29/09/2026
A real inspiration for those going through the toughest of times, how you can take that negative and turn it into a positive. Angela Reay’s journey led to the creation of Chilln N Spilln which is an incredible ladies only group that has went from strength to strength and helped so many people ❤️ please take 5 minutes to read this, or share it with someone who could do with some positivity. If you are struggling this is proof that things can and will get better, in time, it won’t be easy, but it will get better. Please don’t struggle alone, reach out if you need to, there’s lots of help and support out there
MY STORY ❤️-THE HEART OF CHILLN N SPILLN. THIS IS LENGTHY AND POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING.
I never imagined that a diagnosis could change so much of me.
In 2022 i was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.
I can still remember how those words seemed to change the air around me. One minute you're living your ordinary life, thinking about all the usual things, and then suddenly you're having conversations you never expected to have about your own body and your own future.
People around you ask how you are.
You say you're okay.
What else do you say?
The truth was, i wasn't always okay.
The cancer was frightening, but what happened inside my head afterwards was something i hadn't really prepared myself for.
My Mental Health took a battering.
There were days when i could be talking to people, laughing and carrying on as normal, and then i'd get home and feel completely drained. I'd shut the door and all the emotions i'd managed to hold back during the day would come rushing in.
I'd lie there thinking
Overthinking
Worrying
Replaying things in my head.
Wondering what was going to happen next. And sometimes i didn't even know exactly what i was feeling. I just knew i wasn't myself. That's the strange thing about Mental Health, there isn't always a visible sign. Nobody can look at you and see the thoughts going around in your head.
You can get dressed, put make up on, have a conversation, laugh at a joke and still feel like you're struggling underneath it all.
I started to realise that what i needed wasn't somebody telling me to be positive. I didn't need somebody telling me i was strong. I needed somewhere i could say " TODAY I'M STRUGGLING" without feeling like i'd let anybody down. And that got me thinking about other women. I wondered how many were doing exactly what i was doing- getting through the day and then falling apart when nobody was looking.
How many were lonely?
How many had lost their confidence?
How many had spent so much time looking after everybody else that they'd forgotten what it felt like to do something for themselves?
And that's when the idea for CHILLN N SPILLN started to take shape.
I didn't sit down one day with a big business plan and decide i was going to start a group. It was much more personal than that.
I wanted to create the kind of place i had needed myself. A place where you could turn up without having to prepare what you were going to say.
You could sit down with a cuppa.
You could have a moan about your week.
You could talk about something serious.
You could laugh at something completely rediculous.
Or you could just sit quietly and listen.
There didn't need to be an egenda for every emotion. Sometimes we just need somewhere to breathe. And that's what i wanted CHILLN N SPILLN to feel like
REAL
FRIENDLY
A BIT DAFT SOMETIMES
AND COMPLETELY WITHOUT JUDGEMENT
Because life isn't always deep conversations about Mental Health.
Sometimes Mental health support looks like getting a group of women together, having a coffee and laughing so hard that, for an hour, you completely forgot what's bothering you. Sometimes it's somebody noticing that you're quieter than usual. Sometimes it's the woman beside you saying something that makes you think, "OH MY GOD, IT'S NOT JUST ME". Sometimes it's leaving a meet up feeling lighter than when you went in.
These little moments matter. I know they matter because i know what it feels like when you don't have them. CHILLN N SPILLN has grown from that understanding. It isn't about me having all the answers. I've had my own struggles. I've had days where i've questioned myself and days where i wondered how i was going to get through what was in front of me.
I'm just a woman who went through something that changed her and decided that, rather than keep that experience to herself, she wanted to use it for something good. And perhaps that's the part that makes me feel emotional... because when i think back to myself in 2022, i don't think she could have imagined where that road was going to lead.
She was dealing with a Breast Cancer diagnosis.
She was trying to makes sense of her own emotions.
She was trying to keep going.
She didn't know that one day she would look around a room and see women laughing together because of something she started.
She didn't know that a simple idea would become a community.
She didn't know that something born out of such a difficult time could bring so much happiness.
But it did. And i'm incredibly proud of that.
I'm proud of every woman who has walked through the door.
I'm proud of the friendships that have come from it.
I'm proud of the laughter.
I'm proud of the conversations.
I'm proud of the moments when somebody has been brave enough to say that they are struggling.
I'm proud that CHILLN N SPILLN doesn't require anybody to pretend.. because i've done enough pretending in my own life to know how exhausting it can be.
I know what it feels like to smile when your mind is somewhere else. I know what it feels like to say "I'M FINE", because explaining the truth feels like too much effort. I know what it feels like to need a distraction, a laugh, a hug, a coffee and somebody who simply gets it.
That's why this group means so much to me.
It isn't something i created from a text book. It came from experience. It came from sitting with my own thoughts. It came from things i found difficult. And it came from wanting to make sure other women had somewhere to go when life felt a little too heavy.
I can't change the fact that i had Breast Cancer.
I can't rewrite 2022.
But i choose what i do with what happened to me. And this is what i have chosen.
I've chosen to turn a painful chapter into something that brings women together.
I've chosen LAUGHTER
I've chosen FRIENDSHIP
I've chosen CONVERSATION
I've chosen COMMUNITY
And every time i see women sitting together, laughing over a coffee, sharing something personal, or simply enjoying being around other people, i know why i started.
THIS IS THE PART OF MY STORY THAT I NEVER SAW COMING.
The diagnosis changed my life. The struggle with my Mental Health changed me. But CHILLN N SPILLN gave me something back.
It gave me a reason to take what i'd been through and make something meaningful from it. Something REAL. Something that belongs to ALL OF US. And if there is one thing i hope every woman who comes through our doors feels, it's this...
YOU DON'T HAVE TO ARRIVE WITH YOU LIFE SORTED.....JUST ARRIVE.
We'll take it from there. ❤️
Because sometimes the smallest things- a coffee, a conversation, a laugh, a walk, a hug- can become the thing you remember from a difficult day. And sometimes, without even realising it at first, you find YOUR PEOPLE.
THAT,S WHAT CHILLN N SPILLN BECAME FOR ME, it started with my darkest chapter....but it became one of the most meaningful things i've ever created. ❤️
