07/28/2026
Courtesy Flush and More
The following is my opinion and my opinion only and if you disagree ... Too bad.
What a meeting you missed if you were not there. Those of us who were had a veritable
blast. From an opening that sounded like a damp squid to one that was turned into the swelling roar of a revival meeting. Anatomical displays of the 51/2 inch variety and visual demos on using a ship board toilet the revelations were amazing. New phrases were learned such as the “courtesy flush” not the "embarrassed flush”, As for the snacks, fit for royalty and 10 year olds at the movies. The bar was set high, my friends.
If you haven’t guessed it was AT who opened the meeting rousing us from our slothful
lethargy and creating the enthusiastic chant worthy of any revival meeting. He went on to
introduce our chair person by her new nickname “ The Brazilian Bombshell”
Who was there you ask?
PS, who did his homework even though he had no role; Brazilian Bombshell as chair. TB as
grammarian , choosing a word worthy of the theme “Destination”. Pity she forgot to count the usage!! Her listening quiz was top grade and kept us thinking. AT as Sgt at arms, timer
and speaker 2. Boy did he relish his role as timer. I lost count of those he clapped off , bet CA didn't. DJ was Table topics evaluator and me as Table Topics master, this after much
confusion solely created by the recent retiree. CA was the General Evaluator who set out to
“JUDGE “ everyone, then quickly backtracked. SC was there accompanied by mama yet he
still managed to introduce toilet humour to his TT. Lastly CL who started the evening as our
only speaker and as mentioned above was joined by AT. Looks like AT is making up
for lost time as he takes on three roles per meeting!!
The thing I loved most when I joined the “Best Toastmasters club in the Universe" as aspired by AT was how multicultural and multigenerational we were and I am glad to say we still are.
TB in her introduction shared a memory from a childhood trip to the Caspian sea with her
family , a complete contrast to my images of the cold Northern Atlantic. She also shared the
literal translation of a beautiful childhood saying. Not “ are we there yet , are we there yet? “in a whiny voice, the opposite “ Are we there yet , I wish the journey was longer ? Deep down don’t we all?
To the Speeches : CL opened with a lie claiming she was speechless , well she did qualify
it by saying it only lasted 5 secs so I forgive her. I don;t know if her husband will when he learns of her graphic description of his attempt at age defying use of rollerblades sans protection. Suffice to say he has acquired safety gear or did he sell the blades? I digress.
CL spoke of the many ways, in the 5 to 30 secs we have to grab attention at the beginning of a speech, that we can use: Questions , Silence a quote and more. Almost clapped off AT's eyes were alive with anticipation. The speech was educational and interesting and it was off the cuff.
Five and a half inches was all AT needed , he stated, and with his title he hooked us in in
the first five seconds . When he bent forward to adjust his trousers the shock was palatable.
Finally he shows his 51/2 inches of pride.... The scar on his Knee. What followed was a graphic
description of the destruction of a pair of knees and their replacement with the latest titanium fittings. Bionic Man displayed a matching pair in all their glory before he returned to his brutal timekeeping capacity.
Snacks as stated were fabulous and varied provided not only by one GE but by four members. You know who you are cos I'm too lazy to record it. Fresh figs, sliced oranges, watermelon, blueberries for the Royalty and popcorn and skittles for the ten year old in us. Ten minutes was not long enough to devour this feast. Match that folks.
Evaluators SC and NS did adequate jobs though SC was clapped off at 3.33 . As
you may have guessed my notes for this part are pretty bad. I was too busy munching. Talking of bad stuff, that was SC's piece di resistance during table topics as he described his brush with Noro Virus on the wonderful cruise he and his family had last year. Not only did he describe, he demonstrated by using the piano stool as a toilet seat , facial expressions and accompanying noise, including innards being sucked out, had to be witnessed in person.
Table topic questions were ”Marvelous Darling “ staying welded to the theme of Vacations . From “ Hamel dae me” or staycation as you would say to trapped on an aircraft for two hours
during a lightning strike.
Notes only:
DJ practised camping by pitching her tent in the backyard before camping in Yellowstone.
CA ran a marathon then enjoyed Octoberfest in a city he couldn't remember !
Mama enjoyed a very busy cruise with her husband and sons but next time she is going on her own to relax
PS, two hours on a plane runway and crickets from the staff. I know that one.
TB chose a road trip with her dad as her companion.
Bionic Man is heading to mars to spread toastmaster greatness.
SC as mentioned above demonstrated his brush with Noro Virus and introduced me to
the phrase “ Courtesy Flush”
CL, again as described above, relished the story of her fearless eternal youth seeking
husband's skating disaster.
The Brazilian bombshell is not heading to the ski slopes. Thank you, she is staying right here on the beach doing Nada.
Recent retiree is choosing a museum tour over a wine tour and buying a full glass at lunch.
DJ as TTE gave the individuals personal evaluations mentioning everyone's strong points
in an endearing fashion with a special mention for SC's performance. CL took the
ribbon much to no one's surprise.
TB admitted getting lost on the job which is always a danger when we have a really good
meeting. CA had even bigger problems than forgetfulness, he couldn’t read his own
writing. Somehow he managed to make his report. Bionic Man was described as both brutal and ruthless.
Recent Retiree had Great Bridging and suddenly the meeting was over .
Fan daby dozy night.
