09/06/2026
Men’s Mental Health Month, June*
This June, as we mark Men’s Mental Health Month, we need to break the silence on something we rarely talk about: men’s mental health.
Too often, the conversation stops at “man up” or “be strong.” But the data tells a harder story. Global studies show men are 3-4x more likely to die by su***de than women, yet they’re far less likely to seek help. In many communities, including our own, the pressure to be the “real man” is crushing. You’re expected to carry your family’s burden, your siblings’ struggles, and sometimes your entire extended family’s needs. On top of that, there’s the weight of being the “perfect” father and husband. No room for doubt. No space to fall apart.
*And then there’s achievement.* We’re taught it has to be fast and visible: own cars, build a house, land the better job, meet the ever-increasing expectations. But achievement is gradual, and it looks different for every man. Chasing someone else’s timeline is tearing too many of us down. Your pace is not failure.
For gay men, that pressure doubles. There’s the same expectation to provide, protect, and perform. But layered on top is the demand to conform, to hide, to be someone you’re not just to be accepted. That constant masking leads to anxiety, depression, and burnout. And the cost of “fitting in” can be devastating.
Some are even pushed into conversion practices/therapies as a condition for family or community acceptance. Research is clear: these practices don’t change orientation. What they do change is mental health. They increase rates of depression, self-harm, and su***de. Acceptance is not something that should come at the price of your wellbeing.
_Coping isn’t weakness. It’s survival._
1. _Name it_: You don’t have to be the strong one 24/7. Saying “I’m not okay” is courage, not failure.
2. _Share the load_: You’re not meant to carry everyone’s burden alone. Talking to a trusted friend, counselor, or support group lightens it.
3. _Set boundaries_: Being a provider doesn’t mean being everything to everyone. You can love your family and still protect your peace.
4. _Seek safe support_: If you’re gay and facing pressure to conform, you deserve spaces where you don’t have to explain or defend yourself. Affirming mental health support exists.
To every man reading this: your mental health matters. Whether you’re straight, gay, a father, a son, or all of the above, you deserve care without conditions.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. Pema Kenya is here. You can also contact a mental health professional or helpline in your area. You don’t have to carry this alone.
In solidarity,
Ishmael Bahati
Director, Pema Kenya
