17/08/2026
For a long time I was waiting for the ceremony to do something to me. Take something out, hand me back a cleaner version of myself. That is not what happened most of the times.
What I got was a view, sometimes a glimpse. I saw where I was standing and I did not like all of it.
The actual change came weeks later and it was unspectacular. A conversation I would normally leave, and I stayed. A yes I had given automatically for years, and this time I heard myself not say it.
Nobody sees that part. There is no photo of it. It is you on a Tuesday afternoon, choosing something different while the old reflex is still sitting right there in your body.
So no, the medicine did not change me. It showed me my world. Learning to live in it differently has been mine to do.
What did you actually do differently after your last ceremony?