08/03/2026
On , we celebrate the incredible things military women accomplish every day. But it is also an opportunity to recognise the challenges they may face, like the delicate balance of having a career and being a mother.
SSAFA, the Armed Forces charity RAF Welfare Officer, Leanne Wheeler (not pictured), shares her personal experience and offers practical advice to others in similar situations.
I returned to full-time employment last year with SSAFA as a Welfare Officer for the RAF Personal Support & Social Work Service (RAF PS&SWS). Since leaving the RAF Regulars when my eldest son was just two and a half years old, it was the first time I had stepped back into a full-time role.
Before that, I had spent years juggling the realities of military family life, living in Lincoln while my husband was based in Kent, all while I worked full-time in RAF Air Traffic Control. The balance was incredibly hard and, without the support of extended family, I honestly don’t know how we would have managed.
Being medically discharged from the RAF wasn’t in the plan, but it gave me something precious: the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mum. It’s a period I will always be grateful for. Over time, though, I found myself yearning for something that was mine again: something that involved adult conversation, purpose, and challenge.
A chance coffee with a friend led me back into uniform with the RAF Reserves. But with both my husband and I serving, and no support network close by, every childcare emergency naturally landed at my door.
Following the experiences of many military spouses online, I realised this wasn’t unique. On social media, in podcasts, and in everyday conversations, military partners regularly talk about the weight of childcare responsibilities falling to them.
As military wives and partners, we understand that during essential duties our serving spouses can’t simply drop everything, but we should also recognise the enormous sacrifice made by military partners who carry the lion’s share at home. On , my admiration goes out to every single one of them.
Stepping into my role as an Royal Air Force PS&SWS Welfare Officer feels like a natural extension of those lived experiences. My youngest is now twelve and well into secondary school, and while full-time work still comes with challenges (sickness bugs, school clubs and last-minute changes) having a job I genuinely enjoy makes the balancing act worthwhile.
Military life is unique, and that is exactly what makes it so special. There will be moments when you feel like you’re carrying the weight of it all on your own, but I promise you, you are never as alone as you think.
Reach out to your Community Teams, join the clubs, go to the coffee mornings, and let yourself lean on the network that understands this life better than anyone. Give yourself credit for the resilience you’ve built along the way; military life shapes a strength in you that you may not always notice in the moment.
It’s a journey I wouldn’t change for the world. It’s given me my husband, incredible opportunities, and friends who feel more like family. And if I could offer one piece of advice, it would be this: don’t underestimate the power of connection. The days are lighter when you let others walk alongside you.
It’s definitely not easy, but to all the military women out there: we’ve got this!
