The Chambers Centre

25/01/2026

Reasons Living Waters Exists

We feel that simple values, such as honesty, spirituality, community, and freedom, are being lost. How easy it is to say how we feel about someone else’s behaviour, but scarcely can we utter a word of truth about ourselves. Many of us think spirituality is about outward conformity to a set of religious rules, yet we think nothing of the real inner spiritual journey of the soul. One wonders if community life has completely broken down. Our society seems to have made a mess of connections; broken relationships leave people bruised and hurting. And unsurprisingly, our freedoms seem to be slowly vanishing. We are fast becoming a society where it is increasingly dangerous to express one's thoughts on important issues.

Honesty

‘Honesty’ is the ability to speak accurately about one’s own experiences and behaviours.

One of the most interesting experiences I have had, in years of listening to and praying with people in small groups, is the discovery that when people find safe places where they can share, they actually want to tell the ‘good, the bad, and the ugly’1. of their lives. Often, this involves sharing their most personal experiences. This speaks to what I believe is a basic human need, i.e., the need for honesty. Honesty is the ability to speak accurately about one’s own experiences and behaviours. But to speak truthfully about what we have done and what has been done to us is not easy, especially when some of our most difficult feelings are involved.
Telling the truth about what we have done is called ‘confessing our sins’,2. and telling the truth about what has been done to us is called ‘confessing the sins of others’.
In order to move forward with confession, it is necessary to create a safe environment where we can share. We have found that the best way to do this is for a portion of our time spent together to split the group along gender lines. Then we divide people into smaller groups of approximately six, of whom two will be trained leaders who have experience of being in this type of small group, and are able to guide. This structure allows us to share deeply from our hearts over time.

1. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is a 1966 Italian epic
spaghetti Western film directed by Sergio Leone.
2. James 5:15-16 NASB

Spirituality

This struggle within oneself is what is called ‘spirituality’.

A second reason for Living Waters is that many people desire to grow in their relationship with God. In European societies, lots of people experience what Augustine of Hippo (354-430) called ‘the weakness of the will’.3. Our will is a kind of mixture of our feelings and intentions. This means that we want to do morally good things but find ourselves either unable or unwilling to do them, or worse, we wish to avoid doing things considered morally wrong, yet we find ourselves doing them or wanting to (Romans 7:14-25). Augustine was building on what Paul the Apostle had already written over three hundred years before. No one had illustrated the conflict between our two natures better than Paul. It remains a deeply human problem.
We find ‘the willingness is present’ to do what is morally good, but we need help and support in the ‘doing of the good’.
This struggle within oneself is what is called ‘spirituality’. It is crucial to our relationship with God. We will need ongoing support in this effort and understanding people to walk alongside us with our challenges.
The journey begins as we acknowledge ‘it is He that hath made us and not we ourselves’ 4. Though our will is weak, there is grace available from our maker. Grace is a spiritual power that comes to us when we pray. It empowers us to do the morally good and avoid doing the morally wrong.
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3. (Siedentop, L.) Inventing the Individual. Random House 2014.
ch. 8.
4. Psalm 100:3 KJV

Community

Relationships express ‘community’.

Thirdly, people are social beings who want to relate to other like-minded persons who they can support and who can support them. This type of inner journey is not something we want to go on alone.
Everyone’s journey in life begins with the union of ‘male and female’,5. our fathers and mothers. We were all born into some form of alliance, be it a marriage, a partnership, or even an abusive relationship. Either way, the ties formed between us were more than just physical; they were emotional and spiritual bonds. As children, we did not choose our parents or siblings; we just had to adjust to the situation into which we were pitched.
Deep distress was caused if the bonds between our family members were strained or broken in the years before we were ready to navigate independently. If our experience was that relationships with either of our parents or any of our siblings did not go well, we may have developed a style of relating to people that didn’t serve us well. We would probably have been left with a strong desire for new relationships in which we could receive unfailing love and acceptance. Because of this, we must find trustworthy people who can enrich our lives. At a psychological level, they will most likely be people who resemble in some way a ‘better version’ of our original parents or siblings. These relationships express ‘community’.

5. Genesis 1:27-28 NASB

Freedom

Pursuing a biblical ethic leads to ‘freedom’.

We continue to be people who wish to live our lives according to biblical principles. The historic Judeo-Christian faiths, which have influenced Western culture for millennia, have produced modern churches, spiritual organisations, and synagogues in Europe. Many of these movements exist precisely to meet this need.
S*xuality has become a political football in our day, and there is much confusion about what to believe. In this context, an increasing number of people want to process their s*xuality within a supportive organisation that values them despite what proclivities they may express. This constitutes the fourth reason Living Waters exists; namely, for the freedom to pursue a biblical ethic, particularly regarding our emotional and s*xual behaviours.
We have noticed the difficulties that arise when we try to express our views on s*xuality in public. We feel that there is a decline in the expression of freedom. Media sensations, questionable medical procedures, and high-profile court cases have added to the sense of confusion surrounding the expression of the most private aspects of our relating.
We belong to a group of people who choose to restrict ourselves to a single s*xual partner or none, not because we are somehow s*xually averse but because we have come to believe that the biblical view is the one that makes the most sense. However, we have chosen a path that is contested, living according to biblical principles is looked on as old-fashioned, and having biblical views is seen as unjust.

Summary And Conclusion

The good news is that most of these values can be regained. Honesty is not forever lost, spirituality can be revived, communities are able reconnect, and freedom may yet flourish. When people start to speak accurately and honestly about themselves, it not only leads to changes in those people’s perceptions, but in the long term, it creates more trustworthy people. As we engage in the spiritual struggle more deeply, we discover our humanity, and in due course we develop a greater compassion towards others. Community building is a long-term project, but its legacy is a group of people whose lives have been substantially enriched. People who can speak about their s*xuality can also speak about anything else that matters in their lives.

Postscript

For these and many other reasons, Living Waters 6 maintains its continued relevance.

Andy Chambers
Living Waters Chairman

6. Living Waters (Suomen Elävät Vedet ry) is a support group for
people who desire to grow in their emotions, relationships, and
s*xuality

Suomen Elävät Vedet ry Suomen Elävät Vedet ry on kirkkokuntiin sitoutumaton kristillinen palvelujärjestö, jonka tarkoituksena on rohkaista seurakuntaa osallistumaan Kristuksen parantavaan työhön, jotta tunne-elämältään ja ihmissuhteissaan rikkinäiset uudistuisivat ja eheytyisivät. Usko...

02/09/2022

SOUL SURGERY

Recently I met with some men who had become aware that they had behaved badly, they had reached a stage in their lives where they desired to change their behaviour. How does change happen?

Confidentiality
The process of change is engaged when a person who is seeking help finds someone in whom they can confide. This creates a safe space and a relationship of trust begins. The therapist, counsellor, pastor or small group leader must be able to keep their confidence. Confidentiality is so important that a person who is seeking help will usually not properly engage in the process of change without it. If written notes are made by either the client or the therapist they should be stored in a secure place.

Disclosure
When a relationship of trust has been established the person who is seeking help will usually begin by getting honest about the real state of affairs behind their public persona. They will share the matters that they feel guilty about. These may be recent actions or failures but include events from the remote past. Often they will share things that they have never told to anyone else before. This self- disclosure is therapeutic and is sometimes accompanied by a feeling of relief or as a weight being lifted off.

Decision
As the person who is seeking help becomes honest they are in fact taking a step towards taking responsibility for their part in whatever has happened. In time a deep desire to change takes root and at some point an inner decision is made. This may come with heart-rending tears or may come as a quiet inner conviction. It is not the phenomena that is important, but the decision is. As the person’s conviction grows and their will strengthens they are empowered to act on their own decision.

Change
When the will of a person is engaged it is often accompanied by a spiritual renewal. This is felt as an awakening of their conscience and it can be disorientating. The person will usually want to put matters right with those who they have wronged. For some people this happens spontaneously, for others the advice of their therapist, counsellor, pastor or small group leader can help. Still others are motivated through reading or listening to inspirational speeches. The person experiences new motivation and their life takes a new direction.

Repetition
The most neglected part of this process is repetition. A person who is seeking help will need to consider that there may be more wrong in their life than they originally thought. The lessons learnt by asking for help, creating trust, making disclosure, uncovering deep convictions, etc., should be applied to other areas of life.
Unfortunately, a one time effort is usually not enough. The person will need to build other relationships of trust through which they can receive ongoing support. Through this they will build a new lifestyle.

Restitution
One further aspect of this process is the need to make restitution i.e. to put right, as far as possible, any wrong done. For examples, returning stolen goods; writing letters of apology to people who you have harmed or deceived; and repayment of taxes. In some cases you may need to consult with your therapist, counsellor, pastor or small group leader in order to determine what the best course of action would be. Those who follow this principle discover freedom from their past and change in their future.
Part of the reason that people seek help is that they become aware that they have misbehaved and that their misbehaviour has impacted others. Help to change is available.

11/12/2021

The Process of Change

Recovery is the end result of a series of personal changes.

When applying for therapy clients will be asked to fill in an Intake Form. One of the most important questions it asks is this, How strongly do you want therapy for your problem? This question concerns motivation and the nature of the problem. Most people seeking therapy are doing so because they are facing a crisis. Initially, crisis motivates the therapy. However, as time goes on, a more personal motivation is usually needed to continue the therapeutic process. One thing that is good to keep in mind is that the problem may be solvable or may need to be managed.

The problems and the crises that they cause have deep and lasting affects. When engaging in therapy one should expect that at some point there will be an encounter with deep emotions. The reason for this is that feelings arising from current problems often, over time, stir older unexpressed feelings, feelings that earlier accompanied the most painful experiences in life. Clients will need assistance with examining these deep feelings eg. to whom are they directed towards. Significant change occurs when the full extent of hurt from others is acknowledged as well as the grievous reactions of the client are recognised.

In the later stages of therapy it is vital that a client takes responsibility for building a network of supportive people. One of the great benefits of therapy is that the therapist serves as a supportive relationship for the client. The client learns through accurate and honest conversations to utilise support and hopefully will find other supportive people. Good sources are: Twelve Step recovery groups or church-based small groups.

Therapy can support individuals, couples and families that desire change and growth in their lives.

31/05/2021

WHAT IS THERAPY

Introduction

Individual therapy takes place between two persons where one is the therapist, the other is the client.

The Therapist’s Perspective

The therapist provides a relationship in which the client is empowered to make decisions that are in the client’s best interest. This is done by crafting tailor-made tasks for the client to complete. The tasks enable the client to practice the skills that he or she will need in order to make important decisions in the future. For a limited period of time, the therapist will take on the role of advocating for what is in the client’s best interest.

The Client’s Perspective

From the client’s perspective, a therapeutic situation arises when an environment is offered in which the client is listened to and experiences being understood. This leads to the development of trust in a temporary relationship with the understanding person, the therapist. The client is asked to describe as accurately and as honestly as is possible the exact nature of his or her difficulty or disorder. A supportive relationship ensues.

Conclusion

Individual therapy is the treatment that is provided by the therapist to the client where its intended outcome is recovery.

03/05/2021

“Truth may be unwanted, inconvenient, resented, mocked in all the best places—even harassed, suppressed, and forced underground. But that does not make it anything other than truth.”

— Mary Eberstadt

Eberstadt, M. (2019) Primal screams: How the s*xual revolution created identity politics Templeton Press.

https://maryeberstadt.com

Mary Eberstadt is an influential American writer whose contributions to the intellectual landscape traverse several genres. An author of both non-fiction and fiction, her social commentary draws from various fields including anthropology, intellectual history, philosophy, popular culture, sociology, and theology.

Mary Eberstadt is an influential American writer whose contributions to the intellectual landscape traverse several genres. An author of both non-fiction and fiction, her social commentary draws from various fields including anthropology, intellectual history, philosophy, popular culture, sociology,...

23/04/2021

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive” (Brown 2012, p.75).

--Brown, B. (2012) Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead. London: Penguin.

Researcher. Storyteller. Texan. Courage is contagious. Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver.

10/04/2021

“The care that adults provide nurtures the development of essential mental tools for survival. These attachment experiences enable children to thrive and achieve a highly flexible and adaptive capacity for balancing emotions, thinking, and empathetic connections with others”.

—Daniel Siegel, M.D., and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.

Siegel, D. & Hartzell, M. (2003 p.203) Parenting from the inside out. London: Penguin.

A psychiatrist and an early childhood expert explore the extent to which our childhood experiences shape the way we parent.

03/04/2021

“Covert in**st occurs when a child becomes the object of a parent’s affection, love, passion, and preoccupation. The parent, motivated by the loneliness and emptiness created by a chronically troubled marriage or relationship, makes the child a surrogate partner. The boundary between caring and in**stuous love is crossed when the child exists to meet the needs of the parent rather than the child.”

—Kenneth Adams, Ph.D.

Adams, K. (2011) Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners, Understanding Covert In**st FL: HCI Books

28/03/2021

“Here is the truth: there is no overnight fix for recovery … to establish a viable recovery process takes at least three and a half years and for most up to five years. Becoming sober is not the hardest part. Staying sober is. Making changes in our lives halts the pain. Keeping the changes is what saves our lives.”

—Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.

Carnes, P. (2009) Recovery Zone Volume 1. Making Changes that Last: The Internal Tasks Gentle Path Press.

20/03/2021

“S*x addiction and gaming are affecting our children and the problem is increasing in alarming ways.”

—Carnes & Adams (2020 p.4)
Clinical Management of S*x Addiction-Revised edition

Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., is author of more than 20 books on recovery. He is the founding architect of the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, and the Gentle Path and Willow House programs for s*xual and trauma disorders.

Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., CSAT-S, is a licensed psychologist, faculty member with the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals and founder / clinical director of Kenneth M. Adams and Associates in Michigan.