Blossom Way Rovers

23/04/2026

Match Notes from tonight’s game against Keelby.

18:37 - Game start. Gaffa is in a suit for his last game.
18:38 - they have scored. That didn’t take long, get Jamie in. It was all Little legs’ fault. 1-0.
18:40 - erm, they’ve just nearly scored again. Joe’s last game as gaffa is not going well.
18:43 - Bobby did a roly poly, just dancing to entice a mate.
18:47 - Glenn took a shot, but it bounced off their keeper I think.
18:49 - I feel physically sick for this game.
18:51 - Our Ginger, Ash has just got airtime. Flew in the air.
18:56 - They took a shot, straight into porters arms.
18:58 - Glennda has just scored, HOORAY. 1-1.
19:02 - Brandan has just scored, what a man. Our ginger assisted. 2-1.
19:08 - Free kick to us, miro got scared and ran away from him.
19:10 - Our ginger, has just been booted. Their player got a yellow.
19:12 - someone jumped into Brandan but he bounced off. Brandan must be solid.
19:15 - Calfreezy just saved another one. We will keep Jamie on the bench for now.
19:18 - does anyone know what it is with the where’s wally socks?
19:21 - They all keep shouting for the ref anytime Alfie, Tom or Jensen get near the ball.
19:23 - Half time.

19:29 - Game start again
19:30 - the balls gone out and they’ve sent Charlie to go and get it. His little legs will take him till the end of the game to get back.
19:32 - Porter is down he says “my hips don’t lie bro” he’s buggered. Bobby is going in goal, Jamie would be better.
19:36 - cute little mo just bounced the ball off his bo***es and then did a touch on his toes.
19:40 - OUR GINGER HAS SCORED, been a while. 3-3.
19:41 - Glenn took the ball off of the little man and they called for the ref.
19:42 - lots of running, that’s about it.
19:45 - I actually just watched good football, Morgan took a shot but it was missed.
19:47 - Miro is working hard for nobody.
19:50 - Tommy looks tired, I mean he is 30 so it’s understandable!
19:52 - Harry is shouting for Joe, surely he can’t want to come off already.
19:55 - Our shiny head just nearly tripped over his own feet.
20:01 - Brandan is taking a free kick, header from someone, goalkeeper saved it.
20:04 - one of their players have been laid on the floor for like 8 minutes, play on.
20:06 - they’ve just taken a shot, pretty good goal. Sucks for them that it was offside.
20:12 - Morgan just took a shot, very close. Tommy nearly ran on the pitch.
20:14 - Brandan and Keatan are tag teaming one of their players.
20:15 - little Miro is on the floor with a cramp, poor thing. He’s coming off.
20:18 - Brandan, Jacob and Will S all just took shots at the goal, crazy stuff.
20:20 - Bobby let one in. 4-3.
20:21 - WILL S SCORED ITS 4-4. Everybody is on the pitch it’s mayhem.
20:21 - Game end.

Man of the Match - Ashley Short (our ginger)

Di****ad of the day - Will Shearsmith. For his goal celebration.

Big tone, the score was 4-4.

22/03/2026

Match notes from todays game against Jubilee.

10:43 - Game Start
10:44 - Charlie has bumped into someone and the ref has blown the whistle.
10:46 - Keatie Wheaty’s long legs were not long enough and the ball rolled out.
10:47 - everyone shouted handball but Tommy shut it down with “NO” so it wasn’t.
10:50 - Little J just told the lads to “get high” I’m not sure that would improve the performance.
10:53 - Our ginger (Ash) has just headed their corner ball AWAY.
10:56 - Jamie has just punched the ball away from the goal, like his stance was like superman.
11:00 - they’ve had about 6 corners, nothing has come from any of them. But they’ve had 6.
11:03 - Morgan is dead. I’m joking, he just went down like a ton of bricks and he hurt his head.
11:06 - their no.9 just held the ball to the floor and slid to kick it? I’ve never seen that happen in anything other than Strictly.
11:09 - After what Alfie said about Jamie and their goalkeeper before the game, he might struggle to know which goal he is defending.
11:12 - Branflakes is waiting for the opportunity to score.
11:13 - Jamie has saved another goal, this is like the 7th one now. All saved by punches.
11:16 - Little legs Charlie has just done a little trick, I don’t know how to describe it. But he won the ball.
11:19 - Jamie did not manage to save this one. It went through so many people. 1-0.
11:21 - their no.6 has just scored a very good goal. 2-0.
11:22 - the attitude has dropped, nobody cares anymore.
11:23 - Miro is finally playing, he has been counting the minutes.
11:27 - they have just scored again, 3-0.
11:28 - Tommy has just done a backwards roly poly.
11:29 - Half time.

Half time chat,

Every week joe thinks they’ve hit rock bottom, and every week they show signs of digging.

11:35 - Game start.
11:35 - Ash looks gutted, I’ve taken a picture for you.
11:37 - THIS IS BORING
11:40 - Glenda just did the splits.
11:41 - Joe has given up, head in hands.
11:43 - apparently they’ve scored again, i didn’t think it actually went in. 4-0.
11:44 - I’m not saying that we are s**t. But we are s**t.
11:47 - I am putting my name in the hat for man of the match, because it’ll have to be the best of a bad bunch anyway
11:50 - it’s 5-0.
11:53 - everybody is frustrated that we are playing crap, everyone is having a moan and a whinge.
11:55 - Bobby is coming off, I’m assuming he’s wound up too.
11:55 - Branflakes is coming on.
11:56 - Tony is getting rowdy because he just wants people to “take the f*cking shot”
11:57 - Miro has just taken a shot, unfortunately it went straight into their keepers hands.
11:58 - Buley is coming off, must be hard running through treacle for half an hour.
12:00 - some of the lads have just gone for a pint, I wish I did.
12:03 - Harry has just had to come and tape his nose ring, he’s been on the whole time. Nothing has been said. The tape isn’t sticking, so now we’ve taped around his face.
12:06 - Big Blanch has just kicked the ball with all of his might.
12:10 - Everyone’s just shouted at Morgan telling him to pass.
12:12 - Morgan has just scored, HURAH. 5-1.
12:15 - Branflakes has just gone down, free kick to is.
12:16 - he scored it, WHAT A MAN. 5-2.
12:18 - Jamie has just saved another, he might be my competition for man of the match. Gutted.
12:20 - Game end.

Man of the match - Slim pickings

Di****ad of the Day - Keatan

Big tone, another depressing one. It was 5-2 today.

08/03/2026

Match Notes from today’s game against Keelby.

10:45 - Game start
10:46 - they’ve had a free kick already, it’s okay. Charlie booted it away.
10:47 - Keatan did a run with the ball but their Glenn lookalike got it off him.
10:48 - Brandan has just done a roly poly on the pitch.
10:50 - Charlie’s tiny legs got in the way of them scoring, thank god for little people.
10:55 - we’ve been near the goal with the ball multiple times, taken the ball off the goalkeeper once but still no goal. Only way is up I suppose.
10:56 - Josh just headed the ball, it sounded proper solid.
10:58 - while nothing else is going on we will be coming up with nicknames for everyone that doesn’t have one so nobody feels left out. Josh will now be Big Blanch, Brandan will be Branflakes, Keatan will be Keatie Wheaty, Jacob will be Little J, Glenn will be Glenda.
11:04 - they’ve scored, no clean sheet for Cal Freezy this week. 1-0.
11:06 - I like the dugouts until the ball hits it at full pelt, then it’s like the world is blowing up.
11:10 - Keatie Wheaty just scored, he was right about his boots. 1-1.
11:11 - Shaggy just kicked thin air instead of the ball, no good.
11:16 - Harry has just shoved one of their players into the barrier, I reckon that’ll hurt.
11:17 - Big Blanch just ran through one of their players.
11:20 - Little J has just done a “great knock”.
11:23 - they have another free kick I think, Porter dropped it, they took another one, he lost it again then he saved it. Jamie would’ve got it first try.
11:25 - Shaggy just took a shot, aimed for the goal on the next pitch I think.
11:27 - They have just scored again though, if Tommy was there we might’ve had more chance at saving it. 2-1.
11:28 - Keatie Wheaty just attempted to score, I don’t think he wants the attention for 2 goals.
11:30 - Our Ginger (Ashley) has just taken a shot but the keeper saved it.
11:30 - Half Time.

11:35 - Game start again.
11:38 - Branflakes just ran through 4 of their players with the ball, teckers.
11:39 - their no.3 just kicked the ball out while he was trying to keep it in, football isn’t for everyone.
11:42 - Little J has been battered, luckily it was in the box. So our ginger will be taking the penalty.
11:43 - AND he has scored it, is anyone surprised? 2-2.
11:45 - Keatie Wheaty just took another shot, he wants the second one now.
11:47 - Branflakes has also been battered, they get mad every time we score. MORE MORE MORE.
11:48 - must be slippy, shaggy can’t find his balance.
11:49 - Tommy is just whacking shoulders into people left and right.
11:52 - Cal Freezy has just dropped one in his own net. So now it’s 3-2.
11:54 - It’s getting a bit scrappy and shouty now, I’ve missed what kicked it off.
11:55 - Tommy and Ash are getting and doing th shoving, their tall one got a yellow and said “he’s squaring up to me”.
11:58 - Glenn looks like he kicks the ball really hard and it just flutters into the goalkeepers hands.
12:01 - they have scored again, Porter is in the splits. This isn’t great. 4-2.
12:02 - Bobby just booted the ball at their no.4.
12:03 - GETTING BORING NOW it’s 5-2.
12:05 - Glenn has been battered too! Free kick to us, look on the bright side.
12:07 - Branflakes is taking it, and he has scored. It was great, went right between everyone and straight into the corner of the goal. 5-3.
12:07 - but they’re wasting no time so they’ve stuck another one in. 6-3.
12:12 - Apparently because it’s a Sunday we can’t be giving red cards out! In that case, green light for everyone. Go mental guys.
12:15 - Tommy and Joe are going mad about someone kicking the ball away and nothing coming from it because the rules have been forgotten in this game.
12:18 - Bran Flakes took another free kick, no bid was there for it though.
12:19 - I’m actually struggling to understand where all the animosity is coming from, lots of short angry men today.
12:20 - Bran Flakes has scored! Yippie 6-4.
12:22 - Game end, good timing because Bobby and one of theirs just nearly had it out.

Man of the Match - Ashley Short.

Di****ad of the Day - Lewis Porter.

Big Tone, bit of a depressing one today. It was 6-4.

01/03/2026

Following today’s big win against Sands, we’d like to give a special mention to the skipper on bringing up his 50th appearance for the club!!

Congratulations to Tommy on becoming the clubs first player to reach this milestone!

01/03/2026

Match Notes from today’s game against Sands.

10:44 - game start
10:46 - the whistle has blown already, not sure what happened.
10:47 - Charlie won’t be happy because Alfie has beaten him in a race right before the game.
10:48 - battle to try and get the ball near the goal, it went out.
10:50 - despite Porters diabolical hangover, he just saved a goal.
10:53 - Miro has a free kick… forgot what team he played for and passed it to one of them.
10:55 - Little legs Charlie has just been pushed in the face, not kind.
10:58 - Glenn has nearly scored twice, missing his good luck charm.
10:59 - Brandan missed, Keatan scored it then slipped over. 1-0.
11:02 - Brandan has not missed, he has scored it too. 2-0. The brothers are carrying this game at the minute. Legends.
11:03 - Charlie (tiny legs) has just done a throw in that went straight out but he’s blaming it on the wind.
11:05 - Glenn has got a yellow for throwing the ball out, 2 weeks on the trot.
11:07 - Miro keeps apologising to people, a little bump into them and he’s sorry.
11:11 - Ashley Albert Short is still on the side of the pitch.
11:13 - Jacob has had a stinkerrrr. His feet did not work with his brain.
11:15 - I’ve just been told Josh has thrown someone on the floor.
11:17 - one of there’s has just attempted to score, nowhere near the goal.
11:24 - Jacob has scored, about time! 3-0
11:27 - this pitch is so muddy, my shoes are getting ruined. Oh and all the lads are covered in it.
11:29 - Alfie has been sin binned and yellow carded for speaking back and swearing to the ref.
11:31 - Game end.

11:39 - Game start again.
11:41 - Little Keatan has just been clobbered by three men.
11:43 - Their goalkeeper must’ve put butter all over his gloves before starting this game.
11:48 - Morgan has scored, what a player 4-0.
11:50, Alfie’s sin bin is done but he’s not allowed back on yet so Ash is coming on as a birthday treat.
11:53 - Brandan has just scored again, what a man. 5-0
11:55 - he’s just gone for a third but didn’t fancy it just yet.
11:58 - Josh is having a telling off from the ref.
12:00 - it’s Ash’s birthday so he’s taking the penalty. We got one because their goalkeeper decided to wipe Brandan out.
12:02 - He scored it! 6-0.
12:03 - Josh has been booked, we are unsure of why.
12:04 - I thought it was going to be a bit warmer than it is today. Fuming.
12:06 - Brandan has just scored again, that’s 3. 7-0.
12:09 - Jacob had been taken out, yellow card for that one.
12:10 - Ash has scored! God we are doing good today. 8-0.
12:12 - the most saving Porter (Freezy) has had to do today is in the warm up.
12:14 - Bobby has now been booked I think.
12:16 - The ball is over near Porter now, I may have jinxed it.
12:20 - Glenn’s just nearly slipped over, it’s a bit slippy on the pitch.
12:23 - Keegan has just taken a corner, it was poor.
12:24 - Glenn has just scored! Happy days. 9-0.
12:24 - Game end.

Man of the Match - Brandan

Di****ad of the Day - Jacob

Big Tone, big one today. The score was 9-0.

22/02/2026

Match Notes from today’s game against Leisure.

10:00 - Game start
10:00 - little secret for you, Jamie is a no show and Porter wasn’t put in the squad because it wasn’t fair after being in Australia for 3 months. Not great.
10:01 - Tommy blocked the ball with his body.
10:02 - Little legs has hurt his little ankle at a trampoline park.
10:03 - they’ve taken a shot, unsure if it hit the bar or if Ash saved it.
10:04 - Little Keatan has got a goal 1-0!
10:07 - I can’t believe how sunny it is, a little gutted it wasn’t called off.
10:13 - Miro’s just taken one of their players out.
10:16 - their no.16 has just had to do 3 throw ins in the last minute. Poor lad is knackered.
10:19 - their no.4 just thought they scored, shouted “YES” now he’s all quite embarrassed.
10:21 - there’s a little cute dog chasing a tennis ball, much more entertaining I think.
10:23 - I haven’t seen Shaggy wind anyone up yet, he must not be feeling it.
10:24 - Ash has just let one in, hasn’t got used to the time difference so he must’ve thought it was bedtime. 1-1.
10:28 - Jacob has just scored, Keatan assisted i think it could have been Brandan but they look alike. 2-1.
10:30 - I take the comment about the sun back, it’s cold again.
10:31 - Glenn missed it, Brandan gave him it and a goal could’ve happened. If Isabella was here he would’ve scored.
10:36 - They have a corner, it was saved but only just.
10:39 - Ash is taking a p**p on the pitch.
10:41 - they’ve had like 2 more corners, ash is done for.
10:43 - Alfie did his head first run, you’re all missing out. It’s hilarious.
10:44 - Alfie has just attempted a croyff turn and it failed.
10:45 - Half time.

Half time chat - “Unbelievable stuff” - Porter

10:55 - Game start again.
10:56 - Alfie has just gone through one of their players and ended up with a yellow. No good.
10:59 - Brandan has just don’t a big old run, and ref blew his whistle because some rando put a flag up.
11:00 - The ball just bounced off of Glenn’s arse.
11:02 - Josh has the tightest shorts known to man on, Victoria has got no more secrets.
11:05 - we’ve had another run from one of ours and that guys out the flag up again.
11:07 - Harry is super fast, either that or their no.3 is just really slow.
11:12 - someone needs to take the flag off of this guy, it’s a very boring game when that moves more than the ball.
11:14 - Jacob and Glenn worked as a team and scored a goal, Glenn scored it so he wins. 3-1.
11:17 - everyone just stood and watched Brandan have their no.5 pants down.
11:20 - they’ve just scored, Ash has had a stinkerrrr. 4-2.
11:21 - Will G has just done a long run for nothing, just fun I think.
11:23 - Josh is taking the goal kicks because Ash has had enough.
11:27 - Jensen really wants to come on.
11:30 - Will S has just scored, he is overjoyed. 4-2.
11:32 - Will G has just hit a dolphin pose on the pitch, it’s exactly how you’re imagining it.
11:36 - I haven’t heard or seen Tom much, he’s doing all the work and getting no credit.
11:38 - Very close to scoring, key word being very close and not we scored.
11:39 - Will G has just taken a corner, it went behind the goal, Tommy not happy.
11:41 - Brandan had the ball, he was running and then tripped himself up and ended up face down on the floor.
11:43 - Will S has just gone through someone and now he has a yellow, he’s past winding people up he’s just going straight to beating people up.
11:49 - they’ve just scored again 4-3.
11:49 - this game has actually lasted way longer than it should and there is still 2/6 minutes left apparently.
11:51 - well it’s been 2 minutes and the games still going.
11:52 - Josh is defending for his life.
11:53 - Game end

Man of the Match — Brandan

Di****ad of the day — Alfie, Glenn and Will S for getting Yellow Cards.

Big Tone, the score was 4-3.

01/02/2026

Match Notes from today’s game against Bridge FC.

10:48 - Game start. We are so back.
10:49 - Charlie has just taken a shot, his little legs kicked it too hard and it went over.
10:52 - MIRO HAS JUST SCORED, and now he is knackered that’s his part done for the whole game. Will G has said it was a slow mo goal but booted it with full power. 1-0.
10:53 - I decided to come out of hiding to do the notes again. I hope you all appreciate it.
10:54 - Brandan has just scored, what a man. 2-0.
10:56 - Morgan is marking what looks like 13 or 47 year old.
10:58 - Charlie is stood next to himself in 30 years.
10:59 - it must be icy or something because their no.9 cannot find his balance he’s been on the floor about 7 times now.
11:02 - Tommy T has just nearly barged their no.8 into next Sunday.
11:04 - the poo heads have scored. 2-1.
11:07 - Jacob is always ready near the goal but the ball always goes over him, he needs some stilts.
11:11 - Jamie can’t feel one of his fingers, that is no good. It would be a great time for Porter to come back from Australia right now.
11:13 - Will G is in goal now.
11:16 - erm I think he forgot he was in goal and just absolutely snapped one of their players.
11:18 - he’s made a comeback and saved it.
11:19 - Will S has just been done by their no.9, Tony was NOT happy.
11:21 - Jacob must’ve put some really high stilts on because he took a shot and it nearly touched the sun.
11:22 - Keatan is taking a corner, nothing came from it but no harm no foul.
11:24 - Miro is having a boogie on the side of the pitch, he told he he’s dancing to Baby by Justin Bieber.
11:27 - Is it bad that I’m hoping for a scrap?
11:30 - there’s two really cute puppies here, one really wants to join the game and get the balls, the other is just enjoying watching.
11:33 - Half Time.

11:38 - Game start again.
11:40 - I’m not sure what happened, whistle blew, shouting, joe got mad. I’ll ask and let you know. Apparently nobody else knows either. Sorry.
11:42 - Olly did a throw, apparently some foul happened.
11:43 - a lot of people said “well done shaggy” but I don’t know what happened.
11:45 - god that’s 3 things I’ve said that I didn’t know what happened. I’ll start actually watching it now.
11:46 - they’ve just scored again, 2-0 up and we fu**ed it up. It’s 2-2.
11:47 - Brandan and Will are having a little go at each other for Will doing a “s**t pass”.
11:48 - Josh has just slipped over, it might’ve been a tackle but I can’t tell the difference.
11:49 - their no.8 just tried to score, must’ve thought the goal was 10ft tall.
11:51 - Josh has just taken a quick break to practice his karate, unfortunately his kick landed on one of their players.
11:53 - Bobby has got a yellow
11:55 - someone wanted to have a roll around in the mud with Brandan.
11:58 - update, Tommy is off and staying off, Olly is off, Bobby is off. Alfie is on, Keatan is on and Miro is back on.
12:00 - their ones at the back are not happy in the slightest.
12:02 - Alfie is doing his classic run with his head 2 ft in front of his feet.
12:03 - Poor Morgan just wants a goal, hope he gets one.
12:04 - the one that Mabel fancies has just done a little run.
12:06 - little Keatan has been battered, his little ankle hurts.
12:08 - Keatan has been done in again, he can’t catch a break.
12:09 - “ALFIE STOP COMMITTING IF YOU ARENT GONNA WIN IT” - Joe
12:11 - I won’t be here next week because it’s my birthday 🎉
12:14 - “JOSH’S” has been shouted so many times, and it has been his every time.
12:17 - Morgan did some fancy footwork and then the ball got snatched.
12:18 - Harry just did such a big throw, got to Jacob’s feet and Jacob took a shot. No goal happened.
12:20 - squeaky bum time for Will the Goalkeeper. Slipped over making a save but the ball was coming back at him.
12:22 - one of ours has just said “he looks like squidward’s house”
12:23 - Game end.

Man of the Match - Will Gaskell

Di****ad of the Day - Alfie Diamond

Big Tone, the score was 2-2.

07/12/2025

Match Notes from today’s game against the Trawl.

10:48 - Game start.
10:49 - Jamie is in goal because Porter’s kidney is giving up on him after last night but he’s got Josh’s coat so he’s nice and warm.
10:50 - Will G has just done a little slip when he had the ball, no panic though he didn’t fall over.
10:53 - Jamie made a save.
10:55 - a fair few of the lads on the pitch are either hungover or still intoxicated.
10:57 - Brandan just did a little toot and pretended it wasn’t him.
10:59 - Gaskell just took a shot, keeper saved it.
11:02 - the ball has just skimmed Miro’s head, poor lad nearly got the Glenn haircut.
11:05 - I’m a bit jealous that Alfie is so hairy, like he must be so warm.
11:08 - they’ve just taken a shot, too easy apparently. They didn’t score.
11:10 - Ash put a lot of effort in and then booted the ball at the back of Bobbys head.
11:13 - it was quiet for a minute and then there was a little tiny clap I’m not sure what happened. Maybe a free kick and a save?
11:15 - Little legs did a speedy run to get the ball out, good lad.
11:16 - Tommy T just got a whack in the face, someone ran past him with his arm out.
11:18 - They have just scored, it was offside but it must’ve been hard to tell for keegan, I mean with his eyes closed and all. 1-0.
11:20 - Glenn has been battered, man down. Free kick given.
11:23 - Ash was getting pulled around when he had the ball. Not nice is it.
11:24 - Charlie (tiny legs) I think maybe took a shot but it missed the goal by a mile so let’s say he just kicked it out.
11:26 - Ash just took a shot, keeper saved it. The keeper must not have gone out last night.
11:28 - thing is, we are playing good but we just aren’t scoring.
11:30 - Keaton is playing well because he wasn’t drinking last night, he was probably just having crispy cokes
11:32 - Josh did a very high kick, ballet actually might be his calling.
11:34 - Half time.

11:40 - Game start again.
11:41 - Glenn literally chased the ball into the keepers fingers.
11:43 - Another goal for Trawl, home time for me. This is a snooze fest. 2-0. Tommy T has been elbowed in the back of the head too.
11:44 - Jamie has butter fingers, pass it on.
11:45 - Keatan has scored, what a little legend. 2-1. Let’s do that again.
11:46 - Tom said he can’t see things but he can go back on, yeah I think not.
11:50 - they’ve just scored again, get Porter on. The kidney can wait, this is more important. 3-1.
11:52 - Ash has just dropped onto his shoulder, he’s holding it. I’m not sure this is good.
11:54 - I can’t believe Brandan hasn’t scored yet, he may have lost his magic of saving the game.
11:57 - by the way my hands are red and blotchy they are that cold. The ridiculous commitment I have to these bloody notes is absurd.
12:02 - Glenn got a bit scared to shoot, that’s okay because he passed it to Brandan then Brandan passed it to Gaskell and then Gaskell took a shot but then the keeper saved it.
12:04 - Will S is running around like mad man, begging for the ball.
12:06 - Glenn just took a shot, missed by an inch.
12:10 - Brandan is on the floor in a ball, bloody hell!!
12:12 - Miro is doing a free kick, it was alright.
12:15 - If Morgan showed up he would’ve scored, and Jacob.
12:16 - Will S just tripped over one of their players, straight back up because he’s just that hard.
12:17 - Alfie just did a mega kick.
12:18 - Will G just did too much instead of shooting, he lost it.
12:20 - Brandan has just scored, the magic is back. 3-2.
12:25 - Will just took a shot but there was no luck, rugby is his calling.

Big Tone, the score was 5-2 I must’ve missed a few!

Man of the Match - Bobby 👏

Di****ad of the Day - Keegan 👎

23/11/2025

Match Notes from today’s game against Sands.

09:59 - kick off
10:00 - Jacob just took a shot, little legs wasn’t there so it went out.
10:02 - lots of sliding about, a little bit intentional, a little bit because of the wet floor.
10:04 - Bobby did a good thing, I didn’t see it but I heard it was good.
10:07 - 8 minutes in and Brandan has been battered, elbow in the nose.
10:08 - Olly just took a shot from really far away, straight into the keepers hands.
10:11 - Miro has taken Brandan to the front desk because he is bleeding all over the place.
10:14 - no squeaky bum time for CalFreezy (Porter) he’s just that good.
10:16 - Harry chased the ball and kicked it all the way out.
10:19 - Brandan is back on, him and Keatan did a little handshake.
10:21 - I’m actually rather worried about Brandan because he said he has a migraine too.
10:23 - I am going for a wee, it’s a long walk so let’s hope they don’t score.
10:27 - Tommy L has been sin binned for swearing, no good. Nobody is happy.
10:30 - Brandan took a shot, there was no luck.
10:35 - Tommy L is back on.
10:37 - Ash (our ginger) has just done a really good tackle.
10:39 - Bobby is injured so he’s coming off and Miro is coming on.
10:42 - They’ve just had a shot, but it’s okay because they’re not great at it.
10:42 - Tommy Tasker is not happy about their shot, but it is okay.
10:44 - Half time, this is going on for so long. I think it’s because the only interesting part happened in the first 8 minutes.

10:51 - Game start again.
10:52 - Charlie (teeny tiny legs) kicked it out and Joe was very very happy with him.
10:54 - Glenn took a ball to his and he didn’t even flinch.
10:55 - Morgan has just scored, LEGEND. not sure who assisted, maybe Keatan. 1-0.
10:56 - Charlie has just taken a shot, and I kid you not it was SO CLOSE.
10:58 - their no.6 just got the ball out by his back, must’ve battered in this cold.
11:00 - Glenn has just scored, no top came off so a little bit gutted but we move. 2-0.
11:02 - little legs has just taken a shot, the goal must’ve looked bigger than it was. Perception is crazy.
11:06 - Brandan has just scored too, what a man! Not to speak too soon but we are on a mad one. 3-0. I’ve been told that Charlie assisted it.
11:08 - the wind really does expose everyone’s hairlines, I won’t say whose because they’ll be mad at me.
11:09 - Porter made a save, what a guy.
11:10 - we have a corner, Tommy T has just tried to score, the ball went way over the goal.
11:11 - Charlie is off, Bobby is back on.
11:14 - Miro just nearly ended up in the splits, gotta hurt.
11:15 - Tommy T just battled for the ball and got it away from Porter.
11:16 - Jacob did a hop, skip and a jump over one of their players.
11:20 - Miro has been floored, poor lad is hungover.
11:23 - Bobby and Jacob just fell into a hug, stared into each other’s eyes and fell in love.
11:26 - Jensen has been battered, this is no good.
11:27 - Oh by the way Porter has just let one in :(( he said “only virgins keep clean sheets”. 3-1.
11:28 - we did a throw in, they headed it straight back out so we’ve got another throw in.
11:30 - Olly is down now, I didn’t see what happened hope he’s okay.
11:32 - Jacob just scored, UNREAL. 4-1.
11:34 - Bobby got chased by two people, snapped, ref came running over with his red card out. Ner ner.
11:35 - Game end.

Man of the Match - Jacob Howes and Morgan Dunks 👏

Di****ad of the Day - Lewis Porter for not keeping a clean sheet! 🙅🏼‍♂️

Big Tone, the score was 4-1 x

09/11/2025