22/09/2026
Chapter2 Founder, Dr Rich Kay, reflects on how boys become good men.
My father taught me how to skim a stone, and I in turn, have taught my son. I like to think the craft has been bestowed on me and will be bestowed for many generations of my kin to come.
Those that have tried to skim a stone will know there is a process to learn. One doesn’t just walk up to a lake, pick up a random stone, hurl it into the lake to watch it merely dance across the surface of the lake. The is a skill to skimming a stone that needs to be demonstrated, ideally by the rough hands of an experienced skimmer.
How to choose the perfect stone is the first skill to learn, flat, smooth, circular and not too heavy or too light. Then there is the knowhow of what conditions to look for; a calm mirror-like reflection is enough to excite any seasoned skimmer. And most importantly, there is a technique to be taught; the angle that the stone hits the water, the ideal rotation and speed of the stone.
It is a metaphor for how a boy becomes a good man. He needs to be shown how. How to treat women with respect, how to respond calmly in moments of crisis and how to manage the testosterone fuelled anger that can simmer within. Such crafts can not be learnt from books or TikTok. They need the close proximity of good men that can show them how. Such crafts are bestowed.
And what wonderful motivation for fathers. That when we model good character and make wise choices for our sons to model, that such craft will continue to be passed down for generations to come. With each generation becoming a slightly better ‘skimmer’ than the generation before. It feels me with hope to think that we can set our sons and grandsons on a trajectory towards becoming better men than we are. Could that be one of the primary callings on all fathers? To inspire and guide their son towards being a better man than them?
At Chapter2 we believe every boy needs a good man to guide him to adulthood. We are a Berkshire-based mentoring charity providing long-term male mentors for fatherless boys. Help us write hope into the fatherless story. Become a mentor today.