He phoned me at work to ask if he could come out to my place for dinner. With no sense of foreboding we agreed on a time and I looked forward to an evening together. He arrived and we had meal and a good visit. Steve was the second born of my four children. He loved getting together with the family and would often organize gatherings. It was always a fun time, he had a very sharp sense of humour a
nd we would all get caught up in the hilarity of the conversation. But he was somewhat subdued on this particular evening. After dinner we sat down in the living room and he told me that he was HIV positive. I had heard of AIDS, but “HIV” confused me. He had to explain what it meant. He had only just got his test results and the two of us were in shock. Gradually, he was able to share the news with the rest of the family and much later with friends. Because of the stigma he was terrified to let people know. Steve had excelled at school. He was very musical and, as well as being accomplished on the piano, he played several instruments in the school band. He had a wonderful group of friends, both boys and girls and they were always getting together for various events. Steve came out when he was 18. His father and I, his brothers and sister and his grandparents accepted his homosexuality without question. He worked and travelled for several years before settling down to attend university. At the time of our dinner together, Steve was 28 years old. Eventually he had to leave school because of illness and fatigue. He suffered two bouts of Pneumocystis pneumonia ( P*P) and lost 40 lbs. He developed Kaposi’s sarcoma and suffered terribly from this painful disease which invaded his whole body. At the beginning of 1990, I left my job in Vancouver and drove back and forth to the West End to help Steve at home and accompany him to his many medical appointments. Finally in August, my husband and I moved Steve and his two cats, Astrophe and Tharsis, to our home in Richmond as he could no longer deal with living on his own. Our family and his friends rallied with frequent visits and outings. Three years after being diagnosed and a long struggle, he was admitted to St. Paul’s palliative care ward. He died on March 26, 1991, at the age of 31. The doctors, staff and volunteers at St. Paul’s hospital were absolutely amazing. I don’t have enough words to describe the wonderful care they gave to their patients. Six years after Steve’s death I took early retirement from work. While looking for a volunteer opportunity in the AIDS field my husband and I met some people in Richmond who were interested in starting a support group. At that time there were no services for people living with HIV/ AIDS in Richmond. As a result, The Heart of Richmond AIDS Society was formed in 1997 and is still going strong today. The Society provides outreach, support and services to persons living with HIV and also presents an HIV 101 educational program to Richmond high school students. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Steve and remember the blessing that he was to our family. He faced his illness with dignity and courage but like so many others was unable to overcome the odds. Link to the original : http://www.vancouversun.com/health/Steven+Smedley+beloved/9235126/story.html
