31/05/2026
Not every conversation with a pastor is actually counseling.
Pastors are not mental health professionals, trauma specialists, or licensed counselors simply because they hold spiritual authority. Yet many have been taught to believe they are more qualified to navigate abuse, trauma, marriage crises, or mental health struggles than they actually are.
And people in the church are often taught to believe it too.
Too often, survivors of abuse are given spiritual advice by people with no trauma training, no understanding of abuse dynamics, and no awareness of the damage bad guidance can cause.
Telling survivors to βforgive,β βsubmit,β βstop gossiping,β or βprotect the churchβ is not healing.
Sometimes what gets called βpastoral counselingβ is actually pressure, spiritual bypassing, victim-blaming, or silence disguised as wisdom.
Survivors deserve support that is safe, informed, accountable, and trauma-aware.