14/10/2025
Apologies for the delay, but…… after popular demand,
Match Report: Blackwater Vets vs Burridge AFC
Sunday 5th October 2025 — County Cup, Round 1
Blackwater Vets arrived for their first County Cup fixture of the season, proudly undefeated and full of belief. The visitors, Portsmouth-based Burridge AFC, made the two-hour journey north and, to their credit, brought a sizeable travelling fan base.
As ever, the pre-match build-up was far from smooth. The warm-up was delayed by the late arrival of club owner Craig and club manager Glenn, a now familiar ritual.
Unfortunately for Glenn, the headlines surrounding him continue to grow. The club’s media department (Stephen) is reporting that the manager faces a scandal of Allardycean proportions, following allegations of a Ponzi-style scheme involving player investments in “performance socks.” Eyewitnesses claim Glenn was later spotted in Primark, purchasing designer bags instead.
The board are said to be “monitoring the situation closely.”
The pressure appears to be taking its toll; the once youthful manager now sporting the weary look of a man in his sixties. Perhaps it’s time for Blackwater’s leadership to delegate key responsibilities to players: someone to chase subs, someone to clean the kits, a ball officer, and of course, a full-time social media rep (one not holding a flag on the touchline).
Starting Line-up Craig (GK), Tony, John, Dean, Peter (RB), Luke (LB), Sam B, Sam W, Mason, Ed, John 2 (ST).
With the nets erected moments before kick-off, the match began in typical Blackwater fashion, slightly chaotic, highly entertaining.
Peter caused early panic in the box with a thunderous throw-in, while Big Sam somehow managed to blast over from three yards. Small Sam displayed trademark composure with neat footwork, and Luke dazzled with ball control reminiscent of Kanu in his pomp.
Against the run of play, Burridge took the lead, with question marks once again over Blackwater’s new formation. Much like Manchester United, the problem may not be the players… but the system.
A delicious through ball from Big Sam found John 2, who was narrowly beaten to it by the keeper. Ed then had a sight of goal but sent his effort skyward, somewhere into Hampshire.
The right flank was looking increasingly exposed… again, the cost of the formation. But salvation arrived when Luke was brought down in the box. Penalty! Sam stepped up with confidence and slotted coolly into the bottom corner. 1–1.
Moments later, chaos in the Blackwater box saw John’s headed clearance fall to an opposition striker… but Tony threw himself into a last-ditch challenge that saved what looked a certain goal. Heroic defending.
A routine free kick for Blackwater turned dangerous when Peter’s inch-perfect delivery floated into a deadly area, begging for a finishing touch. None came, but the intent was there. Minutes later, Peter was clattered and let out a noise so dramatic the crowd feared a broken leg, only for him to spring up seconds later, free kick won.
Then controversy. Craig and John sandwiched an opposition player in a challenge that could only be described as 50-50-50. Craig, already riled up, was shown red after allegedly calling someone a “f***ing prick.” Whether this was the referee, the player, or himself remains unclear. Down to ten men, and Burridge converted the resulting penalty. 2–1 Burridge.
With Blackwater reeling, Peter, the right-back with a warrior’s heart, made a decision that will be remembered in club folklore. Volunteering to step into the unfamiliar role of goalkeeper, he pulled on Craig’s gloves and took his place between the sticks. What followed was nothing short of extraordinary. Peter, with no prior experience in goal, produced a commanding performance, barking orders at his defence and diving bravely at the feet of Burridge attackers. His reflexes thwarted two close-range efforts, and a fingertip save on a curling shot left the travelling fans stunned. His presence restored belief, but it now raises serious questions for Blackwater’s management: does Peter’s heroics in goal warrant a rethink of the goalkeeping position for the games ahead, or will Craig reclaim his spot once the suspension lifts?
Despite the chaos, Blackwater never die wondering. Big Sam threaded a pass to Luke, who chipped over the advancing keeper. It bounced agonisingly slow across the line, with John 2 sliding in for the finishing touch. VAR (i.e., bystanders) confirmed Luke’s goal had already crossed the line. 2–2.
At this point, Mason’s performance was masterful, crunching tackles, flawless timing, and winning everything in the air. His composure at the back kept the Vets alive. Big Sam continued pulling strings, sliding defence-splitting passes that somehow went unrewarded.
The second half began with Luke tormenting the opposition defence again. Big Sam found himself one-on-one with the keeper, who produced a world-class save. From the ensuing corner, Luke whipped in a beauty, Mason met it with power, but it soared just over.
Then disaster. Burridge unleashed a long-range screamer into the top corner. 3–2 Burridge.
With the side down to ten and trailing, stand-in manager/goalkeeper Craig (now spectating after his red card) made changes: John 2 off for Aaron, who’d scored on debut two games prior; Ed replaced by content creator turned supersub Stephen Strang.
And within minutes, magic. Luke, once again the tormentor, displayed sublime control before threading a pass through the defence that kissed the inside of the post and went in. 3–3! The crowd roared. Blackwater weren’t just alive… they were growing stronger.
Tom replaced Tony, adding much-needed energy to the backline. John marshalled the defence like a man possessed, while Dean threw himself into every challenge, ensuring no easy path through. Mason, still immense, continued timing tackles to perfection and sweeping up danger like a seasoned pro.
The visitors came close again, with the same player nearly replicating his earlier wondergoal, but fortune—and Peter’s commanding presence in goal—favoured the brave.
Then came the big one. Manager Glenn turned to crowd favourite Dave Armour Pro, amid rumours of a potential move to local rivals Woking (who can apparently offer more minutes up front). Perhaps that explains his substitution up front rather than in defence.
And what a decision it turned out to be. In the 89th minute, Dave fed Big Sam through on goal. Sam, ice-cold, waited for the keeper to move before rifling home. 4–3 Blackwater. The comeback was complete! Players, substitutes, and possibly even Glenn’s investment fund mobbed Sam in celebration. The final minutes saw Burridge launch every ball forward, even their keeper was stationed on the halfway line, but the Vets stood firm, with Peter’s commanding shouts and a crucial late catch under pressure sealing the defence.
Then, the whistle. Full time.
From one-nil down, then ten men, to winning in the dying seconds, this was nothing short of legendary. A comeback for the ages.
Every player was immense, but while Luke, Mason, and Peter’s heroics in goal produced standout performances, Man of the Match could only go to Big Sam, two goals, endless graft, and a presence that terrified the opposition. Burridge players could be heard muttering, “We know who they’re aiming for,” every time he rose for a header.
As for Burridge… sympathy must be extended. A two-hour trip, no changing rooms, no toilets, nets up minutes before kick-off, a one-goal lead, and a man advantage, only to lose in the 89th minute. Heartbreak for them. Ecstasy for Blackwater.
Blackwater march on, still undefeated, and into the next round of the County Cup. Yet, as the dust settles, all eyes are on the goalkeeping conundrum: will Peter’s unexpected brilliance force a selection headache for Glenn and the board?
