09/26/2026
You were the one who got hurt. So why are you still the one carrying it, years later, while they may not even remember?
Fr. Reehil, an exorcist, says people get very confused about forgiveness:
"A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY, I CAN'T FORGIVE BECAUSE I'M STILL ANGRY."
His answer:
"YOU CAN, BUT YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE IT."
You do not have to wait until the anger is gone. He gave the words to say while it still hurts:
"LORD, I'M IN PAIN, BUT I'M CHOOSING TO FORGIVE, AND I ASK YOU TO FORGIVE THIS PERSON THAT HURT ME. AND BLESS AND HEAL THEM."
Not once. Every time the memory comes back:
"AND IF YOU PRAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU HAVE THE BAD FEELING WITH THE MEMORY OF THE HURT, EVENTUALLY GOD DOES THE WORK HE'S TRYING TO DO. AND HE WILL NOT ONLY HEAL YOU, BUT THEM."
Then came the reason, and he said people do not understand it:
"BECAUSE IT'S THE VICTIM THAT HEALS THE PERP."
"AND IT'S NOT FAIR. IT'S NOT EVEN JUST, IT'S WEIRD. BUT THAT'S WHAT GOD CHOOSES TO DO."
Read that again. God does not wait for the one who did it. He works through the one who got hurt. You.
It is the cross, all over again:
"THE PERFECT VICTIM WAS JESUS. WE'RE ALL THE PERPETRATORS OF THE CRIME. HE HEALED US."
And the one who prays is not left out:
"AND IN THE PROCESS, WE ARE ALSO HEALED."
None of this means it was okay, or that you have to let them close again. If it is still happening, get away from it and get help first. A counselor or a priest can help with the rest.
Now think of the name that came to mind. The sister who took sides. The coworker who took the credit. The friend who told everyone what you told only her. They may never make it right. Your part does not have to wait for them. And your children are learning, from you, what to do when someone hurts them.
So the next time it comes back, in the car, at the sink, in the middle of the night, do not fight the memory. Put one hand flat on your chest, where it still hurts, and say this out loud with their name. Ten seconds:
"Lord, I'm in pain, but I'm choosing to forgive ___. Bless and heal ___, and heal me too. Amen."
For a child who comes home hurt by a friend, teach them the small version: "Jesus, it hurts, but I choose to forgive ___. Bless ___. Amen."
๐ One word if you said it with their name, even while it still hurts: FORGAVE. And send this to someone who is tired of carrying it, because they do not have to carry it alone.