12/06/2026
Hoping My Experience of Caring May Be Useful to You
Many of us may one day find ourselves in the difficult position of caring for loved ones who can no longer make decisions for themselves.
I would like to share my personal story, as it may help some people, especially those living in Spain who are caring for someone. I wish I could have spoken to someone who knew what I was going through at the time, as it would have helped me so much.
Spain does have both euthanasia and medically assisted dying, which some people are not aware of.
I experienced losing both of my parents here in Spain, and each experience was very different.
My father had bladder cancer and underwent major surgery, leaving him with a colostomy bag. I cared for him for two years through all the ups and downs that came with this life-changing operation.
After two years, he was told the cancer had returned and spread to his lung. He looked at me and cried, saying, “I can’t go through this anymore.”
I tried to comfort him with positive thoughts, telling him we would get through it together and asking him to stay calm. Sadly, the shock took its toll, and he passed away five days later from a major heart attack.
He had often said to me, “I want to go quickly, with no pain or suffering.” In many ways, he got his wish.
Within minutes, the ambulance and police arrived. They were all very kind and compassionate, allowing us time to say our goodbyes. It was still incredibly hard to accept that my dad had gone. He was my best friend.
God bless you, Dad.
My mother was 93, and her journey was very different. She never wanted to die and never wanted to go into a nursing home, so I cared for her at home for almost ten years until she took her last breath.
She had kidney failure, and her lungs were filling with fluid, yet she looked remarkably well and believed she would recover.
My doctor suggested we get palliative care in from Torrevieja Hospital.
The palliative care doctor came to our home, After she examined my mother, she explained to me my mothers body was beginning to shut down. It was so hard to believe because she still looked so well.
The nurses visited every day, and the doctor came weekly during the final four weeks of her life.
Gradually, her body became weaker. First, her legs could no longer support her. Then came the incontinence. We still helped her into a chair every day using a hoist because that was what she wanted.
Eventually, we could no longer move her, and she began refusing food. Her kidneys stopped producing urine altogether, yet she remained cheerful and continued to believe she would get better.
She also began talking about seeing my father and having conversations with him. Deep down, we knew the time was getting close.
The doctor asked if we would agree to medication to help Mum pass peacefully and without suffering. This would mean no food, no drinks, and no movement of her body, but Mum would be comfortable, peaceful, and free from pain as she approached the end of her life.
It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. How do you make a decision like that when the person is still bright in their mind?
I asked if we could wait another through days, and the doctor agreed. Within two days, Mum’s mind started to deteriorate, and she could no longer concentrate on anything. I knew then that it was time.
We agreed with the doctor to insert a syringe pump, which I would manage using the medication they supplied, while they continued to monitor Mum every day until the end.
The palliative care team were absolutely wonderful. They visited daily, monitored Mum closely, and made sure she had everything she needed.
After a couple of days, Mum slipped into a coma-like state, but we were told she could still hear us. We sat with her for hours, talking to her, holding her hand, and playing her favourite music.
As she became more deeply asleep, we continued to play soft music by her bedside for three more days until she peacefully passed away.
There was no suffering, no pain, and no distress. All she knew was peace until she took her final breath.
It was the hardest time of my life, but I am so grateful that I was able to care for my mum and help her through the final stage of her journey with love, dignity, and comfort.
I hope that sharing my story may help someone facing a similar situation. I can highly recommend the palliative care team they were amazing.
If you have any questions, or simply need someone to talk to, I am here.
Please feel free to share, leave a comment , or send me a private message.
God bless Linda.
