Udruga Dijete-razvod / Association Child-Divorce

11/06/2023

09/06/2023

https://www.facebook.com/victimtohero/videos/577522497834787/

17/05/2023

12/05/2023

TO PLUTOED MOMS*

Mother’s Day offers little to celebrate for those women whose children avoid them and seem unaware of their mother’s value.

If reconnection with your children is not in the cards, at least in the present, I hope this Mother’s Day you will be able to surround yourself with people who love you and appreciate you.

Some women may choose to reach out to their children on Mother’s Day. Children who took sides with one parent against the other, in time may soften their harsh attitudes and become receptive to overtures of reconciliation. Too many parents and children remain disconnected out of inertia—neither the parent nor the child makes the first move to upset the status quo and return to normality. Neither is confident that a bid to renew loving contact will be met favorably. If this describes your situation, you may want to consider a Mother’s Day peace overture.

If your children fail to make contact on this holiday or treat you with disdain—and you have a thick skin—consider communicating with them through some means to let them know that you think about them every day. Perhaps mention special moments from the past, reflections of the deep parent–child bond that cannot be entirely erased.

Tell them that no matter how they act, you are still their mother. And on this day, you celebrate the fact of your motherhood, you accept they cannot, and you look forward to the day when they recover their identity as children of two parents. Perhaps try a more assertive message: “The time has come to put this behind us and forge a new relationship, the type we used to have, deserve to have, and might have had if your parents’ separation had never occurred.”

To fathers and other relatives who contributed to children’s alienation from their mother: now is the time to help your children recover what they have lost. Gift your children with explicit permission to reestablish contact with their mother and let them know you love them enough that it will please you to see them restore a loving relationship with their mother.

To rejected mothers: don’t permit smears to infect your view of yourself. No matter how much your ex and your children put you down, this does not alter the reality of who you are, all that you have done for your children, and all the love that you feel for them.

To children who reject their mothers: if your complaints about your mom reflect the sort of mistakes that most parents make from time to time, recognize that no one is without fault. For gosh sakes, cut your mom some slack. Reach out and tell her you love her.

My final Mother’s Day message is one of hope. As alienated children grow up, some begin to reevaluate the past and reach out to a parent they have rejected. I do not believe in raising false hopes. But when it comes to plutoed parents, there is reason for hope. To keep you going while you wait for your children to recover their bond to you, find fuel in the Divorce Poison Control Center’s section on successfully restored relationships: https://warshak.com/alienation/dpcc.html .

To quote Paul Simon:

No I would not give you false hope
On this strange and mournful day
But the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away.

* Why do I call canceled mothers “plutoed moms”? You’ll find the answer here:
https://warshak.com/pluto/index.html

28/04/2023

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xNY6hO6jzA

27/04/2023

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogAxc2RNHyk

18/04/2023

https://www.ravnopravnoroditeljstvo.org/ucesnici-2-medjunarodne-konferencije-o-ravnopravnom-roditeljstvu/

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