30/05/2026
After delays so long that it was nominated for the Deutsche Bahn Lifetime Achievement Award, the summer has finally and truly arrived. At 18°, it was the perfect temperature for 67 runners, 13 volunteers, and several dozen geese who had clearly arrived early to secure the best spectating spots. The goslings, demonstrating better organisational skills than most of us, escorted the crowd of first timers along with the local speed merchants from to the start area.
Our resident Köln Haie Ultra, Jennie, paused her European travel planning spreadsheet long enough to deliver a first timers briefing so smooth it could have been spread on toast. Then Queen of the Weiher Jenny took command as RD, reminding us of parkrun etiquette: keep right and under no circumstances fall into the lake unless you want to become part of the local folklore. She set us off at 9:04 DBST*, once again irritating Bahn officials by adhering to the timetable.
Elena flew home as fastest woman in 23:24, while I achieved my own monumental triumph: matching last year’s PB of not falling into the water even once. A true athletic miracle. Paula finished her 25th run and signed autographs for the goslings who had queued in a perfectly formed line.
Huge thanks to all volunteers for timing, scanning, marshalling, and cheering us with the energy of caffeinated meerkats. And a special thanks to our David Boon lookalike for the glorious photos. We are still searching for barcode #37. Whoever adopted it, please return it. It simply wants to come home and resume its natural life among the other small plastic rectangles who miss it dearly.
And we need more volunteers in upcoming weeks. Yes YOU! the one pretending to tie your shoelace for the fourth consecutive minute to avoid eye contact. Come help us. Be a hero. Or at least be marginally useful next Saturday.
*DBST: Deutsche Bahn Standard Time, the only timetable that becomes more accurate the later it gets.
