01/04/2026
Dundalk Amateur Radio Society in conjunction with Arachni Tech.
🚨 BREAKING PRODUCT ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨
Tired of your signal getting caught in a web?
Introducing the Arachni-SWRâ„¢ 3000: Electro-Static Web Decoupler & Parasitic Spider Suppressor!
Every seasoned amateur operator knows the frustration. You spend thousands on a high-gain Yagi or a perfectly balanced dipole, only for local wildlife to ruin your noise floor. But while we worry about rain static and bird droppings, a much more silent, sinister killer of decibels has been ignored: Arachnid-Induced Dielectric Loading.
Recent studies (conducted exclusively in my backyard) have shown that standard garden spider silk possesses a bizarrely high velocity factor. When spun across your driven element, the high-tensile silk acts as an unauthorized, unshakeable parasitic element. Even worse, the high-saline water content of the spider itself creates a massive impedance mismatch right at the feed point!
If you’ve noticed your SWR creeping up or a mysterious 0.5 dB drop on 20 meters, you don't need a new analyzer. You need the Arachni-SWR™ 3000.
Key Features:
Nano-Pulse Web Detonation: Utilizing a specialized, low-duty cycle RF burst on the 1.25-meter band, the unit sends a microscopic electrostatic pulse down your feedline, instantly vaporizing spider silk without damaging your coax or matching network.
Species-Specific Squelch Control: Different spiders cause different attenuation! Our front-panel rotary dial allows you to tune the suppression circuitry for Orb Weavers (high capacitance), Wolf Spiders (highly inductive), or Jumping Spiders (intermittent mobile flutter).
Chitine-Rejectâ„¢ Weather Coating: Comes with a pressurized can of our proprietary non-conductive, hydrophobic aerosol. One spray on your insulators ensures spiders find your aluminum too slippery to anchor to.
Full QSK Compatibility: The internal vacuum relays ensure the anti-spider pulses cease the millisecond you press your CW key or PTT, preventing any intermodulation between your transceiver and the spider grid.
What the Beta Testers are Saying:
"I thought my antenna was just directional, but it turns out a massive barn spider was absorbing all my front-to-back ratio. Since installing the Arachni-SWR 3000, I've worked three new DXCC entities on 40m!"
— KØBUG
"I used to have to climb my 50-foot tower with a broom every Saturday. Now I just crank up the Spider Squelch and watch them repel away. My wife says I've finally lost it, but my signal reports have never been better."
— EI8WEB
Special Introductory Price: €672.69(Only available on April 1st!)
Note: Not guaranteed to work on radio "bugs." Use of this device may result in intense questioning by neighbors wondering why you are shaking your antenna at 3:00 AM.
