One Step Forward - formerly Sedgefield Bereavement Support Group

20/09/2026

Another helpful insight from author Gary Sturgis.

If you’ve been around here for a while, you’ve probably noticed there’s a phrase that doesn’t get much airtime in this community. It’s not banned or anything, but you won’t EVER see me use it.

“Moving on.”

I know people mean well when they say it. I really do. It’s usually offered with good intentions, maybe even a hopeful tone like, “Hey, you’re doing better. You’re moving on.” But if you’ve lived this kind of loss, you know there’s something about that phrase that just doesn’t sit right.

Because moving on sounds like leaving something behind.
And we’re not leaving them behind.

We’re still carrying the love, memories, and all the time we spent with them. We don’t just lose the person and then pack all that up in a box and label it “the past”. It’s not like a book we put on the shelf when we’re done reading it.

So no…around here, we don’t really do “moving on.”

Here’s the thing…I much prefer “moving forward”.

I know it sounds like semantics. A couple of words, what’s the big deal, right? But I think words matter when you’re grieving. Because moving forward doesn’t mean leaving them behind. It means learning how to carry them with you and figuring out how to take another step while still holding all that love.

Sometimes it means finding a way to laugh again without feeling like you’ve somehow betrayed them. And building a life that still has them woven into it, just in a different way than before.

And “moving forward” is about remembering something about them that makes you smile instead of fall apart.

So if anyone’s waiting for you to “move on,” you have my full permission to totally ignore that advice.

Because around here we’re not moving on, we’re moving forward.

With love in our hearts and memories in our pockets.

And with the people we’ve lost…still very much a part of who we are.

Gary Sturgis
Author: ‘SURVIVING GRIEF – 365 Days A Year’

20/09/2026

A useful reminder for us all.

What we see isn’t always the whole story.

When someone is grieving, it’s easy to assume we know how they’re coping based on what we can see.

They might be smiling, going to work, meeting friends or posting on social media. From the outside, life can appear to be carrying on as normal.

Often though, grief has a hidden side.

It can mean feeling numb, questioning everything, missing who you used to be, struggling on special days or simply trying to make sense of life after loss. Much of what someone is carrying remains beneath the surface.

That’s why I created The Grief Iceberg.

It isn’t a checklist or a model of grief. It’s simply a reminder that every person’s experience is different, and that much of grief goes unseen.

I’ve also written a new blog that explores why grief is often far more complex than it appears, and why there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

If you’d like to read more, you can find it here:

https://theempathictherapist.co.uk/2026/06/30/the-grief-iceberg-what-grief-looks-like-beneath-the-surface/

Affirmation of the day:
"I give myself permission to grieve in my own way, at my own pace." 💗

20/09/2026

Muddy Boots

I was talking to someone recently who shared the struggles she was having on the first anniversary of the death of her husband. She said it hurts more now than it did then, and she asked if that was “normal.” I explained that I do not believe there is a normal when it is regarding grief, because we each experience it so uniquely and the depth of ache we feel, varies from person to person. However, I said that yes, I too feel that sometimes the sadness worsens with time. I was of course only speaking for myself and what I have experienced from my own losses.

She told me that she felt stuck in the sadness. Later that day her words stayed with me, and I started to think about what that really meant, realizing that I myself have been there too so I get it. It feels like you are wrapped in something so tightly that while you are still able to move, to walk, to talk, to breathe, to eat, and to even laugh… you cannot peel off that feeling, which is stuck to you. It becomes a part of you, and it feels like you will never be able to walk through your life without that feeling of suffocation.

I have learned that saying things like, “it gets better with time,” is not helpful. That in fact, there really isn’t anything you can say that can take away the feelings of being stuck in the sadness. I called her that night, I told her how powerful her words were and that I wanted to help other people who feel exactly how she does. I asked her to share her feelings, all of them, so that together we can come up with some way to help others heal.

And what it came down to, is exactly what I have already been saying, which is listen. Listen to someone who is grieving and hear them… not with the intention to fix, but to truly honor their words and validate how they are feeling. And I think most of all, what is so important for us all to understand, is that we do not grieve the same way, and the struggle one person feels cannot be compared to another’s, therefore we need to honor their words, hear them, and respect that what they are going through is real and it is theirs.

I asked her how I could help her, what I could do or say that would let her know she was not alone, and that for however long it would take… I am here for her. This was her response, “you just helped me by saying that.” People want to be heard. People want to know that their feelings, regardless of how they differ from yours, will not be judged, questioned, or disrespected.

Grief is like a pair of muddy boots. The muddier they become, the harder it is to walk. That is what grief feels like. Grief is messy. Grief can be sticky and uncomfortable, and it can weigh so much that you feel like you are falling over a little bit each day from the weight of it all. And sadness… takes time to navigate, and people need to be allowed to take their time pushing through it. Your presence, your words, your being there to listen, and your willingness to meet them where they are, not where you think they should be… can help them to stand up straight again. Be patient with them. Be there for them.

One day, they (you) will be able to walk a little easier. The mud will eventually dry; it will still stay on the boots, but it won't weigh as much. But this will take time.

xo
Gabby

You can find this and all of my blogs on my website.

20/09/2026

Love this one 🫶🏻

little of me
everywhere

17/09/2026

📢 Grief in the news.

Grief, loss, and bereavement education is now mandatory in primary and secondary schools across England.

Anyone, at any age, can be impacted by grief. It is essential that bereavement education is mandatory in all schools.

We must support children and young people to deal with one of life’s most difficult challenges.

30/08/2026

A repost from PAPYRUS 🫶🏻

Today is National Grief Awareness Day.

Grief doesn't follow a script. Some days you laugh. Some days you can't say their name. Some days it hits you completely out of nowhere. Some days it feels a little easier. And some days it feels like the very beginning again.

However you are grieving, it is valid. There is no right way. 💜

26/08/2026

Hi folks,

Hope everyone’s well & you’ve had reason to smile over the course of the summer 🌞

Our sessions are starting up again next wk & we’re looking forward to catching up

**Meeting Dates**

• 3rd & 17th Sep
• ⁠1st & 15th Oct
• ⁠5th & 19th Nov
• ⁠3rd & 17th Dec

Hope to see you soon 🙂

love from the Listeners x

27/07/2026

**No Group Sessions - August ‘26**

Apologies for the inconvenience, but there will be no Meetings on our planned August dates (6th & 20th), due to lack of Listener availability I’m afraid.

We’ll reconvene as planned on Thursday 3rd September 🙂

Look after yourselves & one another,

From S, J, E & B
x

20/05/2026

Lovely sentiment shared by one of the group 🤗

26/04/2026

When you think of me—
don’t stop at the ending.

Don’t replay the last days,
the hospital rooms,
the goodbyes that were never long enough.
That’s not the whole story.

Remember the way we laughed until we couldn’t breathe.
The stupid inside jokes.
The times I showed up for you when nobody else did.
The way I said your name.
The way we were just… us.

When you think of me,
don’t turn it into pain you carry like a punishment.
I don’t live in your grief.
I live in the pieces of you I helped shape—
the strength, the love, the spark you still have.

When you tell my stories, don’t whisper.
Say them out loud.
Laugh. Cry. Swear if you need to.
Let me still exist in your world,
not just in the quiet parts of your heart.

And when you wonder if I’m still with you—
I am.
Not in some grand, glowing way.
But in the small things.
The sudden calm that steadies you.
The warmth that shows up out of nowhere.
The way something ordinary suddenly feels familiar.

That’s me.
Still proud of you.
Still watching.
Still here,
every time you think of me.

Written by: Aimee Suyko - In Their Footsteps

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