10/03/2026
"I thought that after we moved, when we had it all set up that he would want to join us, but he never has. I think it’s because his life there in Keynsham is so good - and that is because of Mencap."
We lived in Bristol, but I fought really hard to get J supported living in BANES as the provision was so much better.
We have lived in Cornwall for four and a half years now. When we were looking to move, I always thought that J would come with us, but he never wanted to! I loved the peace and quiet as soon as we moved down here. We bought a 4-bed house so we had a room set aside for J in the hope that he would move down with us, but now we know that he doesn’t want to. Of course, we are going to accept that and be grateful.
I thought that after we moved, when we had it all set up that he would want to join us, but he never has. I think it’s because his life there in Keynsham is so good - and that is because of Mencap. Choosing to live independently is not something that you think is going to happen when you have a child with a learning disability, you change what you think is going to happen.
Mencap has changed his world. Really! It’s absolutely true. Music Man is his favourite. The work that Laura, Naomi and the team have put into that is gobsmacking. It is inspirational. Keynsham is a really safe place for him to live, and he has his community and so many friends there. He is happy.
Cornwall is slower, quieter… more chilled. I get that J doesn’t want to move down with us. We are both in our 60s and we wanted this more chilled life, but he doesn’t. He’s young. We raised our children to be independent and make their own decisions, and that is what he is doing. By saying that he doesn’t want to move here, he is doing what he wants.
He’s visiting at the moment. His cousins are all visiting from London too, so he is hanging out with his them. They went to the local village pub, which I know is safe for him. He can have a good night out here. He visiting because he likes to see his niece too, my daughter and his niece.
I love beaches which is a big reason why we came here. There are lots of thing to do. I lived in Bristol when I was young. We were over in South Bristol and then moved to the East for work. Then covid hit and we decided to retire early. Life is too short! I was going to wait, but, well, it made a lot of people reassess things.
When family visit Keynsham and J takes them out and about, people always say, my sister-in-law always comments that people say hello when he is walking around the high street. He has so many friends. He has made himself a world there and he loves it.
When we lived in Keynsham, my husband used to do volunteering for the Football Club on a Monday, and I used to volunteer at Fitness on Tuesdays, so we could both pick him up and take him and he would do those clubs as well.
He makes his own choices, which has been quite hard in some ways. I have to become comfortable with that though. I can’t manage his world anymore – he’s an adult. He has got really good support in his supported living. Everyone at Mencap is really important to him too. I know that they were why he stayed.
Oh and the holidays!? He absolutely loves them. He talks about them, and looks forward to the holidays all year. They had to initiate a draw (for who can go) as they have become so popular. We always put him down for both of the holidays, as he wants to do them both.
The organisation has grown so much. He has been going since he was 4, and he is in his 30s now! It used to be called Gateway. I used to drive him over when we lived in Whitchurch. He has been going all that time, and made lifelong friends. I totally get why it is so important as it is to him.
He absolutely loves the Music Man. We’ve been twice to see them at the Royal Albert Hall! As a parent, to see your child do that would be amazing, but for someone who has a limited world, it really is breaking down barriers. Laura is amazing. She is a true friend to Jed, not just a Mencap leader, but a true friend. He appreciates all that she and Moly do for him. He is even volunteering at the new Play & Shine toddler group which he loves.
What you do touches people. Having a child with a learning disability changes people’s world. My daughter is a SENDCO. I wonder if she would have done that without knowing her brother. It brings positives beyond...
Keynsham Mencap, the organisation is driving change. I am so grateful to them. My son is happy, and it is because of Mencap. It has empowered him. He was a confident child and is a confident adult, and I am sure that having that support network and community is why.
I hope that this is a positive story for people with a young child with an LD. The barriers are not going to stop your kid from doing what they want to do. After he visits us down here, he gets the train home by himself. Assisted travel on the train reminds him when he has to get off. When he was young, I never would have thought of that. He wants to do it. He takes the opportunities presented to him. He is always saying “Don’t worry about me, don’t worry mum,” but mums worry!
The next time I will be back will be the Music Man Project Christmas concert. They are always so good!
**Unusually, this meeting was an online one, as this K&DMS parent now lives in Cornwall**
