Ruskington Walking Football Club

27/05/2026

Sorry guys, there is no write up tonight as the media admin is away watching Crystal Palace win the Europa Conference League (I haven’t gone to Leipzig, I’m in much sunnier climates- Newark).

I could do a write up on the Palace game, but there’s not an awful lot to write about, unlike the referee’s report, which will have a lot of paper work due to his over excited yellow card habit!

Enjoy the lovely weather and see you next week!

20/05/2026

MEDIC!

We could’ve really done with an ambulance tonight, as 14 players attended on an incident packed night, with a friendly on the horizon.

Reds:
Curbs- I’d like to start this report by thanking both Curbs and Mick A for their coaching efforts tonight. Having to prepare for Saturday’s friendly, the red team consisted of the players who will be in the team on Saturday, and the focus was on them playing together as a team. It was a fantastic watch, so thank you!
Haydn- After a torrid week last week, Haydn was determined to redeem himself for his weak efforts- which he did, until a recurring back injury finished his night early. We all wish him a speedy recovery! And no, he didn’t get lost in the graveyard when fetching the ball!
Terry- No this isn’t a typo- Terry Bourne was back! On an injury-induced phased return, Terry played the first half, and he took him a mere 2 minutes before he claimed “you can’t teach that” after a delicious pass. Was fantastic having you back tonight Terry!
Stu- If tonight was an audition to be picked for Sunday, Stu would definitely be through to boot camp! A brilliant display down the wing helped his team on many an occasion, meaning the omens are in his favour for Sunday’s match!
Rob- I’d like to first of all mention how well Rob played tonight, yet an incident in the first half will be all that Rob is remembered for tonight. A 10 second spell of rage overtook the player, and he booted a ball over the goal, which was accompanied by a scream… 24 hour supervision needed on him.
Steve C- Another moment of rage happened deep into the second half- after last week’s antics, this didn’t come as a surprise. Steve “took a shot” that went into the nearest graveyard… maybe there’s a deeper meaning behind this. We’ll never know.
Darren- Our talisman needs to be in good form for Sunday, and if tonight’s anything to go off, I think we’re in good hands! Top class finishing, which may have been to do with his extra training with a certain other walking football team!

Greens:
Jay- A man that went through the wars tonight was Jay! Studs down the shin, stamp on the foot, ball to the face… whether these incidents were intentional or not is another question, but the recipient will certainly be sore tomorrow morning…
Mick A- As mentioned earlier, Mick spent a lot of tonight coaching. When he wasn’t doing so, he was putting the reds under immense pressure on the ball, then setting up Steve B on the attack! A busy night for our coach!
Paul- Being blinded by the sun, Paul had many opportunities to score tonight, all going begging. Either the sun was to blame, or the fact his mortal enemy was on his team… that of course being Michelle! They didn’t fall out and I’m sure I saw them pass to each other once, so maybe it’s water under the bridge.
Michelle- Speaking of which, Michelle had a superb game, perhaps showing what RWFC will be missing on Saturday, that being hold up play, strong tackling, and an attack on Darren!
Steve B- Some cheeky flicks and smart finishing sums up Steve B’s night quite well. However, maybe there was less pressure on his shoulders with his dad not in attendance, due to a bowls match. If that is the case, I doubt Terry will be invited back!
Ade- Another player without a certain family member in attendance was Ade! With Colin not playing tonight (get well soon Col), Ade had to do his family proud, and it’s fair to say he did! When Terry B went home, and Haydn went off injured, Ade joined the reds and brought them some attacking flair that they were missing!
Dave H- And tonight’s POTM is Dave H. His outfield play was superb, but then he kindly volunteered to go in goal, and he was superb, even though he was being peppered by the opposition. So tonight’s player of the match, Dave H!

And that, as they say, is that! If you’d like to join our ever-growing club, please do! We train every Wednesday night, 7:30-8:30, Sleaford Better Gym!

14/05/2026

MISBEHAVING MISCREANTS

We didn’t have a referee tonight, which meant the RWFC players were at large with no one to tell them no… I think you can see where this is going…

Attendance- Goal of the night was actually scored by our number one fan Terry! A first time shot curled past… no one in goal as we were just warming up, but it was a neat finish nonetheless!

Greens:
Cary- Cary will feel robbed, as he made some superb saves tonight, denying the likes of Dave B and Haydn alike. He had a lot of issues against the in form strikers, and he came up with some wonder saves to deny them- yet he somehow didn’t win save of the night!
Michelle- With no referee, Michelle had the world at her feet (which were moving very quickly). She blamed the fact that the opposition had longer legs than her. Either way, the greens seemed to play through her on the wing, which was a role she took to brilliantly!
Mick A- Our coach was in command at the back with Colin, a centre back pairing we didn’t know we were missing! It was a joy to watch for many different reasons, and he even had the trust in Colin to move forward and link up with Steve B!
Steve B- Speaking of which, Steve B appeared to have both his shooting and passing boots on, as he came up with some brilliant assists throughout the night- maybe he was making up for the fact his dad beat him to goal of the night!
Stu- Stu had a very solid night, yet he had Haydn and Jon as opposition- the mind game experts! It appeared to affect him, as he made a strange pass back to Cary, that hit both posts, yet didn’t go in… rent free Stu!
Colin- A big welcome back to Colin, who was dusting off the old boots to take to the pitch again. He made a superb pass in the first half from deep, and continued his fine run of form throughout. Welcome back Col!
Darren- Is it any surprise that Darren was the worst for misbehaving? Running, contact, fouling, going in the box- if we had Shirl or Ali here, he would’ve been sent off many times. When he wasn’t running, his finishing was on top form! However, I hope he’s on the naughty step now.
Dave H- Tonight we have two POTM, the first being Dave H! He had a superb game last week, and he was even better this week. He was getting stuck into tackles, defending well (without fouling MOST of the time) and playing good football with the strikers. Brilliant again Dave! Tonight’s first player of the match, Dave H!

Blues:
Jon- Jon had a solid game tonight, both out of goal and between the sticks, and as mentioned before, his mind games accompanied by Haydn was enough to put his opponents off… maybe even himself, as one of his shots went out for a throw in.
Rob- Tonight’s save of the night comes from Rob Tidy! Steve B’s shot was curling to the top corner, had it not been for Rob’s outstretching hand that pushed it over the bar- as you can imagine, Steve took it very well!
Haydn- Goalkeeping isn’t Haydn’s forte, but his shooting… wasn’t great either. Luckily he made up for it with his passing… actually no that wasn’t too good… at least he turned up??
Ade- It feels like ages since we saw Adey take to the field, and he was superb tonight. His legendary battle against Michelle lived up to its name, and his wisdom even helped pick tonight’s POTM! Well played Ade!
Paul- Paul had a solid night of football, yet he had something else on his mind- Michelle! During the warm up, Michelle booted a ball at Paul’s leg when he had his back turned… she was apologetic, but Paul didn’t take too lightly to it. So in the second half, Paul “tried to play a pass down the wing”, which hit his arch nemesis in the stomach… more on that as we get it!
Dave B- Another great week for our newbie, who was the lone striker for most of the game, against the monster that is Mick A! He beat his opponent on plenty of occasions and scored goal after goal… like I said last week, we’ve got a serious player on our hands!
Steve C- Steve C was a nominee for POTM tonight, mainly because of his performance in goal! However his highlight came in the dying seconds, where it seemed his patience with Darren’s running had worn thin, and he maliciously grabbed the striker to keep him from the ball! Rule of this week’s session- don’t mess with Steve C!
Jay- And last but certainly not least, we come to our second POTM, Jay! Nominated by Ade, Jay had a superb game, and he even put his hand up at one point and admitted he was running- I’m not sure what Mrs Hirst has said over the past week, but his behaviour has certainly improved! Tonight’s second player of the match, Jay!

And that is that! A brilliant week full of good football and good vibes. If you’d like to join us, please do! A reminder we now train at 7.30-8.30, every Wednesday night, Carres Grammar AstroTurf!

07/05/2026

SHOULD’VE GONE TO SPECSAVERS

It’s clear that a certain member of our squad needs a new pair of glasses, during an action packed night of football, that saw some great saves and some great blunders!

Referee- we start with our referee tonight, Shirl. We’d all like to thank Shirl for keeping us in check- even Darren, who got to know Shirl very well last night…

Whites:
Gary- Our very own cat is tonight’s POTM, and there can be no complaints (apart from Haydn), as he made THREE saves of the nights, as well as having an all round fantastic game. So tonight’s player of the match, Gary the cat!
Dave T- The whites may as well have been named “team Dave”. We start with Dave T, a veteran when it comes to walking football, but a newbie in our team. He certainly showed his experience in defence, cutting out anything that came his way!
Dave H- Onto our longest serving Dave, Dave H! If it wasn’t for the cat-like reflexes of Gary, Dave would’ve certainly been in contention for POTM, as he played his best game to date! It started with a great battle against his gym buddy Michelle (he came out of it alive). Then for some respite, he switched sides and was up against her son, in which he also came out on top! Brilliant Dave!
Dave B- And now onto our newest Dave, Dave B! It’s clear Dave B has played some form of football before, as his touches and ball control was something I’ve never seen the like- he also do a roulette at one point! I think we’ve got a serious player on our hands! Welcome Dave!
Jon- Jon has clearly been at shooting practice. Now this being said, it’s hard to kick the ball over the fence at our new venue. However, I don’t think it would’ve been an issue for Jon tonight, as his powerful left foot tested our new keeper on multiple occasions! And yes, he was in Haydn’s head as per!
Curbs- Off the pitch, our chairman has done some superb work to further our team, and I’d like to give a personal thank you to him for everything he does. He continued his hard work on the pitch, keeping Sunny in his back pocket throughout, which is no mean feat!
Darren- Darren and Steve B linked up really well last night, despite Darren having two players on him at all times- which just shows his danger. However, Darren’s biggest thorn in his side was Shirl, who took exception to his rather fast walk… yes of course he was running, but he’s not used to strict refereeing at training!
Steve B- Steve B was at his best tonight, with some delicate little flicks and superb finishing, despite not feeling 100%. However, the red mist descended and he brutally attacked Rob, sending him to the ground!!! Okay they bumped into each other, but it was still Rob who came out the worse!
Jay- Jay was back on the pitch, after a few weeks out due to injury. With Gary in goal, he was able to spend the entire game outfield, which meant he could annoy the likes of Haydn close up! He played some great football with Steve B, and got a couple of goals to boot too!

Reds:
Cary- Another welcome is in order, for Cary! Cary is a goalkeeper, and he had his work cut out for him last night, having to keep Steve B’s powerful left footed shots out of his net, which he did superbly- even once with his face! Welcome Cary and well played!
Michelle- Another vastly improving player is Michelle! Her link ups with Sunny and Haydn set the reds on their way, and she got stuck in with Dave H, showing who the king/queen of the gym classes really is!
Haydn- Haydn had a very frustrating night. Despite scoring twice, he was denied his hattrick thanks to Gary the cat… however, in the second half, after discussing his specsavers appointment, he showed off to everyone why he his getting his eyes tested, as he couldn’t hit a barn door!
Sunny- Goal of the night belongs to Sunny. All night he had Curbs on his back, not allowing him to turn and shoot. But he got the better of his counterpart, and swung a superb shot past the keeper and Curbs. A sigh of relief was certainly had after that!
Stu- Stu had a solid night, but his highlight (or lowlight) came in the second half, where he took a shot that I’m fairly sure went out for a throw in… he blamed it on the fact there was another goal on the side of the pitch to aim at… nice try mate!
Paul- What a night Paul had! He got stuck into tackles, played some beautiful passes, and tried so hard that his “knee went”. I think he was having us on, as two minutes later he set up Stu for a chance… excuses excuses.
Steve C- For the last two weeks, Steve C scored the first goal of the night. Last week he backed it up with played a blinder… this week he came off the pitch and was fairly critical of his performance. I think he was being harsh on himself, but he’s probably more focused on scoring next week’s first goal of the night too. Looking onwards and upwards.
Rob- Rob had a great battle against Steve B. He got knocked over, got a kick to his foot when blocking a shot, he even had some great dribbling through the middle- and all this without his inhaler! Heroic stuff!
Ian M- The reds played out from the back quite a lot, and everything went through Ian M, and I mean everything! He was pivotal in the reds success up front, and he is certainly becoming one of RWFC’s most consistent players! Well played Ian.

And that is that! The write ups will more than likely come every THURSDAY, as due to the change in training times, the media admin has a bed time he needs to get to!

If you’d like to join us, please do! We now play every Wednesday night, 7:30-8:30, Carres Grammar Astroturf!

22/04/2026

7-ASIDE CARNAGE

A very busy training took place tonight, which saw a certain someone’s fine list get very expensive, a familiar face, and some sublime football.

Attendance- Tonight’s POTM is actually not a player, but someone who was kept very busy tonight, and that’s our number one fan Terry! We thought we’d treat him to his first ever POTM, as he was on EVERY ball that got kicked over the fence! So tonight’s player of the match, Terry!

Referee- Nursing an injury, Jay stepped in to officiate the reprobates, and what a job he did! Despite trying to disallow every goal for offside (which isn’t a rule in walking football), he did keep us all in check, so thank you Jay!

Greens:
Ian M- Off the back of Sunday’s match, Ian carried on his top run of form, playing some delicious football with his team, as well as making the save of the night, by catching a fizzer of a shot, as if butter wouldn’t melt!
Steve B- Some great passing from Steve B rounded off a superb night for our talisman. His delicate touches and top finishing saw his team thrive!
Steve C- Steve C had a brilliant night. He volunteered to go in goal first, where he kept a clean sheet. Then he came out of goal and toe poked his way onto the scoresheet. Brilliant Steve!
Michelle- For the greens, everything seemed to go through Michelle. Her hold up play allowed the greens to run off her, which was crucial for the greens attack. And she even got in the way of a great shot by her son Haydn… In unrelated news, Haydn’s looking for a place to stay tonight!
Stu- The team’s Mickey Mouse was in good form, volunteering to go in goal again, but what stood out was his teamwork with Lee and Steve B alike. It would’ve been the perfect night if he had his favourable glove…
Lee- Lee was back, and he showed us exactly what we have missed recently. His ball control and passing was superb, but it took him a while to find the goal. Once he did, the floodgates were open! Welcome back Lee!
Ade- Ade was the blue’s worst enemy tonight, which usually means that he played very well!It seemed every pass was intercepted by his long legs, which highlighted his superb night!

Blues:
Curbs- Our chairman has had a busy week organising a potential venue change- and his week didn’t get any easier tonight, having to keep Steve B quiet, which he did brilliantly. Well done Curbs!
Rob- Rob has really shown his versatility when it comes to walking football, as he puts in a 10/10 performance in whatever position he plays! Tonight he was more defensive, which played well into blue’s hands, as he was cutting out anything that came his way! However, he does owe us a new ball, after leathering a clearance onto the roof!
Haydn- If you hadn’t already guessed, it was Haydn’s fine list that is going up tonight- a record 3 times he kicked the ball over, but none of them ended up on the roof, unlike a certain someone!
Sunny- After a LONG time out, Sunny was back! It took him a while to get into the game as he, and I quote, “forgot how to play”. He got his feet on the right legs, and scored tonight’s goal of the night, volleying an effort past Ian M… however, the goal of the night award is a very contentious one…
Darren- Darren and Sunny’s link up play was a sight to behold. Had it not been for the two of them needing a bit of shooting practice, the blues may have been quite unstoppable. Well played Darren!
Colin- One of the best nights for Colin, as he impressed in his defensive position, and even started played first time passes to his teammates- showing off in my opinion!
Jon- Now here is the controversy concerning goal of the night. Jon scooped a superb effort into the top corner, yet Jay said that before it hit the back of the net, the ball went over height. Jay’s a rookie when it comes to refereeing, but he robbed Jon of yet another goal of the night… sleep with one eye open Jay!

As mentioned earlier, Curbs has been working hard to get our venue changed to accommodate to our growing numbers. From next week, our training session will be on Wednesday, at Carres Grammar Astroturf, and will be 7:30-8:30. See you there!

21/04/2026

Congratulations to Lincoln City FC on their incredible league winning season. I’m sure there will be a few sore heads at training tomorrow 🤕

🤩 A season to remember!

🏆 Sky Bet League One champions.

19/04/2026

This morning, RWFC played a friendly against Sleaford Accies. It was a well fought contest, and some good experience for our team! We’d like to thank the Accies for playing, and Carres Grammar for hosting!

15/04/2026

COLOURFUL SKIES AND COLOURFUL LANGUAGE.

The players got wet despite the sun blinding the teams, as RWFC met for another training session, which saw a double rainbow make an appearance!

I’d like to apologise for the lack of write ups in the last two weeks. Last week, RWFC called a EGM, and the media admin may have had one too many fruit shoots. We’d like to thank the shoulder of mutton for hosting as always, and thank you to everyone who attended!

Blues:
Curbs- Curbs did his best impression of Baloo from Jungle Book, as he started to rub his back on the goal post, despite the ball being in play… no, we’re not lying. He was also very helpful when it came to coaching, preparing the team for a friendly match on Sunday… keep your eyes peeled!
Mick A- Another coach for the team was Mick, who was getting the team prepared by playing high intensity football, and keeping the opposition under great pressure. Well played Mick!
Ade- Last week, Colin felt Mick A’s wrath… this week, it was Ade’s turn! A lot of pressure was put on our nearly new member, but he was definitely up for the challenge, creating and scoring some superb chances.
Jon- Another goal of the night from Jon, who picked up the ball on the right hand side, and curled it into the near post to beat Stu! He’s picking up some goal scoring form!
Jay- Jay had a very busy night, scoring a couple in the first third, saving EVERYTHING in the second third, and defending for his life in the final third. He’ll certainly sleep well tonight!

Greens:
Haydn- Our youngster is top of the “fines” table, adding another pound to the pot tonight, after blasting a shot towards the A15. He had a decent spell in goal however, and had some great link up play with Steve B.
Steve B- Our talisman was on fine form tonight, with some cheeky little flicks, superb finishing, and doing all of that while coaching the team to prepare for Sunday’s friendly!
Ian M- Another player in form is Ian M, who has got some great chemistry with the team. His audition for Sunday’s game was a successful one, and we’re looking forward to seeing him in RWFC colours!
Colin- A contender for tonight’s POTM is definitely Colin. He had players such as Mick A and Jay pocketed, while creating some clear cut chances for his team, and himself! Brilliant Col!
Stu- But tonight’s player of the match is Stu! Yes he played well outfield, but what stood out was his goalkeeping. As some of you may know, Stu plays his football with a slight disadvantage. However, this did not bring him down, as he stuck a Mickey Mouse glove on his hand (a very Disney themed night I’ve noticed), and stopped EVERYTHING that came his way. So tonight’s POTM, Stu!

And that’s that! Keep your eye out for Sunday’s friendly, and if you’d like to join us, please do! We play every Wednesday night, 7-8, Sleaford Better Gym!

01/04/2026

WORLD CUP HOPEFULS

If you hadn’t figured out, earlier’s post was an April Fools joke. However, after the quality of football on show tonight, Tuchel might be giving us a call to poach some players!

Blues:
Ian M- An impressive night from Ian M, who scored one of the goals of the night- a first time strike into the top bins rounded off a solid night, where he played in literally every position!
Michelle- Michelle will sleep well tonight. Not only did she run (sometimes literally) her socks off, continuing her lethal battle against Ade, but she also scored… against her own son! A definite contender for player of the match.
Dave- What a return Dave had! After a few weeks out due to injury, Dave was back and as dangerous as ever! He even had a go in goal… let’s just say Pickford’s place in the England squad is safe from Dave…
Lee- Another return to training was Lee, who played as if he’d never left. As mentioned before, Lee has clearly played football before, yet he admitted that walking football is completely different. Nevertheless, he has fitted in well to the squad, as shown tonight by his teamwork and agility!
Steve C- Yet another return tonight was Steve C! Steve has been suffering with an injury for a while, so when his knee twinged again after his first shot, alarm bells were ringing. However, he dusted himself off and played a blinder, scoring some fantastic goals, and even playing goalkeeper!

Whites:
Curbs- Our windup merchant got his just desserts tonight. After tricking the opposition goalkeeper into passing to him, Curbs had a free shot on goal… unfortunately, he got a bit too excited, and leathered the ball over the fence. Oh how we laughed!
Colin- Either Colin has been doing some extra training, or he put in 110% tonight, as at the end of the session, he was blowing! I’d go for the latter, as he showed a lot of fight, especially against his pal Mick A! Well played Col!
Stu- Stu and Steve B have been friends for a while, and that chemistry showed on the pitch tonight, with the two linking up really well across the pitch. However, like Dave, I don’t think Pickford will be worried about Stu taking his place…
Jon- Jon was in Haydn’s head from the first minute… however, he will be in everyone’s head tonight after scoring two absolute belters! Picking the ball up on the left hand side, Jon smashed the ball past Ade, twice in two minutes! If it wasn’t for his teammate, he would’ve definitely got goal of the night!
Steve B- Steve B returned to training with the goal of the night. A few twists and turns sent the defenders packing, which left Steve B to slot the ball home superbly. This summed up a great night for our talisman!

Greens:
Haydn- After conceding a goal against his mum, Haydn had to pick himself up, and that he did. Linking up well with Mick A and Jay, Haydn got a couple of goals himself tonight, to quiet his haters (that being Jon of course).
Mick A- A clean sheet, a solo goal, defensively solid, is there anything Mick A can’t do? Apparently not, as he even refereed well tonight. Another contender for POTM, had it not been for another green player…
Jay- Jay managed not to kick anyone or be kicked himself… mainly because Darren wasn’t there tonight. He even wore shin pads just in case! Jokes aside, Jay had a tough job of keeping Steve B quiet, whilst also attacking for his side. This was a job he did superbly. Well played Jay!
Ade- I’m not sure what Ade has had for breakfast over the last 3 weeks, but the man can’t stop scoring! He got a hattrick in one game, which was the highlight of his incredible night and carried on his superb form! Well done Ade!
Paul- And onto our player of the match, and our patron, Paul! Last week he had a stinker… he fell over and missed a penalty! Tonight, he was out for redemption… and that he got! He scored a brilliant goal, and helped his team in all different aspects of the game. So tonight’s POTM, Paul!

And that is that! If you’d like to try out for the England squad (alright I’ll stop with the jokes now), then please do! We play every Wednesday night, 7-8, Sleaford Better Gym.

01/04/2026

We are pleased to announce that due to England’s poor performance over the last two friendlies, Thomas Tuchel has called up the Ruskington Walking Football Club squad to play in the 2026 World Cup instead! We are thrilled with this opportunity and can’t wait to bring football home!🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿