24/10/2024
If you are planning to marry a man who believes in gender roles, make sure he has enough money to do his end of the bargain.
You cannot believe in gender roles and expect your wife to sort out half of the bills.
You cannot aspire to be a traditional husband and be out here asking women what they bring to the table monetarily. The moment a woman has to step out of the house to look for bread just like you do, that marriage has stopped being traditional. Expecting her to do both modern and traditional roles is a form of oppression and I would really want young girlies to take note of that.
Two people wake up every morning to get ready for work.
One person goes to the shower and puts on the clothes his wife ironed last night. He comes to the living room and takes breakfast that was made by his wife. He goes to work carrying a packed lunch that was made by the wife. He comes in the evening and eats dinner that was made by the wife (in utensils that were cleaned by the wife.)
He manages to sleep on a bed that was made by the wife in the morning and in a house that is only clean and tidy because the wife made sure of it. This woman still pays the bills at home. She still works from 8 to 5. She still uses her salary to budget for household needs but her husband calls himself a traditional man who provides and protects.
I know married women who operate under such conditions are already far too gone so this message is for unmarried women.
If you are interested in being a good mother, know MARRIED SINGLE MOTHERS do not have the luxury of being good and loving mothers. They are often unkind and screaming mothers.
If you want to be a good mother, you need a hands-on husband who takes an active role at home or a husband who has enough money to outsource help for you. You cannot be a good mother if you are living with an adult who is practically useless around the house. You will resent him and you will take that anger out on your children.
I REPEAT; If you make the mistake of marrying a patriarchal king who has no patriarchy money to support his chosen luxury of being useless at home, you will be exhausted all the time. And it is your children who will pay for having been born in a household that is run by a submissive provider and a useless adult who is no different from a baby that is fully dependent on adults for care.
A lot of women wonder why they are always screaming at their children in the morning and the answer lies in them being angry at their husbands.
It's a school day. You have three children. You have to wake them up, make sure they are getting ready, make sure they are in school on time. You have to make breakfast, you have to make sure everyone's shoes have shoe laces, you have to make sure everyone is eating fast enough. You also have to get ready for work but your husband is not helping. He's just in charge of dressing himself and taking breakfast (that he didn't make)
In such situations, a woman looks at the uselessness of her partner and she just gets angry. The funny thing is that Instead of holding the man accountable, these women will always take it out on their children.
They wake up in the morning frustrated and they start the day by calling their children ungrateful. Kidogo they are there accusing a ten year old of not appreciating them ( the mother) enough. I have legit heard my mums telling their children things like, “you kids want me dead” because they are far too gone to realize the poison that's trying to kill them is the one they cuddle up with at night.
In such households, children are often expected to fill in the role of the help. They can't do it all alone so they resort to; “Please polish your Dad's shoes. …. Please iron his shirt ….. Please make sure your younger sibling had put on his shoes the right way” and they imagine they are doing it to teach their children responsibility 😂😂😂
In the end, the first born daughters end up filling in the role of the nanny that the husband should have hired for his wife had he been the traditional husband he claims to be.
Many women out here think they have traditional husbands but what they really have is useless, selfish, lazy, inconsiderate burdens. They would actually have less workload if they released the extra burden they call a husband but they cope by convincing themselves they are only doing what is expected of a goodwife.
There's a reason why older women say, “his money is our money but my money is my money”
They know a traditional husband is the one who provides fully. They know a traditional husband does not need help paying rent, school fees and managing other household bills. They know traditional husbands are supposed to take care of their wives fully. That; whether she earns or not is immaterial.
If you are paying bills at home and doing all household labor without any help from your husband, you are not in a traditional marriage. You are suffering under the tyranny of a dictatorial regime.
Young women; REJECT WANNABE TRADITIONAL HUSBANDS WHO CANNOT AFFORD TO PROVIDE. Being a submissive provider is a doorway to exhaustion and misery. Being a submissive provider is exploitative. REJECT OPPRESSIVE SOCIAL STRUCTURES.
Young women; this economy demands a two income household. You will most likely never meet a man who can provide for you fully but you can choose a man who doesn't think he's too manly to do the dishes.
PS: Living in the delusion of men being providers is how most women ended up signing for dictatorial regimes. For every one woman who is provided for fully, there are thousands of others who are not.
Written by La Patrona
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