19/11/2025
𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗘𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
This is becoming a very common trend and sadly it's not just the West that's afflicted with it. Most Muslim nations have somehow come to believe that a girl must be "educated" before she gets married and the definition of "educated" means she must have a Bachelors degree. Normally that is completed at the age of 22. That's when her parents START searching, and if nothing found in a year or two, the girl starts her Masters degree, and then she develops "life goals" which include everything except for a family.
By the time she's ready, she's over 27 and it's a scary age to be in because the moment you hit 30s your chances of being chosen as a (first) wife by a man of similar age significantly drop.
What's worrying is that this is not just a secular phenomenon. In fact, the religious people have been afflicted by it as well. Bachelors and Masters have been replaced by Dars e Nizami or Aalimah degrees where women don't want to get married, or have kids, thinking that this will somehow hinder them from practicing Islam.
We have set our goals as these degrees and ijaazaat instead of capturing the essence of Islam and the type of society Islam promotes.
Now sisters might think that brothers are doing the same. Yes, they are. But please know that a man at 30 with a good job and stable income would have lines and lines of families ready to give him their daughter who is 22 and just graduated. And this is no hidden fact that a man who himself is 30+ would not want a wife who is 30+ as well. He might marry someone his age when he is young, but if he is unmarried or looking for another wife, he will not go for someone his age. You might get angry and not like this, but this is the reality.
Then the same women, after having lost their options due to their own mistakes, start posting against men online and say "where are the good men?" Sister, they are happily married to women who realized that they need to get married at the right time.
I often remember a conversation I overheard more than 10-12 years ago between my mother and an aunty in our relatives. Very eduated aunty btw, with both her sons as doctors. She said to my mom, and I still remember her words, that the real age for a woman to marry is between 16 to maximum 22, as that is when she is really blossoming and would be able to adjust in a new home and make a family.
Leaving the physical aspect aside, there's a psychological aspect to this as well. The more you age, the more rigid you become. I am 34 now. I was very flexible in some habits when I was 22. Now, I like my stuff how it is and would not be able to adjust to a new lifestyle so easily.
Since normally girls have to go and live with someone else, leaving her comfort and her usual habits, if she is young she can adopt easily. She can easily find out the likes and dislikes of her husband and adjust herself. I'm not saying the man doesn't have to. Of course he also needs to change some habits and adopt new ones. But you see the friction will be very high if BOTH are 35 and are well settled in their routines and now they suddenly have to live together.
Another aspect is acceptance of mistakes. Men are more forgiving to younger women thinking they are immature and would accept their foolishness, than older women whom they expect to be mature. But the reality is that even an older (I'm saying older, not old) woman wants to be like a child in front of her husband. But the man will not understand this. At least, most men do not.
Lastly, just in terms of reproductiveness, women have a high chance to get pregnant when they are young as compared to when they cross 30s and especially 35. Yes, the testosterone levels in men drop as well, but we have an unlimited supply as compared to women who have a finite number of eggs that can be fertilized. We all have grandmothers who have 10-11 kids. We think it's only better food that they had. That's not really true. We have good quality food as well. But one big reason was that she got married at 16 and by the time she was 30 she had 8 kids already! Now if a woman gets married at 26-27 of course she would have 1 kid by the time she's 30 and then maybe 1 or 2 more and she would get tired. Her body just wouldn't be that strong to carry the burden of pregnancy, or she might not be able to carry the psychological load of it.
There are a thousand reasons one can give about why marrying young is beneficial, and IMPORTANT especially for women. But of course, when you're bombarded with liberalism and feminism and my body my rules from all sides, then it becomes hard to see the simple narrative of "get married young" even if your body is screaming about it.
📝 Omer Shahid
