23/04/2026
In a recent Focused Group Discussion with refugee men in Kakuma participating in our Male Agents of Change training, we created space for an honest and nuanced conversation around cultural norms and their influence on gender roles.
One of the recurring sentiments shared was the Swahili saying “Mkosa mila ni mtumwa,” which translates to “One who lacks culture is a slave.” For many participants, this reflects the strong social pressure to conform to long-standing traditions often out of fear of judgment or exclusion by the wider community.
Some of the norms discussed included beliefs that a man should never engage in domestic responsibilities such as cooking and that paying dowry is seen as a form of “compensation,” reinforcing the idea that household roles are fixed and transactional. Others highlighted how certain expectations are not only upheld by men but are also internalized by women, where, in some cases, support from a partner may be perceived as a sign of weakness or even a lack of love.
At the same time, the discussion revealed important shifts in perspective. A younger participant shared that when he asked a woman whether she would welcome support from her spouse, her response was clear: she would appreciate it. This moment underscored a growing openness to rethinking traditional roles, particularly among younger generations.
These conversations are a critical step toward understanding the “why” behind deeply rooted practices, without dismissing the cultural contexts they emerge from. As we move forward, EmpowerVan will build on these insights through a Training of Trainers initiative with men creating opportunities for reflection, dialogue and the co-creation of more equitable norms that uphold dignity for both women and men.
Change begins with listening. And through continued engagement, it becomes possible.
