The Barry Martin Foundation

30/09/2026

So I haven’t written about grief for a while.

Maybe it’s because, even though my resolve grows and time continues to move, it just doesn’t bring new words with it.

There are only so many ways to describe something that you continue to live every single day. Right?

We do things. We laugh. We go places. We make plans. The boys achieve things. I study. I work. I campaign. I build things in Barry’s name. There are photographs of happy days that capture a moment even where the memory implants in my mind forever, and there are moments when we genuinely are happy.

But I’ve realised there is a difference between having moments of happiness and having a quality of life that can be sustained.

We have pockets of life.

And then we return to everything that still hangs over us.

Bereavement itself is heavy enough. And those who experience it understand the almost permanent state of fatigue that can come with it.

But when a death is traumatic, when there are unanswered questions, investigations, legal processes, meetings, reports and decisions still to come, grief doesn’t get to quietly find its place in your life. It is continually dragged back into the present.

Nearly four years on, I don’t feel the way I did at the beginning. Of course I don’t. Human beings somehow adapt to things they once thought impossible to survive.

But adapting is not the same as being okay. Functioning is not the same as living. Laughing is not the same as being healed. And a good day does not cancel out grief.

I want Barry back, knowing I can’t have him. But I also no longer fit my old life. I’m a completely different person, and that is a lot to process.

I don’t want to and will not “move on”. What I do consider is moving forward, carrying trauma, but moving forward still.

What I really want is something far simpler.

I want the pockets of life to start joining together.

I want a good day to become a good week without something pulling us straight back into survival mode. I want ordinary things to actually feel ordinary again. I want to make plans without everything being built around what happened to Barry, and what still has to happen because of what happened to Barry.

I want my children to grow up carrying their dad with them, without having to carry the weight of everything surrounding his death as well.

And I want us eventually to reach a place where we are not merely incredibly good at surviving a life we never chose.

I want us to have enough space within it
to actually live.

Thinking of all who are grieving.

- Shelley Martin

14/09/2026

14/09/2026

From an idea… to the arms of bereaved children across Scotland.

It’s difficult to put into words what this moment means to us.

What began as an idea, to create something gentle, comforting and honest for children experiencing bereavement, is now very real.

Bazza Bear and Barry the Brave are out there. Being held by the children they were created for.

These images are the bit that happens before the photographs we may never see. Before our resources meet their new families.

The boxes on the floor. The tissue paper. Stickers.
The books. The bears. The packing. The labels.

One by one, each Bazza Bear was tucked lovingly into his box alongside a copy of Barry the Brave, ready to begin his journey to a child who needed him.

We’ve talked a lot as a family about what it means to us to send Bazza out into the world.

Perhaps because Bazza Bear and Barry the Brave came from something so deeply personal to us, we’ve realised just how protective we feel of him.

He came from our story. From our love for Barry. From something that belongs very deeply to our family.

There is enormous love attached to this little bear. And enormous pride.

We feel incredibly touched knowing that something so personal to us is now bringing comfort to other children.

Bazza will always be ours. But he was never created only for us.

He has a really important job to do now.

The Barry Martin Foundation was born from the worst thing that ever happened to our family. But we were determined that something kind would grow from it.

Bazza Bear cannot take grief away. Barry the Brave cannot make the person a child loves come back.

But perhaps, together, they can make a child feel a little less alone.

A bear to hold.

A story to read and to engage with.

Something that says: I know this is hard. You don’t have to be brave all the time. And you are not alone.

Every box you see here was packed and personalised with that child in mind.

And now, somewhere in Scotland, children are cuddling Bazza. They really really are.

And just like Barry the Brave reads,

“He is here to help children who are hurting and missing someone they love.

Bazza Bear might look like an ordinary bear, but he carries something powerful inside him, the spirit of bravery.”

————————————————————

This is difficult to put into words.

From an idea in our family home to the arms of bereaved children across Scotland.

This is what we made him for.

For Barry.
For children.
And for all the good still to come.

We thank you all so much, for your love, kindness, unwavering support, and respect for our family and The Barry Martin Foundation.

We hope you enjoy this moment too.

🐻🐻🐻

If you know a bereaved child in Scotland who may benefit from receiving Bazza Bear and a copy of Barry the Brave, or are an organisation which provides support to bereaved children, this free resource can be requested through our website:

https://www.thebarrymartinfoundation.com/request-resources

01/09/2026

A round of applause please!!

WE DID IT!

Barry’s Birthday Challenge is officially complete and our final press up total is an incredible……

10,108

Yes!!!

Can we say that again?

10,108!!!!

We originally set ourselves the challenge of completing 8,200 throughout August but somehow we just kept going once we hit the target. We have had a brilliant time doing this and now the days are not normal without press ups!

A huge thank you to everyone who has joined in, supported us, encouraged us and donated along the way. Every penny raised is going to the SFRS Family Support Trust, supporting firefighters and their families in Scotland when they need it.

There’s still time for one last donation if you’d like to help us finish the challenge with a final fundraising boost. Any donation helps and is much appreciated.

Please make it directly at:

https://www.justgiving.com/charity/sfrsfamilysupport

Massive congratulations to everyone who has been participating, we think you’re incredible. And an extra huge well done to Oliver and Daniel who have taken this on and in their typical style, have smashed it!!

There is only one was to finish.

Over to Oliver….

25/08/2026

8200 Press Up Challenge at Sumburgh Head, Shetland.

25/08/2026

Barry’s Birthday Challenge at Sumburgh Head!

Our calisthenics legend was squeezing in some press-ups with this incredible view over the North Sea!

Oliver has been doing calisthenics since he was just 8 years old and is an absolute machine. He’s incredible.

It was a very windy and blustery day at Sumburgh Head, but that didn’t stop us. We squeezed in press-ups at every viewpoint on the way up, with Bazza Bear coming along for the adventure too!

And the ultimate reward at the top? The resident puffins.

We’re not exactly keeping our current total a secret…

You can visit www.thebarrymartinfoundation.com and check the tracker, which will give you a good idea of just how incredibly close we are.

We’re squeezing out as many press-ups as possible between now and 31st August and will share our final total next week.

Barry’s Birthday Challenge runs from 1st–31st August, raising funds for the SFRS Family Support Trust. We invite anyone to take part and thank every single person who has joined in, donated or supported us along the way.

To support the challenge, please donate directly to the SFRS Family Support Trust:

https://www.justgiving.com/charity/sfrsfamilysupport

21/08/2026

Busy busy week with books, bears, and back to school, and still we are smashing out the press ups!!

We are so close to our target!

Please consider making a small donation to the Scottish Fire and Rescue Service Family Support Trust.

Over 7000 done with 10 days to go!!!

Donate directly at https://www.justgiving.com/charity/sfrsfamilysupport

Our tracker is online at www.thebarrymartinfoundation.com if you’d like to follow our challenge progress.

16/08/2026

We’re absolutely delighted to see the launch of Barry the Brave featured in the Dunfermline Press, with a lovely two-page spread about the book, Bazza Bear, the boys and the work of The Barry Martin Foundation.

A particularly lovely one for everyone who joined us at the launch on Barry Martin Day. If you’d like a little souvenir from such a special day, you can pick up a copy of this week’s paper while it’s still available.

We’d also like to say a very sincere thank you to the Dunfermline Press for the compassion, sensitivity and respect with which they have told our story. When writing about bereavement, children and something so deeply personal to our family, that matters enormously, and we are incredibly grateful.

It’s wonderful to have the day captured in print and to see the story of Barry the Brave reaching even more people.

Thank you again to everyone who came along, supported the boys and helped make the launch what it was. ❤️

14/08/2026

Bazza Bear has been on his travels!

Bazza came along to Shetland with us, and he found himself a pretty spectacular spot overlooking the sea!

We’ve been incredibly grateful for the amount of interest in our book Barry the Brave and Bazza Bear, and we are currently receiving a very high number of enquiries and requests for our bereavement resources.

To help us manage these properly, all resource requests must be made through the Request Resources page on our website. This applies to everyone requesting resources, including families, schools, hospitals, charities and other organisations.

Please use the form here:

https://www.thebarrymartinfoundation.com/request-resources

As we are very busy, it may take us a little longer to respond and prepare resources for dispatch.

Every request will be carefully considered, and we’ll be in touch as soon as we can.

Thank you so much for your patience, support and for helping us make sure Bazza Bear and Barry the Brave reach children who need them.