08/08/2024
My choice of the best jokes from the Fringe so far...
The UK is so small, they’ve got to keep all their lakes in one district.
Liz Guterbock
I have a suntanning addiction, so only go on holiday in winter. I went cold Turkey last year.
Richard Stott
My relationship with my mum is like the evolution of payment technology – we went from physical contact to electronic only, then it was contactless.
Kuan-Wen Huang
Last year, I had a great joke about inflation. But it’s hardly worth it now.
Amos Gill
I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah. Lorna Rose Treen
The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
Liz Guterbock
When women gossip we get called bitchy; but when men do it’s called a podcast.
Sikisa
I entered the ‘How not to surrender’ competition and I won hands down.
Bennett Arron
Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch.
William Stone
However, my favourites are from Olaf Falafel.
‘I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed.’
‘My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” which I think speaks volumes.’
‘It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies. But before you know it, you’re adding raisins and marshmallows – it’s a rocky road.’
‘If you’re being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.’
‘I spent the whole morning building a time machine – that’s four hours of my life I’m definitely getting back.’