12/06/2026
The truth is...
Behind that post yesterday announcing that we have now supported 100 families, was a broken mum, lost in the depths of her own grief. 💔
Yesterday was a hard day. Grief got me. Bad.
It started out ok. I did the usual chores etc and then found myself looking through photos of Elsie, which I sometimes do. But this time, a wave came over me, and that was it.
Before I knew it, I was in one of the darkest places and struggling to find a way back out. All while still trying to parent, when I say bad.. I mean it!
I went to my sister's, which helped a little. She's my rock ❤️. She washed and blow-dried my hair because I was supposed to be going out with work for an awards night.
When I left, I still felt drained, but I thought I could do it. I thought I could put on my brave face and be "me" for a few hours.. I wanted that!
But the moment I opened my front door, everything fell apart.
I stood there and realised I couldn't do it. I couldn't face going out. I couldn't pretend I was ok when I wasn't. So I cancelled my plans and let the grief take over.
And if I'm honest, I'm angry.
I'm angry that grief got me yesterday, of all days!!
I'm angry that this is my reality forever. That I never know when the waves are going to come, how hard they're going to hit, or how long they're going to keep me under.
Losing a child doesn't get easier. You don't move on. You simply learn to live alongside the pain. Most days I manage. Most days I smile, work, parent, and keep going.
But some days grief reminds me who's really in charge.
Yesterday was one of those days.
There was nothing that was going to pull me out of it, so eventually I stopped fighting it. I stopped trying to be strong. I stopped trying to fix it.
I just let myself grieve.
Because the truth is, grief is love with nowhere to go and I love you Elsie 💖😭.
