01/06/2026
#5719.
Assallam mu Alaikum, F
I am a 35-year-old woman and mother of two children. Lately, something has been bothering me deeply. Whenever we go out, I notice my husband looking repeatedly at attractive women, especially younger girls or those dressed in a modern way. What hurts is that this is the same man who, after marriage, discouraged me from wearing makeup, dressing up, waxing, or taking extra care of my appearance. He always said he preferred simplicity and that none of those things mattered to him.
I spent years adjusting myself according to his preferences and ignoring my own. Now, however, it feels as though his preferences have changed. As a mother of two young children, I cannot always maintain the same level of grooming or self-care as before. I have struggled with acne and acne scars since the beginning of our marriage. In seven years, he only took me to a dermatologist once, and even then it was because I insisted ๐
Otherwise, he would simply tell me not to worry about it and that it did not matter. Yet now he comments on how clear and beautiful other women's skin is and suggests home remedies instead of supporting proper treatment.
Alhamdulillah, I still take care of myself and most people do not believe I am 35. But time changes everyone, and it hurts when my efforts go unnoticed while other women seem to capture his attention so easily. Being around him sometimes leaves me feeling inadequate and degraded.
Our relationship has also become emotionally distant. I am usually the one trying to plan activities and bring some life back into our marriage. He also makes sexual jokes and comparisons that make me uncomfortable, he says he doesnโt feel the same pleasure during in*******se as before as after child birth my v*gina doesnโt offer the same tightness as it was when I was a virgin โฆ. then when I cry he dismisses them as harmless humor or when I express my discomfort.
All of this has made me question my worth as a woman. A wife spends her youth, energy, and years caring for her husband and family, yet it often feels like those sacrifices go unseen. I understand that noticing someone briefly is natural, but repeatedly staring at others is different and deeply hurtful. My husband was not always like this, but I feel a change in him. As his wife, I can sense it. Sometimes it feels as though he believes his looks, success, or status make him superior, even if he never says it directly.
I find myself wondering: Is this how most men are? Does the charm and appreciation in a marriage eventually fade with time, or is there something more going on here? ๐ฃ
๐จ๐
๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐
Hyderabadi Confessions ;D
"๐๐ค๐ง ๐ ๐๐ค๐ข๐ฅ๐ง๐๐๐๐ฃ๐จ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฌ ๐ค๐ ๐๐ก๐ก ๐๐ค๐ข๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐จ, ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ก๐ฎ ๐จ๐๐ก๐๐๐ฉ '๐๐๐ฌ๐๐จ๐ฉ' ๐๐ฃ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ '๐๐ค๐จ๐ฉ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ'."
