The Modern Fatherhood Club

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The Modern Fatherhood Club A community dedicated to supporting and celebrating the role of fathers.

5 million words and counting and a master vault of thoughts on fatherhood, what shaped the man I am today and the dad I’...
11/08/2026

5 million words and counting and a master vault of thoughts on fatherhood, what shaped the man I am today and the dad I’m working to become.

What can I do to make this more accessible to others?

Ebooks (Done)
Courses (Written and Taught)
100+ Epsiodes recorded and shared

A content machine…

That was never the goal.

Making support accessible to every dad through the Fatherhood Fund is the vision. I’ll share more in due course but for now I need some help?

With so much written and recorded what’s the next logical step. I’m not going to create another product because I’m focused on growing the brand and our voice in the fatherhood space.

My question tonight is this: If you had access to 5 million words on fatherhood. What would you do next?

A lot of men start changing before the baby arrives. They just don’t know what to call it.It’s a subtle shift. You start...
24/07/2026

A lot of men start changing before the baby arrives. They just don’t know what to call it.

It’s a subtle shift. You start to look at work differently, money feels heavier and time not only feels like it’s slipping away but it feels more valuable.

But I think it’s deeper than that…

You start to look at your future differently. Your target is no longer just an idea, instead it begins to feel like a responsibility.

I remember I had a plan. Do this, hit this target, achieve this goal and you’ll feel more complete and deliver on what you set out to achieve.

As our pregnancy ticked by I still wanted the same things but the reasons behind them started changing.

At first I struggled to join the dots, it felt like I didn’t have it all figured out and that I needed to push myself harder.

And it’s this identity shift that catches us out because we’re not ready for it and it often creeps up on us when we least expect it.

As a couple we talked a lot about preparing for the baby.

The scans.
The nursery.
The hospital bag.
The practical jobs.

But we didn’t talk about the internal shift that begins before birth.

The pressure to provide.
The fear of getting it wrong.
The question of where you now fit.
The strange feeling of being excited for the baby and unsettled by what life is about to become.

We didn’t talk about it and most don’t, but that unsettled feeling doesn’t mean you are weak or that you aren’t ready to love your child.

It means your identity has started moving. It’s a sign to get yourself together, but if no one helps you understand that, you can mistake it for stress, doubt or something you should hide.

This is where fatherhood preparation needs to change.

Not just because we need to be ready for baby but because the dad your baby meets is already being shaped.

By your habits.
Your stress response.
Your communication.
Your relationship with work.
Your idea of what strength looks like.
Your ability to stay present under pressure.

Fatherhood does not begin when someone hands you the baby.

It begins when you start preparing for the man your family will need.

Three months before my first son was born, I had an emergency while driving at 70mph on the motorway.I’d love to tell yo...
21/07/2026

Three months before my first son was born, I had an emergency while driving at 70mph on the motorway.

I’d love to tell you that it changed everything but it didn’t.

With the help of my dad I got myself home. Over 45 miles driven with the windows wide open, music blaring and the tightest grip on the steering wheel.

As I opened the front door my pregnant wife was greeted by her husband and his dad. I’d left work 5 hours ago and now I had my dad in tow.

We talked and I tried to explain what had happened…

She demanded that I get seen by the doctors.

The next morning a visit to A&E and the doctors found nothing. They carried out their check and I was cleared to drive.

A few days later I was back at work. Back driving and back working flat out.

You see, I told myself exactly what so many men tell themselves.

“Just get through this period.”

Looking back, that sentence says more about who I was than the situation I found myself in.

Why?

Because I didn’t see it as a warning.

I saw it as an inconvenience, something I needed to overcome and something to push through.

At the time, I thought that made me resilient.

But reflecting back I believe it was because I was completely unprepared for the man I was about to become. It wasn’t because I was a father who had pushed too far…

Henry hadn’t even been born.

It was caused by the way I had learned to live long before I became a dad.

Work harder.
Carry more.
Ask less.
Keep moving.
Don’t let anyone worry.
Don’t slow down.
Don’t let on you’ve got too much on your plate.

I thought those habits made me strong.

What I didn’t realise was that I was about to carry those same habits into fatherhood.

The problem is….

Fatherhood has a way of exposing the parts of you that need attention.

That’s why I believe the biggest preparation before a baby arrives isn’t the nursery.

It’s the man.

Our babies don’t create new versions of us.

They magnify the version that’s already there. If you’re surviving instead of preparing…

Don’t wait for fatherhood to force the conversation.

Have it now.
That isn’t weakness.
It’s leadership.

People often say you lose yourself when you become a parent.I don’t think that’s true.I think you meet parts of yourself...
18/07/2026

People often say you lose yourself when you become a parent.

I don’t think that’s true.

I think you meet parts of yourself you’ve never needed before.

Patience you didn’t know you had.
Fear you didn’t know existed.
Love that changes your priorities overnight.
Pressure that makes you question everything.

Before my boys were born, I measured success differently.

A good career.
Achievement.
Feeling valued and contributing to a business’s success
Challenge, pace and growth.

That next promotion or opportunity.

Then one day I found myself wondering whether I’d make it home in time for bedtime. Whether I’d miss another bedtime or bath time.

Nothing outside me had changed. But everything inside me had.

That’s why I struggle with the advice that says,
“Just enjoy every moment.”

Look, our world shifts. The pressure increases and we’re constantly wrestling with the balance needed to give them what they need.

As a new dad we experience this identity shift…

Some moments are joyful.
Some are overwhelming.
Some are lonely.
Some are unbelievably ordinary.

And through all of it you’re trying to answer two questions.

Who am I becoming?
Who do they need me to be?

Nobody prepared me for these questions but when I reflected on the answers it changed the kind of father I wanted to become.

I don’t believe preparation is about having all the answers. Preparation is about asking better questions before life asks them for you.

These are these are the conversations we need to have before we have kids and if not before then in the early days of our fatherhood journey.

It’s questions like these that we answer in Fatherhood in Focus because the clearer you are on your role the greater your impact.

Imagine being promoted into the most important leadership role of your life… without any training.That’s fatherhood.I ha...
16/07/2026

Imagine being promoted into the most important leadership role of your life… without any training.

That’s fatherhood.

I had my first management role in 2008 and the business I worked for at the time had this amazing team leader training course.

There was some workshop based leaning and then a 3 night retreat focused on the core skills needed to lead.

I remember returning thinking I’ve got this… I know how I want to lead and I have a chance at succeeding in this role.

A good employer invests in its leaders because it understands the benefits of helping it’s people shape future leaders.

But when we become fathers?

Most of us hear: “You’ll figure it out.”

A remarkable approach given the importance of the role in helping shape lives.

Fatherhood is the single biggest role you and I play but when we become responsible for another human we are expected to step up and act on instinct.

And yes, instinct and love matter.

But the skills to really nail this role are learned…

Leadership is learned.
Communication is learned.
Supporting your partner is learned.
Managing pressure is learned.
Teaching from experience is learned.
Emotional intelligence under pressure is learned.

That’s why I believe fatherhood should be treated like the greatest leadership role most men will ever have.

In all seriousness this isn’t about a qualification, this is about preparation for the journey ahead.

I’ve talked about the Fatherhood Preparation Gap…

This isn’t about telling dads they’re failing.

It’s about recognising they’re being asked to lead without the tools to deliver when it matters.

I believe:

The better prepared the father…
The stronger the family.
And the stronger the family the brighter future

That’s the mission behind everything we’re building at TMFC.

If you want to know more comment ‘LEADERSHIP’ and I’ll send you a link to the latest episode in my series Answer Me This…

The Five Things Missing From Most Fathers’ Lives (And Why Their Kids Feel It)

Nobody tells you you’re about to lose the man you used to be.When people find out you’re expecting a baby, they ask the ...
15/07/2026

Nobody tells you you’re about to lose the man you used to be.

When people find out you’re expecting a baby, they ask the obvious questions.

“Have you finished the nursery?”

“Got the hospital bag packed?”

“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?”

They’re all good questions.

But they’re not the questions that matter. These are surface level questions…

This is what I wish someone had asked me…

“Have you thought about who you’re about to become?”

“Are you ready for the responsibility of shaping a life?”

I didn’t know the answers to these questions at the time. But I believe it’s these questions that we need to answer.

Why?

Because becoming a father isn’t simply adding another role to your life.

It changes every role you already have.

You’re still a husband.

Still an employee.

Still a friend.

Still a son.

Still yourself.

But now you’re also someone’s dad and that’s when every decision feels different and every decision can make a difference.

Work is no longer just about progression but security.

Time isn’t measured in hours. It’s measured in moments lost and those you’ll never get back.

Success isn’t just about promotion, but whether your child runs to you when you walk through the door.

It’s that shift that I wasn’t ready for and it’s this shift we’re not helping dads prepare for.

Right now, we’re still confusing preparing for birth with preparing for fatherhood.

They’re not the same thing.

The birth changes your family.

Fatherhood changes you.

That’s the part we need to start talking about.

Today, modern fatherhood has changed but preparation hasn’t.

If you’re preparing to become a dad, start by preparing the man your family will need, not just the nursery they’ll sleep in.

That’s exactly why I created the Ultimate New Dad Toolkit. That’s why The Modern Fatherhood Club exists.

If you want a FREE copy of the 50 Tips for New Dads drop “50 TIPS” in the comments below.

I was prepared. I wasn’t ready.Those six words explain why The Modern Fatherhood Club exists.I knew how to fit an ISOFIX...
13/07/2026

I was prepared. I wasn’t ready.

Those six words explain why The Modern Fatherhood Club exists.

I knew how to fit an ISOFIX base.

I knew how to sterilise bottles.

I knew what was in the hospital bag.

What I didn’t know was this…

How much pressure I’d put on myself.

How guilty I’d feel leaving for work.

How hard it would be watching the woman I loved recover while wondering where I fitted in.

How quickly I would stop looking after myself.

How hard I’d have to push to try to find the balance between work and time with my family.

Nobody had prepared me for becoming a dad and honestly I hadn’t asked the right questions.

I’d been prepared for having a baby.

But that’s a very different thing.

The conversation around fatherhood often starts when dads are already struggling. In some cases it starts only after their world has started to fall apart.

That’s why we have to start earlier. Instead of reacting we must put the support and resources in place to support men before baby arrives.

Let’s prepare men before they’re firefighting.

Let’s stop treating fatherhood as something you simply grow into by accident.

Preparation isn’t pessimism.

It’s leadership.

If you’re about to become a dad, I’d love to help you stay ahead of the challenges I never saw coming.

That’s exactly why I created the Ultimate New Dad Toolkit.

The biggest lie we tell new dads is this… You’ll figure it out.Imagine saying that to a pilot, a surgeon, a teacher or s...
13/07/2026

The biggest lie we tell new dads is this…

You’ll figure it out.

Imagine saying that to a pilot, a surgeon, a teacher or someone leading their first mission into the unknown.

We’d never accept it.
We wouldn’t tolerate it.
We’d demand more.
And we’d expect more.

Yet in 2026 we’re still saying it to men who are about to embark on their fatherhood journey.

You and I are expected to get on with it and then the world is surprised when we feel overwhelmed, distant from our family and on the verge of burning out.

Can I be frank?

Fatherhood doesn’t start when your baby is born.

It starts the moment you realise your life will never be the same again.

Pregnancy isn’t the warm-up.

It’s the beginning.

And it’s the wake up call to get your act together and start preparing.

Not just financially.

Not just practically.

But psychologically and emotionally.

It’s the moment when the world is expecting you to step up and become:

The partner she needs

The leader ready for anything.

The man your family will rely on.

The practical stuff matters.

But so does the man building it.

That’s the conversation I wish I’d had before our boys arrived.

It’s the conversation I’m trying to normalise now.

If this resonates, take a look at the Ultimate New Dad Toolkit.

Because fatherhood isn’t just emotional…

It’s a mental thing too.

We spend months preparing for a baby. Almost no time preparing for becoming a father.When Teri was pregnant, we bought t...
11/07/2026

We spend months preparing for a baby. Almost no time preparing for becoming a father.

When Teri was pregnant, we bought the cot.

We painted the nursery.

Read the books.

Packed the hospital bag.

Downloaded the apps.

We prepared for the baby but what I needed was the “Here’s what’s going to happen” conversation

Nobody sat me down and said:

“Here’s what happens when your identity changes overnight.”

“Here’s why you’ll feel pressure you’ve never experienced before.”

“Here’s why you might question whether you’re enough.”

“Here’s how your relationship will change.”

“Here’s how to lead your family when you’re exhausted.”

We assume we will just work it out and some do, but many don’t.

It’s not because they don’t care. It’s because we didn’t share the knowledge needed to make the early days and years work.

That’s what I call The Fatherhood Preparation Gap.

It’s why so many dads spend the first years reacting instead of leading.

Today we’re asking modern fathers to carry more than ever before…

But continue to prepare them in exactly the same way we did twenty years ago.

Even as the UK continues reviewing parental leave and expanding employment rights for fathers, one thing hasn’t changed:

Time off doesn’t automatically prepare you for the responsibility you’re stepping into.

That’s why I built The Modern Fatherhood Club.

Not because as a dad you need fixing but because you and I deserve better preparation.

If you’re expecting your first child or know someone who is, then I’ve put together the Ultimate New Dad Toolkit.

Designed just for dad, because preparation beats reaction, every single time.

There are some incredible organisations supporting fathers.Many of them rely on grants, charities, local authority fundi...
07/07/2026

There are some incredible organisations supporting fathers.

Many of them rely on grants, charities, local authority funding and even short-term projects.

Their impact is real because they believe in their mission.

But too often, it’s limited by funding cycles and changing priorities.

We believe there’s another way.

The Modern Fatherhood Club is building a sustainable movement.

Every programme.

Every course.

Every corporate partnership.

Every workshop.

Exists for one reason.

To help us reach more fathers.

And to make support available to dads who might never have been able to access it otherwise.

That’s why we’re building the Fatherhood Fund.

Because support shouldn’t depend on your postcode, or your income or whether funding has been approved this year.

We believe businesses have a role to play too.

Supporting fathers isn’t just good for families.

It’s good for workplaces, communities and it’s great for society.

This isn’t a business built around products.

It’s a movement funded by products.

Everything we create helps us move towards one goal.

A future where every father feels prepared, supported and valued.

Our mission is built on one conversation, one family and one dad at a time.

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