02/06/2026
A. It feels somewhat strange to write about the legitimacy of pride from a Jewish perspective at a time when many within the camp opposed to LGBTQ people regularly speak in terms of Jewish pride and national pride. But perhaps that is precisely why the question is worth asking: What is pride? When is it a negative trait, and when is it a virtue?
B. The medieval Jewish commentators derived the prohibition against being prideful from the verses: “Your heart will become haughty and you will forget the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 8:14), and “You will say in your heart: My strength and the power of my hand have produced this wealth for me” (ibid. 8:17), contrasted with the commandment: “You shall remember the Lord your God, for He is the One who gives you the strength to achieve” (ibid. 8:18).
In Proverbs we read: “Every proud-hearted person is an abomination before the Lord” (Proverbs 16:5). A haughty person becomes an abomination—a kind of idol unto himself, competing, as it were, with Hashem for His place in the world. The Sages expressed this idea in striking terms: “Regarding anyone who possesses arrogance, the Holy One says: ‘I and he cannot dwell together in the world.’”
The prohibition of pride, then, is not directed at self-worth itself, but at its separation from Hashem. This is certainly connected to gratitude—to recognizing that Hashem is the source of one’s success, and therefore not looking down upon others. But it is also, and perhaps even more fundamentally, connected to the moral responsibility that follows from that recognition.
If it is truly “my strength and the power of my hand,” then there is no one to whom I must answer. No one who can hold me accountable.
And indeed, sadly, there are no shortage of people, both on the personal level and on the national one, who act out of precisely this kind of pride and even use Torah itself to justify superiority and the mistreatment of others. By contrast, when a person remembers that Hashem is the One who grants strength and success, then even that strength is exercised with humility and moral responsibility, with kindness and compassion. Power is no longer merely a gift; it is also a demand. It obligates a person to a moral standard that he did not create for himself.
Pride, therefore, is not merely a mistake regarding the source of one’s success. It is an attempt to escape the responsibility and obligation that come with acknowledging that source.
C. And yet, pride and elevation of spirit can also be positive qualities.
The Sages taught that a Torah scholar should possess “one-eighth of one-eighth” of pride. Rashi explains: “So that frivolous people will not treat him with contempt.” A certain measure of dignity is necessary if one wishes to defend the honor of Torah and not be intimidated by mockery.
The Zohar goes even further, interpreting the verse “Let another praise you and not your own mouth” (Proverbs 27:2) to imply that there are situations in which a person must make his own virtues known when no one else will do so.
King Jehoshaphat is praised because “his heart was lifted up in the ways of the Lord” (II Chronicles 17:6), and indeed he led significant religious reforms against the prevailing norms of his time. Nachmanides identifies a similar quality in Moses and in the builders of the Tabernacle, particularly Bezalel, who answered the great calling that had been entrusted to him. Without some measure of self-worth and confidence in one’s abilities, it is difficult to bring about change, whether in one’s own life or in the world.
Indeed, Hashem Himself is described as “the pride of your strength” and as “my glory and the One who lifts my head” (Psalms 3:4). He is the source of the pride of Israel and of the individual, enabling them to act in the world with their heads held high and their backs straight.
D. Rav Kook formulated this idea as follows:
“A person must recognize his inner talents and know whether he was created for great things. He should not fear the sin of pride when he recognizes the level of his intellect and the value of the inclinations of his will. On the contrary, one must be even more cautious of a false humility that crushes the soul and obscures the Divine light within it.”
Rabbi Chaim Friedlander writes in Siftei Chaim:
“The desire and drive for distinction and pride are naturally rooted in the human soul. This aspiration that was implanted within a person was certainly not intended for something negative, but for holiness... Every person is obligated to say: ‘The world was created for my sake.’ When the Sages said that one is obligated to say this, they did not mean merely verbal recitation. Rather, a person is obligated to feel and live with this awareness... The task of a human being is to remove arrogance from within, to remove all of its negative elements.”
E. At a lecture I gave last week at a high school, one of the students asked me how I deal with the hate. I answered that over time I have developed somewhat of an “elephant’s skin,” and that I am mostly glad that if some of that hatred is directed at me, perhaps a little less of it reaches people who are even more vulnerable.
Truthfully, I can no longer remember the last time I opened social media without encountering at least one new hateful comment.
It is true that I have a larger public profile than most people. But the amount of filth and hostility that an LGBTQ person absorbs simply by existing in public space is almost impossible to describe.
And that is before I even begin to speak about the verbal and physical violence directed at LGBTQ people in the streets and beyond the virtual world, a reality that continues to grow.
And when people ask me what the struggle is about, why there is a parade at all, the answer is this: Until every boy and girl can grow up and move through the world without fear.
F. In a world where boys and girls, men and women, are taught to be ashamed of who they are, where people are degraded simply because of the way the Master of the Universe created them, it is difficult to imagine a healthier or more appropriate response than dignity, self-respect, and pride.
Just as people called for a revival of Jewish pride during the low points of exile, so too here.
Only through recognizing one’s own worth, the Divine image within, the unique way in which one was created, the simple fact that one is worthy, can a person act in the world and claim his or her place within it. To demand justice, fairness, and equality. To bring redemption to oneself and to the world.
G. The Jerusalem Pride and Tolerance March, and the Mincha (afternoon prayer service) that for me is its true climax, is entirely a prayer, a demand, and a hope for a better future.
And at the very same time, it is also the realization of that future here and now.
A large community of people who love Hashem, LGBTQ people and supportive straight allies alike, standing before Him in joy, united as one.
This year as well, come and pray with us.
With your feet and with your lips.
Written by our very own Pardes Educator, Rabbi Rafael J. Polisuk. Rav Rafael Jonathan Polisukonth
