17/06/2026
Today is my 35th wedding anniversary. I feel fortunate to have married Renuka, and I am grateful for the life we have built together.
I got married quite late, at the age of 39, so I also enjoyed one of the longest bachelorhood among my friends! Today, like many middle-class families, we have two married daughters, a granddaughter, a house, a car, blood pressure, diabetes, and EMIs.
As I look back, however, I find myself reflecting critically on the institution of marriage and family. Historically, marriage has often been structured in ways that place unequal expectations on women. Women are socialized to believe that their primary role is to serve others—cooking, cleaning, washing, caring for children, looking after in-laws, providing emotional support, and often meeting the sexual and domestic expectations of their husbands. Working women, in addition to all these responsibilities, are also expected to contribute financially to the household.
From an economic perspective, marriage has frequently functioned as a system that secures a vast amount of unpaid labour from women. This arrangement is wrapped in the language of tradition, culture, religion, and family values, making it appear natural and desirable. As a result, many women devote long hours of labour without wages, recognition, or social security, often without questioning the inequalities embedded within the system.
I believe it is time to reimagine marriage and family relationships so that they are genuinely based on freedom, equality, mutual respect, and shared responsibilities. We need to explore new ways of relating to one another that move beyond traditional hierarchies and expectations.
Perhaps many of the social problems we face today—from gender inequality and domestic violence to unequal opportunities and emotional isolation—cannot be solved without fundamentally rethinking how we organize our most intimate relationships.
On my wedding anniversary, I celebrate my relationship with Renuka while also reflecting on how marriage and family can evolve into institutions that offer greater freedom, dignity, and equality for everyone.
