13/08/2026
Not our usual post, but with the world watching the Lindsay Clancy case.. we also thought it important to highlight Postnatal depression.
However I would like to make this personal.
Everyone has their view on this case, but with millions of women feeling empathy for a woman who allegedly murdered her 3 young children, we must ask ourselves why?!
With 10-15% of women experiencing PPD within the first year (recorded) many understand the emotions of this woman.
No one is agreeing with what happened, but women acknowledge the severity of mental stress after having a baby.
During my pregnancy I was deeply grieving a loved one. I was mum to 3 other children. I was studying a degree and I was trying to enjoy but fearing a pregnancy after a loss. All of this was logged during visits to multiple healthcare professionals.
After my baby was born, I wasn’t checked on by anyone. No follow ups. Baby no. 4 - “you know what you’re doing”.
For 2 years I suffered Postnatal depression.
I sadly didn’t bond properly with my baby for months, even though I knew I loved her. I was on autopilot being devoted mum, studying, running a charity and being the one everyone leaned on. However the reality is, I would cry silently in the bathroom, cry behind sunglasses in the car, when everyone was asleep I’d break down. Have feelings of not being good enough. My mind would tell me I was a failure to my kids if I missed one appointment or piece of information. The pressure was nothing like I’d ever experienced.
But on the surface I looked like I was doing great.
I became numb emotionally trying to avoid the depression. I acted out emotions. Acted out happiness. Had panic attacks. And became absolutely exhausted.
But no one had any idea what I was going through. And to be totally honest… neither did I for a long time.
So for me.. not understanding postnatal depression even though you get handed leaflets on it, I had no idea to get help. I just carried on.
However … would I have asked for help had I known? Probably not. And I’ll tell you why.
The thoughts I had were that I wasn’t good enough. That, if I failed my children, they would hate me. That if anyone knew I was struggling, my baby and potentially other children would be taken from me. That everyone would look at me differently. They’d see me as weak.
And in all honesty I was drowning. There was no rest. No help. Any request was a burden on someone else.
I’ll repeat, the pressure in my own head was astronomical.
Except Lindsay WAS asking for help. And (in my opinion) instead of giving her actual rest, they filled her with medications. Medications that cross the brain blood barrier. That can cause worse symptoms.
And here’s where this gets personal again… last year my anxiety was playing up pretty bad. I have controlled it through the years with citalopram whenever I thought it was effecting me more than not. It’s always made me slightly sick/nauseous, then a few weeks later the anxiety would settle. But within days of taking it last year I had a reaction to it where it caused the panic attacks to be worse than I’ve ever experienced. Put thoughts in my head of things that terrified me like irrational fears of my girls getting kidnapped like it was going to happen, or someone breaking in a stabbing my baby… and I ended up in hospital.
This was long after the depression ended but can you imagine these two things happened at the same time??!
The pictures below were mid depression!
What got me out it…? I don’t know. And I genuinely mean that. One day I just snapped out of it. And now I’m very protective of my mental health. But the scary part is that, had something happened to me, no one had a clue.
And that’s why this case personally breaks my heart. This mother begged for help and was failed. She’s now left without her children which is every parents worst nightmare and to add to that nightmare, she herself is responsible.
Do I think she’ll survive this? No. Because I wouldn’t.
And that’s why PPD needs to be brought the light more! More than a leaflet during pregnancy! Or waiting for someone to cry infront of us to ask if something is wrong.
Real help is needed for ALL new mothers up to a year post birth.
If you have a partner, daughter, sister, friend or neighbour, check in, help without being asked.
Become a village again. ♥️
