14/06/2026
To round up Carer's Week, Ruth, who attends our 'Care for Carers' lived experience group, has shared her story as an unpaid carer. đź’ś
Ruth lives with her husband, her daughter, and her adult son. Her son’s fiancée doesn’t live with them full time but stays for a few days every couple of weeks. Despite not always being there, Ruth sees her as part of the family, saying, “we are all a team and we all care for each other.”
Her daughter’s fiancé also stays from time to time. He supports both Ruth’s daughter and the wider family when needed, often helping with technical issues, as Ruth puts it, “he is our family techy.” The whole family spend time together and even go on holidays as a group, reinforcing their strong bond.
With several members of the family having support needs, caring is part of everyday life in their home. Ruth describes it as a shared effort, where everyone steps in to support one another in different ways.
But she is honest about how it really feels: “It’s exhausting. It’s hard work, and you never know what’s going to happen next.”
For Ruth, caring isn’t something she chose as a role it’s simply part of her life. She believes many people feel the same and don’t always recognise themselves as carers.
She explains: “People just get on with it, but you need to know when you need help. If you don’t get a break, you’ll get to a point where you can’t do it anymore.”
The family also found the move from children’s to adult services difficult. Sudden changes, new systems, and less joined-up support meant they had to adapt quickly, adding extra pressure.
What matters to Ruth:
- Keeping her family together
- Knowing everyone is safe and supported
- Having a bit of time to herself
Ruth is also part of the Middlesbrough Care for Carers Group, a co-production group working with people with lived experience, the Pioneering Care Partnership (P*P), and Middlesbrough Adult Social Care. Together, they are helping to improve services by sharing real experiences and shaping changes that matter.
Even though it can be overwhelming, Ruth and her family continue to support each other every day, because, as she says, “we are all a team.”
