11/11/2015
Have you contributed to the Society we now have?
On Monday, November 9, 2015 a disturbing video of a young girl being s*xually abused by a young man went viral. The outcries since then have been for the young man to be killed and questions asked as to the reason the young girl was at his home, wasn’t she to be at school? And the fact that young girls love man too much they should be focusing primarily on their books.
My primary question is, are behaviours learnt or are they innate? One of the things I would want for us to focus on, is how can we prevent a re-occurrence of this ghastly act.
For far too long as a nation we have turned a blind eye to the things that shape a nation, values and attitudes. I know these two words seem over used and quite cliché but let’s begin to examine them. Generally, in raising boys and girls our value systems differ…when a boy falls we most times tell him to “get up man and brush it off, hey try nuh cry yuh nuh,” if the girl child falls our immediate reaction is to run to her rescue pick her up brush her off and “ hush princess.” Home chores are generally for the girl child and the outside chores for the boys; the boys are allowed to entertain their friends and/or stay out very late. The girls are for the most part made to remain indoors and are shouted at if their phones should ring. Too many of us as parents do not take the time to bond with our children/teenagers and so for the most part we are in the dark as to their activities and/or thoughts.
I was speaking recently with someone who has recently been baptized into the life of the garrison. The culture of which differs from that of the wider Jamaica…we must also note that although persons might relocate to other areas, their culture travels with them. The general greeting, he explained, female to female irrespective of age is big h**e gyal, when Mothers are summoning their daughters it is generally the same utterance. The boy child is usually in the company of older men who share their s*xual exploits. Our music and movies normalize rough s*x and teaches that women should feel pain during the act. A boy/man dare not refuse s*x from a girl/woman; his refusal means that he is less than a man or is gay.
Let’s zoom in again to Odane Greyson, the name given of the young man who has said he did NOT r**e his girlfriend. In Odane’s eyes and many young men he did nothing wrong, but had only taught his girl a lesson who he said had “dissed” him. The young lady has been communicating with Odane since the ordeal and has expressed her love for her “man” and has expressed to him that she found the in*******se although rough, sweet. Do you still think that the way to go about this is to kill the young man and see the young lady as stupid? Or should we begin to re-socialize our children and begin to encourage, empowerment sessions at the community and school level? We must begin to expose our children to the laws of the land as well as the proper way to relate one to another.
It is time for us to become our sister’s/brother’s keeper…how different are you who is asking for the death of Odane isn’t this violence? Odane felt that his girlfriend dissed him and so he needed to discipline her with his “rod.” For many of us we say Odane dissed the girl and so must be disciplined by us killing him…My sisters and brothers the situation can be handled differently, there is consequence for action indeed but let us examine ourselves and truly see how we have been engaging and interacting with children and the mixed messages taught whether directly or indirectly. Let’s join hands and hearts and change the way we socialize our children.
Dawnette Hinds-Furzer
Founder/Social Worker
CHO!CE Jamaica
