28/08/2026
๐จ ๐ก๐ฒ๐๐น๐ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ต๐ถ๐๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐๐น๐น๐๐ฐ๐๐ฟ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป... ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ต๐ถ๐๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐๐ผ๐น๐๐๐ฒ๐น๐ ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ด๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐บ๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ. ๐
Everyone knows ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ช๐ถ๐น๐น๐ถ๐ฎ๐บ ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ weren't exactly best mates.
There was the throne.
There was Ireland.
There was the small matter of the Battle of the Boyne.
But historians have covered up the REAL source of the bad blood for more than 300 years...
๐๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ผ๐ธ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐ฎ๐๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐๐น๐น๐๐ฐ๐๐ฟ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐ถ๐ด ๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ณ๐ฎ๐๐. ๐ญ๐ณ
According to absolutely no historical record whatsoever, William arrived at Listullycurran Orange Hall one September morning after hearing rumours of a breakfast so good that men were travelling from as far away as Dromore without even being asked.
He tied up the horse, walked through the door and stopped dead.
Sausages.
Bacon.
Eggs.
Soda bread.
Potato bread.
Beans.
The works. ๐ณ๐ฅ
And sitting in the corner...
๐๐๐ ๐๐ฆ.
William narrowed his eyes.
James slowly lowered his fork.
Nobody spoke.
Even the frying pan went quiet.
William looked towards the serving table.
๐ข๐ป๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐บ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฑ.
Both men stood up.
A local man, realising Europe was approximately four seconds away from another major conflict, stepped between them and announced:
"๐๐ฎ๐ฑ๐... ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐น๐บ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐๐ฒ๐. ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ'๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐ด."
Disaster averted. ๐
William eventually sat down, had a feed fit for a King and reportedly declared:
"๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ด๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฟ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ. ๐ช๐ต๐ผ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฎ๐๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฑ?"
James went back for seconds.
William went back for thirds.
And for one glorious morning, two bitter rivals discovered something they could finally agree on...
๐ฌ๐ผ๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ป'๐ ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ป ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฒ๐บ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต. ๐๐ณ
Historians will tell you none of this happened.
๐๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐'๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐๐ผ๐น๐๐๐ฒ๐น๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐.
But the ๐๐ถ๐๐๐๐น๐น๐๐ฐ๐๐ฟ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐ถ๐ด ๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ณ๐ฎ๐๐ certainly IS happening. ๐
๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐จ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ต ๐ฆ๐๐ฃ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฒ
โฐ ๐ด:๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐บ โ ๐ญ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ผ๐ผ๐ป
๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐๐น๐น๐๐ฐ๐๐ฟ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ข๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐น๐น
So come hungry.
And whatever you do...
๐ฑ๐ผ๐ป'๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐ฎ๐๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ.
We've seen where that leads. ๐๐
๐ ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐'๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ถ๐น๐ ๐ด๐ผ ๐๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐๐๐น๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฎ๐๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฑ. ๐
