be even more powerful! Whether you’re setting a shared goal, getting realigned on priorities for the year ahead or re-establishing the vision you have for your family and marriage, knowing you’re working toward it together strengthens your bond and puts something positive on your horizon