26/05/2026
"The question isn't 'How do I make them stop?' but 'How do I support them in making the decision to stop themselves?'"
That's the insight of Dr. John Kelly, Professor of Addiction Medicine at Harvard Medical School, and it's one we come back to time and again.
When your loved one is struggling with harmful use of alcohol, drugs, or gambling, the desperate urge to say or do the right thing to make it stop is completely natural. But addiction is complex. It involves brain chemistry, emotional distress, and deeply ingrained patterns of behaviour. There is no single phrase or action that will break the cycle.
What you can do is focus on what is within your control. Setting compassionate boundaries. Encouraging small steps. Looking after your own wellbeing.
Our Your Questions Answered page explores this question in full, with practical, honest information to help you find your way through.
๐ addictionfamilysupport.org.uk/your-questions-answered/