24/11/2025
Did you know that in Japan, over 70% of infants and toddlers co-sleep with their parents?
It’s not controversial.
It’s not something they hide.
It’s a tradition called *soine*, a sleep arrangement where baby sleeps between mother and father, like the character for “river.”
It’s done to promote security.
Not independence. Not training.
Security.
And in Japan, “sleep training” doesn’t even exist as a concept.
Night waking isn’t treated as a problem, no matter how a baby is fed.
Their SIDS rate?
0.2 per 1,000 births.
Compare that to the U.S., where SIDS rates are more than 30 times higher.
Some research suggests Japan’s low SIDS rate is related to their high rates of co-sleeping.
Dr. James McKenna, the world’s leading infant sleep researcher, spent 30 years studying this.
His research shows,
Babies who sleep close to their mothers have more stable breathing.
They wake more easily, which helps protect against deep, risky sleep.
Their sleep cycles sync with their mother’s.
They regulate better.
It’s not broken sleep.
It’s biologically normal sleep.
But somewhere along the way, Western culture sold us a different story:
That babies should sleep alone.
In a crib.
Through the night.
By 6 months.
That story was built in the 1950s
based on formula-feeding, isolated sleep, and adult centered routines.
It wasn’t based on biology.
It wasn’t based on connection.
And it’s not working.
Most babies don’t sleep through the night by 6 months.
Most parents who try sleep training eventually stop, because it doesn’t feel right.
Maybe the problem isn’t your baby.
Maybe it’s the expectation that babies should sleep like adults.
Your baby isn’t broken.
They’re waking because that’s what human babies do.
They’re following instincts that have kept our species alive.
Waking. Reaching. Responding.
That’s how connection grows.
That’s how brains build.
That’s what safety feels like to a baby.
So if you’re contact napping, co-sleeping
if you’re tired, touched out, and wondering if you're doing it wrong...
This is your reminder
You’re not failing.
You’re doing what humans have always done.
And your baby is doing exactly what they’re meant to do 🖤
