30/07/2026
Match Report: Finghall vs. The Dalesman Singles Knockout Tournament (29 July 2026)
The Situation: Taking full advantage of a bye week in the league calendar, Queens Head Finghall hosted a special 16-player singles knockout tournament, welcoming our neighbors from Leyburn—The Dalesman Quoits Club—for a proper Wednesday night showdown.
With the two teams playing in different leagues, this was a historic first meeting between the sides. Running a classic 16-player format—eight opening-round fixtures leading straight into Quarter Finals, Semi Finals, and the grand Final—we went into the evening blind and blissfully unaware of what was about to hit us.
As it turned out, what we should have expected was a total, unvarnished masterclass on how to play quoits! The Dalesman brought a level of experience and laser accuracy usually reserved for specialized surgery, leaving Finghall's finest looking on in stunned awe as their defensive clay walls turned the pits into a fortress.
The Battle for the Crown
Despite getting a proper lesson in the finer arts of the game, the Finghall squad dug deep, traded plenty of banter, and produced some brilliant moments of high-caliber throwing throughout the evening:
Simon "The Lunchbox" was the absolute star of the night for Finghall, marching all the way into the Semi Finals! His tournament highlight came in the Quarters, where he squared off against teammate Craig "Thor's Hammer" in a thrilling, highly entertaining club derby before taking the ultimate local bragging rights.
Candy "The Confectioner" had Craig sweating bullets in the opening round! Throwing with supreme touch, she gave "Thor's Hammer" a proper run for his money before Craig found his rhythm (and the crushing weight of his iron) to take the match convincingly.
Richard "The Magician" made his long-awaited debut for the season, turning up in beautifully pressed, light beige trousers. In a display of actual dark magic, he threw on wet, clay-splattered pits for an hour and somehow walked away looking like he’d stepped off the cover of Country Life—not a single speck of dirt!
David "Mr. Callipers" and Nev "The Quiet Assassin" both put on fine throwing displays in their respective fixtures, though both ultimately succumbed to the same ruthless Dalesman machinery.
Lennie "The Heir Apparent" met the same fate as everyone else who drew a Leyburn player in round one, but he fought for every millimeter and refused to go quietly. Massive credit to Lennie for turning up and giving it everything—especially with a crack-of-dawn start the next morning behind the wheel of his bus. He certainly knows a thing or two about coaching, even if The Dalesman gave the rest of us a proper lesson on the night!
Dave "The Skip", Darren "The Houdini", and Rob "The Landlord" all stepped up with massive expectations, only to be given a stern, old-fashioned schooling. Back to the drawing board—and the practice pits lads!
When the dust settled and the bracket narrowed to the main event, it was an all-Dalesman final between teammates Ducky and Tez. Frame-perfect throwing played out under a breathtaking Yorkshire sunset, with Ducky taking the honors to claim the inaugural crown as dusk settled over the hills. There was no silverware on offer, but the bragging rights were well and truly earned!
Above all, using our bye week for this crossover fixture was a resounding success for team spirit and local crack. You couldn't have asked for a better backdrop: stunning countryside views, a spectacular sunset, and two clubs mucking in seamlessly with refereeing, keeping score, and keeping the pits in order. A special shoutout goes to those squad members who couldn't squeeze into the 16-player cap but still turned up to cheer, scorekeep, and heckle from the sidelines as the sun went down.
A few notable off-pitch highlights:
Craig's new addition to the club's armory was unveiled! Having officially brought Mjøllnir into the mix, Craig has earned his rightful new moniker, "Thor's Hammer". The clay pits may never recover from the impact.
Gav "The Preserved" and Glen "The Comeback Kid" were both noticeably missing in action. Rumor has it the two were firmly in cahoots, operating a joint syndicate to protect their stats! The squad suspects they put their heads together, analyzed the Leyburn scouting reports, and mutually agreed to keep their win percentages safely locked away in a vault far from the action.
David "Mr. Callipers" debuted his brand-new second set of giant callipers. Looking like something salvaged from a 19th-century shipyard, his heavy machinery settled those agonizing millimeter calls with undeniable, scientific authority!
As the action wrapped up, a few clever souls sneaked off early to the pub to secure prime position for supper. And what a feast Rob "The Landlord" and the team at The Queens Head, Finghall put on: chicken and stuffing sandwiches with chips and a rich, hot gravy. There was plenty for all, and naturally enough for Simon "The Lunchbox" to squirrel away a second helping directly into his bag for tomorrow's lunch!
A massive thank you to The Dalesman for traveling over from Leyburn, bringing fantastic skills, brilliant banter, and giving us a bye week to remember. We look forward to getting our revenge in the rematch!