28/10/2026
I was absolutely delighted to get into the chauffeur's car again today. You'll all be pleased to know that although I was very tempted to add my own artistic touches to the new car seat cover, I managed to resist nibbling it this week. You're welcome, chauffeur.
We arrived at the woods, which is my favourite place because I know exactly how it works, and off we went. The chauffeur spent much of the walk muttering about how I never use the actual paths and insist on bulldozing my way through brambles instead. Honestly, I don't know why she complains. The best smells are never found on the boring paths.
After our first wander, we headed back to the car where I enjoyed some delicious sardines while we sat and watched the world go by. I attempted to climb onto her lap but when that proved slightly more challenging than anticipated, I gave her a proper Martha snog instead. She told me she'd been "Martha'd". Correct. You had.
Then we set off again and made our customary stop at a picnic bench. The moment we arrived, down went my bottom, ready for treats, fuss and admiration. It's our routine now and I rather like it.
Later we found another picnic bench and repeated the process. I do appreciate consistency.
The chauffeur then tried taking me down a brand-new path. Unfortunately, I wasn't getting the right feeling about it at all, so I promptly planted my bottom on the ground and informed her that I would not be proceeding any further. To her credit, she understood immediately.
Before we got back in the car, three dogs appeared in the distance. Now here's the clever bit. I watched them quietly. No spinning. No screeching. No dramatic performances whatsoever. Just calm observation. The chauffeur told me she was proud of me, which made me feel rather pleased with myself.
By the time we reached the car, I was completely exhausted and flopped straight down on the back seat for the journey home.
Of course, once we got back, I somehow found just enough energy for one final zoom around the paddock before launching myself at the chauffeur for more fuss. Someone has to keep the old girl on her toes, after all.
Love Martha xx