Hope4mums

29/03/2026

I am still feeling all the feels from Thursday night.

Been part of the voices of hope event organised by Su***de Sucks was an absolute honour, but to be there with my daughter who had recently attempted to end her life just brought more depth and meaning to it.

Been in the same room as others that have also seen their darkest moments and are now recovering, some working to change the world for others, some working to make sure their world changes, both equally important, was inspiring and then add on those that wanted to be there alongside us!

It can feel like the loneliest place when you are low, but that night proved that there are people that care.

And I haven't even spoken about the artists that created the artwork to accompany our stories and message of hope.

They were all incredible, but seeing the artwork that represents my darkest moment and the moment of hope, had me tearing up, I don't understand how a stranger could look into my soul and see inside, but she did. And how she put that on paper just blew my mind. I am so thankful that she choose me ❤️

The whole evening was magical. It was an experience that I will never forget.

If you are feeling like this or you have someone in your life that feels like this, check out the su***de sucks podcast, people from all walks of life share their stories and it is inspiring and moving.

If you are in a position to help, share a couple of the posts, if you can, consider donating to the 8 minutes campaign they are running, but most importantly know that you deserve to stay alive and this stranger on the internet is so grateful that you are here ❤️

11/03/2026

I am quite heartbroken writing this post, I know how little support there is for mother's especially right now, and I am so sorry that I am doing this.

I need to step away from Hope for a while. My care and support is needed at home right now - when I say that I am just like you, going through the same experiences as you, I meant it, I am battling the school system to make sure that my children get the support they need, and it is taking it out of me.

We had a really scary emergency with my eldest Friday night, which has cemented my decision.

Thank you for trusting me and for taking me along with your motherhood journey.

🐝❤️

04/03/2026

Had a gorgeous walk here, this sunshine is lovely!

And topped off with a white hot chocolate 😍

This is the door to look for if you are joining us! 🐝❤️

02/03/2026

Disappointing that neither MY Maternity & Neonatal or South West Yorkshire Partnership Foundation Trust Perinatal Service have published the call for evidence for the national maternity and neonatal investigation.

If you have had a baby here is the link for you to add your experience.

It's easy to do, I have completed it and I am happy to sit with you on Wednesday if you need support to complete it, this needs to be completed by the 17th March 2026.

Baroness Amos is asking women and families across England to share their experiences of maternity and neonatal care through a public Call for Evidence.

23/02/2026

Face to face session is back...

At Back of the Net - Wakefield

Wednesdays 1pm until 2.30pm starting 4th March.

There is parking and the 104 bus runs past from Wakefield bus station.

You'll be able to find me in the crossbar and there will be a few toys out for littles.

As usual no cost for you to come, just turn up! 💛🐝

17/02/2026

❤️

17/02/2026

I know a few families are struggling with school attendance, and considering that I have had to do a lot of reading and research whilst fighting for my children to get the education they deserve, I thought I would share what I have learnt....

I can't promise that your school will comply with the law - we have reached the end of the complaint process for the secondary school that my eldest attends and they are still claiming that they have done what they have had to do - but it is always best to know these things, so that you can take it as far as you are capable of, whilst looking after yourself.

We have statutory Guidance that is published on the gov.uk website

https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/statutory-guidance-schools -and-attendance--

Statutory guidance sets out what schools and local authorities MUST do to comply with the law.

There are a lot of documents and many must be read alongside documents that they state.

For right now, I am going to talk about the Working together to improve school attendance.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/66bf300da44f1c4c23e5bd1b/Working_together_to_improve_school_attendance_-_August_2024.pdf

This document is for schools, local authorities and parents.

It is important because it sets out what each must do, to help attendance and make sure that students receive education.

The main thing here is that schools must complete the attendance record accurately. This is to collect data to process and share with the local authority, to ensure that students that need support accessing education are picked up and not falling through the gaps.

The way schools do this is by using different codes to capture attendance and the reasons why students may not be in school, this is then presented to the local authority and they can then step in to offer alternative provisions if they are needed. One of the codes for this is (I) illness (not medical or dental appointment) and is used when a student is unable to attend because of illness (both physical and mental health) it is important to let school know the reason - and if your child is struggling with their mental health say this. My school has a telephone number I can text for absences and it has been a lifesaver to be able to go back and review the record against my reasons for absence. I would advised written communication for absences so that you can do the same.

Now schools will ask you for evidence, but I have screenshot the rest of the information under chapter 8 so that you can read about what is required. Essentially schools cannot be unreasonable in their requests for evidence or clarification.

So in our case we provided proof that she had had her initial appointments with CAMHS and that we were on the waiting list for further support from the core team. That should have been the evidence to support a code (I). A diagnosis is not needed and it is not reasonable to request on considering the waiting times.

Once the attendance record is correctly recorded, schools must complete a sickness return to the local authority - this is data capturing students that have missed 15 sessions either continuously or cumulatively due to sickness. This is so that the school and local authority agree to any provision to ensure the continuous education for students. No student should be left without access to education.

Now this then links to this document

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/education-for-children-with-health-needs-who-cannot-attend-school

This outlines the alternate provisions that can be provided.

If the school and local authority are not following this. You can apply for a section 19 yourself.

I could go on and on and on, but I will finish with, if your child has been struggling with an illness (physical and mental health) for over 12 months and it affects their day to day life substantially they are protected under the equality act 2010. You do not need to have a diagnosis to be protected, but I would suggest having some log of evidence of medical appointments to start the ball rolling to gain a diagnosis. This then offers you more rights and protection, if schools fail to follow the above you may have cause to follow up with discrimination.

This is of course not legal advise, this is my own research and I would suggest reading through the documents so that you are able to gather information that would help you in your individual circumstances.

As always if you need help please reach out and I will try my best, I can't promise the results will be any better, but if you are like me, knowing that I am advocating for my children with the facts on my side helped my mental health so much, it also infuriated me that the facts are also ignored, but that's a whole different story!

I apologise that this is so long!

13/02/2026

I hate when mothers are used, we deserve far more then been used as a way to fund something that is not fit for purpose.

The little hub was award funding from the national lottery in October 2024 - and I was informed in May 2025 that the funding was coming to the end. That is 8 months - not the 12 months that was in the application.

The application promised to support 12 women per session - the number of session were not included.

Going on the numbers that she has posted and not including the number for Hope as she claims that the funding was not used for that ( despite the conversation I have screenshotted for you) she managed to support 0.69 mothers, give or take because a couple of numbers were missing in her post.

She has also mentioned the rent and the price for heating the little hub - but has failed to mention that most of the courses were online or in the local park. So why was the little hub standing empty, when the cost was so high? A shut building does nothing to promote the space for other potential clients wanting to use the space.

If Hope was given the space for free - why was my data needed for the national lottery?

Incase you missed it, towards the end of the funding many of the course were at cost to you. Some courses costing £25, why did the funding not cover all the cost?

The application must have had projected costs that align with supporting the mothers over a 12 month period, and yet that funding didn't support the women it was meant to, didn't last as long as it was meant too, and didn't cover the full cost of the things she is claiming it too.

Sometimes holding organisation accountable can feel like slander, but I assure you, this is not slander. This is making sure that the mother of Wakefield are supported by those that are claiming to do so.

You will never have to worry about the support I offer you. I have walked the same path as you and I will continue to ensure that receive the support you deserve.

13/02/2026

I have been kneedeep reading through statutory guidance for schools.

It is so frustrating, when the very systems we think we can lean on, don't know what they are supposed to be doing. So instead of been that support, they become something we have to teach.

Mothers are already expected to do so much, and yet here we are, having to navigate legal meetings, make sure we are an expert in what school are meant to do, become councillors, whilst our children are on waiting lists. Drown ourselves in reading theories and medical documents.

So how do we manage to look after ourselves in the midst of all this - because despite one lovely teaching telling me, our mental health matters.

Unfortunately I am not going to tell you that a spa break will solve all your problems. As much as that would be lovely, I know how hard it is to get that free time (three different family members had to look after my children so I could have one night away and that has been the first night away in 5 years)

I am talking about play. How we can regulate ourselves alongside our children (or even by yourself if they are busy with another task)

Finding joy throughout our days is amazing. And we can do that through play.

Grab yourself some playdoh next time you are frustrated. Squeeze it, feel the coolness on your palms study the shape of it, take a deep breath as you squeeze and when you release, release your breath.

Throw it on the table. Stomp on it. And as you feel that frustration eases, allow your creativity to appear.

Turn that frustration into joy. Allow that frustration to become productive.

Your children will see you doing this, they will learn through watching you and they will also do this to help them regulate.

12/02/2026

Instrustive thoughts can stop us living our lives.

They cause isolation and shame, but they aren't who we are.

They are just thoughts, thoughts that make your worse nightmare seem true, but they are not who you are becoming.

For me, intrusive thoughts were either very sexual (based on past trauma) or thoughts of harming myself and my children (either accidental or purposefully) I was terrified that this images where who I was becoming.

I have gorgeous children and I know that I wouldn't want any harm to come to them so why was my brain showing me these images.

So I started seeing these as warning signs, my brain was trying to protect us all, and was showing me things that might go wrong.

So I would acknowledge it, tell my brain thank you and then continue. The continuing is important. When we don't continue your brain thinks it got it right.

I still struggle with my intrusive thoughts, some times I have to actively put myself in situations to be able to push through and allow my brain to know I am safe.

Last weekend I took a train, I haven't been on a train for a long time, because my brain would scream at me. And I will be honest, it was awful. The images were vivid and I was panicking, but I did it. And you can too.

These images and thoughts are not a prediction of the future.

And as a little side note - if you are having intrusive thoughts about su***de or harm, it doesn't always mean that you have intention, there is a difference and your healthcare professional should know, so please don't feel like you can't share this for fear of safeguarding.

Picture of the fantastic scones in York!

04/11/2025

You may have seen this floating about the internet recently...

I wonder if this MP will bring up the decision to shut down Healthwatch Wakefield (which has had its funding extended slightly)

Healthwatch worked hard to listen to mothers in our area and changed visitations for fathers. They are now allowed to stay overnight, which is amazing.

They might not have a bed for sleeping (is sleep even a thing when you are a new parent!)

Or food - but they can leave the ward!

Father's are important, but taking away the voices of services to make changes happen isn't going to help the list of demands this father would like! 🫣

Rupert Lowe