Mid Surrey Dementia Care Trust

20/09/2026

Wise words from a dear friend

“The hardest thing putting mam in a care home wished Id followed all these pointers tho.Copied n posted (who know's where from!):
I don't Ever want to go into a nursing home, but if worse comes to worse and I have no other choice because I'm well out of it, 😁 then this will be my wishes, to be upheld and respected. 😁😁

If I ever get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.

1. Every time you enter the room announce yourself. “Hi- it’s ………...” NEVER ask- Do you know who I am??? That causes anxiety.

2. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality. 🌸 Carers included.

3. If I think my dead friend is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.❤️

4. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.👍🏽❤️👍🏽

5. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

6. If I get dementia and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.❤️🥰❤️🥰

7. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.

8. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am. ❤️

9. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends. ❤️

10. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.

11. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me. ❤️

12. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated. ❤️

13. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.❤️

14. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.👍🏽

15. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.👍🏽

16. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.❤️

17. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.👍🏽

18. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.❤️❤️❤️

19. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.👍🏽

20. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.❤️

21. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs and plenty of laughing ❤️🥰❤️

22. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”🌼❤️

In honor of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In Honor of all those I know and love and lost who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s.

Someone once said if you take care of someone with dementia, you lose them more and more every day. When they get the diagnosis, when they go through different stages, when they need treatment, and when they pass away.

This is called "the longest goodbye ". As the brain slowly dies, they change physically and eventually forget who their loved ones are. They could end up lying in bed, not moving and not eating or drinking.

There will be people who will scroll past this post because
dementia has not touched them. They may not know what it's like to have a loved one who has battled or is still battling dementia.

To raise awareness of this cruel disease, I would like my friends to put this on their page today.

Hold your finger on the post to copy and paste to your timeline.

A special thank you to anyone willing to put this on their timeline for Dementia Awareness Week.
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Do it now, before you forget.”

05/08/2026

This is helpful
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https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19P934KBJo/?mibextid=wwXIfr

19/07/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1DDtupkyLw/?mibextid=wwXIfr

07/07/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1EgF9WwPCF/?mibextid=wwXIfr

24/06/2026

17/01/2026

More wise words from Sylvia Cowleard

“Just read this and had to post it. As we grow older this becomes even more meaningful.”

Read this to the end - I’m sure you’ll agree…

“When I turned 67, I sat in my favorite chair, looked back at my life, and whispered to myself,
“So… this is the beginning of the final stretch.”

And slowly, the truths I had avoided all my life began to surface.

Kids? They’re busy writing their own story.
Health? Slips away faster than sand through open fingers.
The government? Just headlines, promises, and numbers that never change your daily reality.

Aging doesn’t hurt your body first — it hurts your illusions.
So I sat down with myself and carved out a handful of bitter but necessary truths.

⸻

Kids don’t save you from loneliness

Children grow, life pulls them in every direction, and you become a memory they visit when time allows.

You smile… and yet something inside you remains strangely hollow.

Kids bring joy — but they are not a shield against loneliness.

⸻

Health is not forever

One day, the outings you once jumped into with enthusiasm feel like a marathon.
You realize health was never a background character —
it was the main pillar holding your life steady.

⸻

Retirement and money

Retirement is not a reward — it’s a reality check.
Depending on the system is like standing on thin ice.
Bills grow, needs grow, prices grow… but support doesn't.
⸻

So I rebuilt my life on new rules — honest, sharp, practical rules for living with dignity.

⸻

Rule 1: Money is more reliable than anything else.

Love your kids, cherish them —
but don’t make them your retirement plan.

Save for yourself.
Even small savings create big freedom.
Financial independence is dignity.

⸻

Rule 2: Your health is your real job

Nothing else matters if your body refuses to cooperate.
Move. Walk. Stretch.
Guard your sleep like treasure.
Eat cleaner. Reduce the poison disguised as sugar and salt.

Illness doesn’t discriminate,
but it respects those who take responsibility for themselves.

⸻

Rule 3: Create your own joy

Waiting for others to make you happy is the fastest way to heartbreak.
So you learn to enjoy the small things —
a peaceful breakfast, a good book, music that warms the soul.

When you know how to make yourself happy, loneliness loses its power.

⸻

Rule 4: Aging is not an excuse to become helpless

Some people turn aging into a performance of complaints.
And slowly, even those who love them start stepping away.

Strength is attractive.
Resilience is magnetic.
People respect the ones who stay capable, not the ones who surrender.

⸻

Rule 5: Let go of the past

The good old days were beautiful — yes.
But they’re gone, and there is no return ticket.

Clinging to the past steals the present.
Life today may look different, but it still holds moments worth living.

⸻

Rule 6: Protect your peace like it’s your property

Not every argument needs your voice.
Not every insult needs your response.
Not every relative deserves access to your emotions.

Peace is expensive.
Protect it from drama, negativity, and draining people —
even if they're your close ones.

⸻

Rule 7: Keep learning something — anything

The day you stop learning is the day you start aging.
A new recipe, a new word, a new app, a new hobby —
your brain needs movement just like your body does.

Learning keeps you young.
Stagnation makes you old.

⸻

Strength and freedom still belong to you

Aging is an exam no one can take for you.

You can adapt, rebuild, and rise stronger…
or sit back, complain, and wait for someone to rescue you.

And if ....
No one comes to rescue you ....

Stand up for yourself ...

Because you still can..
And that single truth is enough to transform the rest of your life.”

Unknown author

06/01/2026

Please like and share 🤗

Happy new year from the Trustees. A volunteering opportunity has arisen to join us. Volunteering is the most rewarding job if you’re looking to give a few hours a day to give to help others. What is required? A few hours a day of your time once a week to get to know 6/8 people by talking about their past activities and playing games to keep brains active. This social environment keeps memories for longer. Our club members are interesting, full of fun, and have a wealth of life experiences. All expenses paid and lunch too can be provided. Please contact us through our website www.midsurreydementiacare.co.uk or telephone 01372 273892 to speak with a Trustee

Mid Surrey Dementia Care Trust operates The Conservatory Club at the Fairfield Centre in Leatherhead for people with memory difficulties or in the early stages of dementia.