16/12/2025
The situation unfolding around the conflict in Ukraine with its multidimensional aspects, has prompted me to revisit conflict handling styles. I know they are numerous, but I will focus on this one, which I consider the most comprehensive and practical, when we want to understand behaviors of the conflicting parties.
In a conflict situation, the needs and concerns of two or more parties seem to be incompatible and sometimes very sharply.
For assessing conflict handling styles, behavior of the parties can be largely described along two basic dimensions: Assertiveness and Cooperativeness.
These two basic behavioral dimensions can be applies to define five conflict handling styles: Dominating/competing; accommodating; avoiding; collaborating; compromising.
🫳Dominating/Competing: You are very assertive and not cooperative. You pursue your own concerns at another party’s expense. It is a power-oriented mode. It is a position that states: I have to win (does not it remind you of something or someone in the Russian-Ukrainian conflict?). It can also mean: I have to stand up for myself, for my rights. It entails defending a position by argument, by rank/influence or by economic/military advantage. In a nutshell, you win, the other loses. The victorious conclusion of the Karabakh conflict by Azerbaijan is a vivid example.
🫳Accommodating: You are unassertive and cooperative. It is the opposite of competing. When accommodating you neglect your own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other(s); there is an element of self-sacrifice in this handling style. It can be selfless, generous; it can be yielding because of the weakness of one party.
🫳Avoiding: You are unassertive and uncooperative. You don’t (immediately) pursue your own concerns or those of the other party. You don’t address the conflict. It can be a diplomatic way of handling conflict, postponing for a better time (The way how Georgia deals with its internal secessionist conflicts, is an example). It can also be a withdrawal that could lead to worsening of a situation.
🫳Collaborating: You are a both assertive and cooperative. It is the opposite of avoiding. You are working with the other party to find a solution that fully or relatively satisfies the concerns of both. It means dialogue, it means good listening, it means understanding your and other party’s needs and concerns and creating solutions to meet those concerns. This is a win-win situation, technically speaking. However, frankly speaking, there is no such thing as an absolute win-win.
🫳Compromising: You are partially assertive and partially cooperative. When you compromise you attempt to find an expedient, mutually acceptable solution, which partially satisfies both parties. When you compromise, you split the difference, you make concessions, you give up something, to gain something. You seek a middle-ground position. You win a little, but you lose a little.
