22/11/2024
Please consider whether the Herbert Protocol might be useful for you and your loved ones.
Can you spare five minutes to read the story of Edith and Albert?
Edith and Albert have been married for 60 years. They met in the spring of 1964 and later this year they celebrate their diamond wedding anniversary.
After many years of Edith reminding Albert about their anniversary, this year it will be Edith who won’t recall the date. She won’t get Albert a card. She won’t understand why their children will bring them flowers.
Many memories remain so strong but others less so following her diagnosis of dementia.
Edith is no longer able to pick what to wear each day. She no longer blow-dries her hair into ‘her’ style that is so familiar to family and friends. Albert dresses her as best he can, sometimes she wears mismatched socks. He loves his wife dearly and is committed to caring for her, supported by their children.
Albert doesn’t sleep well and struggles to rest in the day because Edith has previously opened the front door to strangers.
Last week she was found in the front garden admiring her dahlias by their neighbour Sally.
Sally has heard about something called ‘The Herbert Protocol’. Over a cup of tea she explains to Albert the scheme involves documenting important information about a loved one who could be at risk of going missing.
Albert struggles to think that Edith would ever get further than the garden gate. He also doesn’t consider that he would struggle telling the police information about Edith in that moment. He has loved her for 60 years. He knows everything about her.
Sally explains that when a loved one goes missing it’s extremely stressful and this impacts our ability to process information and manage lots of questions. Even though it feels like something that would never happen, if Albert wrote down information now, it could help with the search, and potentially save Edith’s life.
Sally and Albert search for ‘Herbert Protocol Sussex Police’ and Albert prints the form from the Sussex Police’s website.
That evening he writes about Edith’s favourite places, their old address, and to call her Edie, (not Edith) as that’s what she’s used to. He also asks their children to take a photo of Edith and email it to him. She’s changed so much from the photos they have around their lounge.
HERBERT PROTOCOL
The story of Albert and Edith could apply to so many who are caring for a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer’s at home.
No one wants to think their loved one could go missing, but people with dementia or Alzheimer’s sometimes do get lost, and worst still do go missing. Being prepared can really help us, and you, in the search for them.
When someone is reported missing, we will ask a lot of questions, and it can help to be prepared. It can also help to have a recent photo, something that families may not have readily available.
Police forces across the country use a unified version The Herbert Protocol, you can check your local force’s website. Equally, you can also find the Protocol on the Age UK.
