05/10/2026
A really good advice from one of the support groups for men:
I want to share some of my experiences with abuse and allegations.
Firstly, not all allegations are completely false. Each story has two sides. However, I strongly disagree with opinions like: "oh the truth is in the middle". No, it's not in the middle.
A lot of stories (allegations) will be exaggerated. You raised your voice. In her opinion you attacked her, shouted. Unfortunately for men, women are very good actresses. They will gaslight you, manipulate you, test your limits and when you react (first advice: simply don't!) they will pretend they were the victim and you are the aggressor.
How many of you were attacked? Shouted, disrespected, kicked, punched, bruised? You push her back - boom: you are the aggressor.
You don't even know (until it's too late) that behind your back there is a smear campaign going on. She will start to complain about you to your friends, family and your children. It's not going to be anything very serious. Just little things but it will be constant. She will boil you like a frog. You won't be aware of what's happening. Your children will be manipulated.
Did I react? Unfortunately, I did. I'm not perfect. No one is. Did we argue? Of course. However, every man has their own limits, their own tolerance to pain and abuse. That one single incident has flipped the script.
Now, I know I should have been much more resilient, self-aware and cautious.
If you had asked me not that long ago about my plans for the future or warned me to be careful, would I listen? Probably not. It still feels like a fiction, a horror movie. Something that's not happening to good men, loving fathers. Yet, it did happen.
Stay strong. Eat healthy. Do not react.