Scandal 263

02/04/2026

Benjani’s Cold War at Highlanders

Highlanders FC might have thought they were appointing a coach; turns out they may have accidentally signed up for a full-blown reality show.

In a press conference that felt less like a football briefing and more like an episode of “Survivor: Boardroom Edition,” Benjani Mwaruwari casually lobbed a gr***de into the room, confessing he has been 'working in difficult conditions' where, by his own telling, he is about as welcome as a referee in a losing home game.

Full story in comment section

Photo by Tom Flathers/Manchester City FC via Getty Images)

02/04/2026

Zimbabwean Government Finally Notices Fuel Is Expensive

In a plot twist worthy of an April calendar, the Zimbabwean government has suddenly discovered that fuel was, in fact, expensive all along and has heroically decided to do something about it starting 3 April.

Finance Minister Mthuli Ncube, in a statement that arrived just a day after the world celebrated pranks, announced that a generous US$0.54 worth of taxes per litre will vanish into thin air. Among the dearly departed are excise duty, the ZINARA levy, carbon tax and the ever-mysterious 'strategic reserve levy'; all of which had been quietly inflating diesel prices like an overenthusiastic birthday balloon.

Full story in comment section

Pic source: NewsDay

Commuter omnibus driver filing up at one of the service stations in Harare

01/04/2026

One Drink, One Hookup, One ICU

A routine night out has delivered anything but routine results after a 34-year-old Stoneridge Park man discovered that drinks and instant romance can come with unexpected side effects.

Godwill Murindi, 34, is now battling for his life in hospital following a violent altercation reportedly sparked by a dispute over a woman he had met just hours earlier at Jimmalo Bar in Amsterdam Park, Waterfalls. What began as a casual meet-and-drink session quickly upgraded itself into a full-blown crisis proving that in some nightlife circles 'getting to know someone' may require more than just buying a round.

Picture Source: The Herald

01/04/2026

Chivayo Declares Custody Crisis… Two Years After the Fact

In a plot twist that has left urgency itself slightly confused, businessman Wicknell Munoda Chivayo has rushed to court only about two years after separating from his estranged wife, Sonja Louise Madzikanda.

The high-stakes custody saga now playing out at the High Court features Madzikanda firmly opposing Chivayo’s 'urgent' application to access their two minor children. Her argument?
The case is about as urgent as a forgotten New Year’s resolution: delayed, dust-covered and conveniently revived.

Picture source: TRT Afrika English

31/03/2026

Speak Now, Disappear Later

Public consultations, often marketed as a celebration of democracy took a darker turn in Zimbabwe this week where speaking out appears to come with an unexpected ‘after-meeting package.’

Denford Sithole, a youth activist aligned with the Defend the Constitution Platform (DCP) reportedly vanished shortly after doing exactly what citizens are encouraged to do at public hearings - participate. His submission at Nketa Hall, which firmly rejected the proposed Constitutional Amendment Bill No. 3 may have been noted… perhaps a little too efficiently.

Full story in comment section

, ,

28/03/2026

April Fools’ Pay Rise: Mnangagwa Delivers the Joke

President Emmerson Mnangagwa’s government has miraculously found its wallet and its urgency just as nurses threaten a nationwide strike. In a stroke of impeccable timing, civil servants are promised a salary adjustment effective April 1, a date globally celebrated for jokes, pranks, and apparently 'fiscal commitments'.

After months of insisting patience is a virtue, the government now assures workers that relief is not only coming, but arriving on the one day guaranteed to inspire absolute confidence. Nurses, of course, are expected to take this seriously because nothing says 'we mean business' quite like announcing long-awaited pay reforms on April Fools’ Day.

Full story in comment section
Pic Credits: . EPA-EFE/AARON UFUMELI

27/03/2026

Man arrested in Nyanga, for planting ‘ganja’ or mbanje, commonly known as ma*****na

26/03/2026

Good News Zimbabwe: Hoarding Cash is Apparently a 'Human Right'

Finance Minister Mthuli Ncube told Parliament on Wednesday that it is apparently not illegal for Zimbabweans to walk around with piles of cash. Yes, you read that right: counting your millions at home is perfectly lawful.

The clarification comes after years of public debate, confusion and whispers of 'illegal cash' lurking in every corner. Citizens can now breathe a sigh of relief knowing they can continue to hoard their wealth without fear of a knock on the door because clearly the government’s main concern has always been whether your mattress is money-proof😂😂. More in comment section

Source: Nehanda Radio
Picture via Facebook – Sir Wicknell

26/03/2026

Masaraure Accuses Mthuli Ncube of 'Economic Genocide' Over Civil Servants’ Salaries

Outspoken teachers’ union leader Obert Masaraure has launched a blistering attack on Finance Minister Mthuli Ncube, accusing him of “economic genocide” against civil servants over the government’s failure to adjust salaries in line with the rising cost of living.

In his remarks, Masaraure said the government’s wage policies were systematically impoverishing workers, leaving teachers and other civil servants unable to afford basic necessities. He argued that the erosion of salaries amid soaring prices was not just an economic issue, but a deliberate assault on livelihoods. Full video in comments section

Pic credits:

26/03/2026

Community Development Funds to Groceries, Booze and Beds

Zimbabwe Anti-Corruption Commission has arrested Joel Sithole, a ZANU PF legislator, for allegedly turning public funds into a highly personalised development project, himself🥺.

Sithole, the MP for Chiredzi South, reportedly received over ZWG1.2 million from the Constituency Development Fund in August 2025 presumably to build classrooms and improve community infrastructure. Instead, investigators say he took a more immediate approach to ‘development’ focusing on boosting the local grocery, hospitality and beverage sectors; one purchase at a time.

Authorities allege that as chairperson of the CDF committee and a signatory to its account, Sithole demonstrated impressive efficiency in redirecting funds toward essentials such as groceries, alcohol and hotel stays because nothing says “community upliftment” quite like a well-stocked fridge and a comfortable room🤣🤣.

Source: NewZimbabwe
Pic credits: NewsDay

25/03/2026

Love, Loss & Luxury: The $25 Million Divorce Budget

Zimbabwe’s High Court has been turned into a VIP divorce lounge, courtesy of Wicknell Chivayo and Sonja Madzikanda.

Chivayo wants access to his kids. Sonja wants US$25 million, US$40k a month and a casual US$1 million a year for holidays because heartbreak apparently is best treated in first class🤷‍♀️.

Custody is contested, millions are flying and somewhere in between the children are now part of Zimbabwe’s most expensive negotiation.
At this point, it is less a divorce and more of a budget statement with emotions.

Source NewZimbabwe

25/03/2026

ZANU PF ‘Wins’ Referendum Before It Happens

The ruling party, ZANU PF has bravely announced that it fears absolutely nothing, least of all a referendum, democracy or the awkward memory of how these things usually go.

With Zimbabwe heading into public hearings on the Constitutional Amendment No. 3 Bill, the ruling party is already radiating the calm confidence of a team that has seen the final score before kickoff.

Party officials insist there is simply no scenario in which they lose, an impressive level of certainty that would make even fortune tellers blush. Voters may show up, ballots may be cast and results may be announced, but everyone understands their roles in this long-running national tradition.

After all, when you have been perfecting the art of “winning” since 1980, why start doubting yourself now?



Source: NewsDay
Pic Credits: Bulawayo24 News