Peace River Senior Centre

Peace River Senior Centre Social drop in Centre for pool, crib, canasta, Euchre as well as other card games and hosts to music events, Wednesday suppers, and Thursday quilting bees.

SENIORS SUPPER September 2 will be Meatloaf and Chicken. Sides include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as beverage...
08/27/2026

SENIORS SUPPER September 2 will be Meatloaf and Chicken.
Sides include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as beverages, Anita's home made buns, and a variety of desserts
PLEASE CALL; we need to know if you are attending. So please call 780-624-2700 with your name and number of guests attending before NOON September 1
2026 memberships ($10.00) are available at the door.
Supper prices are $15.00 for members and $18.00 for non members. Also leftovers are available for purchase at $5.00 per serving.
Doors open at 4:30 and buffet starts at 5:30.
All Seniors Centre activities continue through the week!!!
We look forward to seeing you!!!
Have you ever noticed that a man’s “Be home in five minutes” and a woman’s “Be ready in five minutes” is the same amount of time?

There are too many gadgets in these new cars. I just wanted to go in reverse and now it is showing me a video of someone getting run over…

If a man says he will do something, he will do it. There is no need to remind him about it every six months.

When you are in the checkout line and the cashier asks you if you found everything you should say “Why? Are you hiding stuff?”

You can not have a bad day at work if you do not go…

How can you tell if an ant is male or female? If it sinks it is a girl ant, if it floats it is a boy ant.

An old Indian man was asked the name of his wife. He replied “she is named Three Horse..” That is an unusual name for a wife , Three Horse. What does it mean?” The old fellow replied “it is an old indian name it means Nag, nag, nag…”

The young lady snuggled up to her boyfriend and said “tell me something that will make me feel like a woman..” The boyfriend replied “ok you don’t know how to parallel park..”

SENIORS SUPPER August 26 will be Pork Ribs and Chicken. Sides include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as beverages...
08/20/2026

SENIORS SUPPER August 26 will be Pork Ribs and Chicken.
Sides include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as beverages, Anita's home made buns, and a variety of desserts
PLEASE CALL; we need to know if you are attending. So please call 780-624-2700 with your name and number of guests attending before NOON August 25th
2026 memberships are available at the door each week. $10.00.
Supper prices are $15.00 for members and $18.00 for non members. Also leftovers are available for purchase at $5.00 per serving.
Doors open at 4:30 and buffet starts at 5:30.
All Seniors Centre activities continue through the week!!!
We look forward to seeing you!!!

The woman is at the doctors complaining “My husband talks in his sleep..” The doctor replied, “Try letting him talk during the day.”

Two refined gentlemen were talking. One said to the other “I just wrote a book on penguins.” The other man replied “It probably would have been easier to write it on paper..” .

The Doctor said “Your husband needs rest and peace, here are some sleeping pills.” The wife asked, “when should I give them to him?” The Doctor replied “They are for you.”

Did you hear about the cement mix truck that collided with the prison van? Police are advising folks to be on the lookout for hardened criminals.

The young boy said “Grandpa, do you mind if I played my harmonica?” Grandpa replied “not at all, in fact music saved my life.” “ What happened?” asked the grandson.
Grandpa replied “Well it was during the famous Johnson flood. The dam broke and when the water hit our house it knocked it right off it’s foundation. Grandma got on the dining room table and floated off safely.” The grandson said “what about you?” Grandpa replied “ I accompanied her on the piano…”

The husband comes home and lays down the law. “I am the man of this house, so tomorrow I want you to have a hot delicious meal ready the minute I walk through the door, Afterwards, while watching the ball game and relaxing in my chair, you will bring my slippers and rub my back. And when I am done my bath guess who is dress me and comb my hair?” the wife replies “The funeral director…”

SENIORS SUPPER August 19 will be Pork Chops and, Meat Balls Sides include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as bever...
08/13/2026

SENIORS SUPPER August 19 will be Pork Chops and, Meat Balls
Sides include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as beverages, Anita's home made buns, and a variety of desserts

PLEASE CALL; we need to know if you are attending. So please call 780-624-2700 with your name and number of guests attending before NOON August 18th
2026 memberships are available at the door each week. $10.00.
Supper prices are $15.00 for members and $18.00 for non members. Also leftovers are available for purchase at $5.00 per serving.
Doors open at 4:30 and buffet starts at 5:30.
All Seniors Centre activities continue through the week!!!
We look forward to seeing you!!!

The trouble with retirement is that I never get a day off.

I asked my wife “Why did you marry me?” She replied “Because you are funny..”. I said “I thought it was because I was good in bed.” She said “See, you are hilarious..”

The wife called the husband and said “I’ve got good news and band news.” Husband replied “Give me the good news first.” The wife replied “The airbags in the new car work..”

As you get older, you have to stay positive. For example, last week I fell down the stairs. As I laid there at the bottom instead of getting upset I thought “wow that is the fastest I have moved in years…”

John is having a bad day. When he buttoned his shirt, his button fell off. When he picked up his briefcase the handle fell off, when he went to open the door the doorknob fell off. Now he is afraid to p*e.

My wife asked me “Do you know what it means to come home to a house where the wife gives you love and affection?” My reply “Yes, it means I am in the wrong house…”

A man went to the police station asking to speak to the burglar who broke into his house. The sergeant at the desk said “ you will get your chance in court.” The man replied, “no, no no, I want to know how he sneaked in without waking my wife. I have been trying to do that for years.”

08/08/2026

The Seniors Supper menu for August 12th is Ham & Scalloped Potatoes and Chicken. If you haven't already done so please call 780-624-2700 to have your name added to our list. Please call today or before noon on Tuesday August 11
Jokes not told last week

If you’re over 35, it’s time to forget about younger girls and find a mature woman who recognizes the signs of a stroke.

Out of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.

Two reasons I don’t give money to the homeless:
One is they’d spend it on booze.
Two is I want to spend it on booze.

As I gazed into her eyes, my knees got weak and I could feel butterflies in my stomach… I knew right then and there I had put the roofies in the wrong glass.

Opening the fridge door every 15 minutes, not because you expect new food to magically appear, but because your standards lower each time you look.

I was told to “Check my attitude.” I did and it’s still there.

I watch so many crime programs when I turn off the TV I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

SENIORS SUPPER Wednesday August 5th will be Pulled Pork, Hamburgers, and Potato Salad Sides include potatoes, vegetables...
07/30/2026

SENIORS SUPPER Wednesday August 5th will be Pulled Pork, Hamburgers, and Potato Salad
Sides include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as beverages, Anita's home made buns, and a variety of desserts
PLEASE CALL; we need to know if you are attending. So please call 780-624-2700 with your name and number of guests attending before NOON August 4th
2026 memberships are available at the door each week. $10.00.
Supper prices are $15.00 for members and $18.00 for non members. Also leftovers are available for purchase at $5.00 per serving.
Doors open at 4:30 and buffet starts at 5:30.
All Seniors Centre activities continue through the week!!!
We look forward to seeing you!!! ..

A daughter asks “Mom , how did humans come to exist?”
The mom replies “You see, God created Adam and Eve…”
Her son interrupted “Dad said we evolved from apes.”
The mom said “ That was his family, I am telling you about my side.”

Apparently “Naked hiking means no phone, no GPS, and no music.”
I wish someone would have told me that sooner.

If you weigh 220 pounds on Earth, you weigh 84 pounds on Mars, and 13 pounds on Pluto. So you are not fat, you are just on the wrong planet.

Two men walked into a bar, the third man ducked…

A limbo dance competitor walked into a bar, he was disqualified.

A little boy said “I’m named after my grandfather.” The teacher asked “Ohm then what is your name?” The little boy replied “Grandpa…”

What is green, fuzzy, has four legs, and kills you when it falls from a tree? A pool table
Three days ago I renamed my wifi to: “Police Surveillance Van #2” This morning the lady across the street was p*eking out between the blinds of her front window. Another was mowing his lawn at 06:30 am, the teen ager next door has not smoked in three days and just sits staring at his computer screen like he is under investigation.
The whole neighborhood has suddenly become very quiet and law abiding.
And me. I haven’t had this much peace and quiet in years .

Having a junk yard in your back yard is like eating chips in church. Ever one looks at you in disgust but but deep down they all want one too.

SENIORS SUPPER Wednesday July 29 will be Chicken, Meat Balls and Spaghetti .Sides include potatoes, vegetables, salad ...
07/23/2026

SENIORS SUPPER Wednesday July 29 will be Chicken, Meat Balls and Spaghetti .
Sides include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as beverages, Anita's home made buns, and a variety of desserts

PLEASE CALL; we need to know if you are attending. So please call 780-624-2700 with your name and number of guests attending before NOON July 28th
2026 memberships are available at the door each week. $10.00.
Supper prices are $15.00 for members and $18.00 for non members. Also leftovers are available for purchase at $5.00 per serving.
Doors open at 4:30 and buffet starts at 5:30.
All Seniors Centre activities continue through the week!!!
We look forward to seeing you!!!

I have determined that the big fish bite twice a day, once just before I get there, and then once after I leave.
How come there is enough asphalt for sp*ed bumps but not enough to fill potholes?

My problem solving skills are great, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.
Remember, you are only young once, but you can be immature for ever..

An elderly man was on the operating table awaiting surgery to be preformed by his son, a renowned Surgeon. Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son: “Don’t be nervous son, do your best, and just remember , if it does not go well , if something happens to me … Your mother is coming to live with your and your wife.

To be old and wise, first One must survive being young and stupid!

Motherhood turns you into a morning person in the same way being chased by a bear turns you into a runner.

I never wish for death for those who wrong me. I do wish them sudden explosive diarrhea while stuck in traffic with frequent sneezing.

SENIORS SUPPER Wednesday July 22 will be Liver and Onions, Roast Beef and Horse Radish Sides include potatoes, vegetab...
07/18/2026

SENIORS SUPPER Wednesday July 22 will be Liver and Onions, Roast Beef and Horse Radish
Sides include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as beverages, Anita's home made buns, and a variety of desserts
Thank you to Peace River FCSS (Family and Community Suppport Services ) for being a continuous sponsor for the seniors supper
PLEASE CALL; we need to know if you are attending. So please call 780-624-2700 with your name and number of guests attending before NOON July 21st.
2026 memberships are available at the door each week. $10.00.
Supper prices are $15.00 for members and $18.00 for non members. Also leftovers are available for purchase at $5.00 per serving.
Doors open at 4:30 and buffet starts at 5:30.
All Seniors Centre activities continue through the week!!!
We look forward to seeing you!!!

The folks with children who complain about stepping on Lego are not old enough to remember stepping on Jacks.

The seniors arts and crafts club decided to have a contest to make the best neck wear – it ended up in a tie.
My stomach is FLAT, but the L is silent…

The other day I told my wife I changed my mind, her reply, I hope the new one works better than the old one…

I entered ten puns into a pun contest to see which pun would win – no pun in ten did .

Apparently it is only safe to say x, “Look at you, you have got so big” to children – for some reason adults get offended.

I was upset when the neighbor put a fence around his swimming pool , but I got over it..

I did not learn left and right until I was a teenager. My GPS has learned to say “the other left, turn the other left…”
The Doctor said I should spend an hour a day on the treadmill. A treadmill is one of the most unpleasant places to take a nap

SENIORS SUPPER Wednesday July 15th will be Meat Loaf and Chicken Sides will include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well ...
07/10/2026

SENIORS SUPPER Wednesday July 15th will be Meat Loaf and Chicken
Sides will include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as beverages, Anita's home made buns, and a variety of desserts
Thank you to Peace River Value Drug Mart for sponsoring the June 10 seniors supper
PLEASE CALL; we need to know if you are attending. So please call 780-624-2700 with your name and number of guests attending before NOON July 14th.
2026 memberships are available at the door each week. $10.00.
Supper prices are $15.00 for members and $18.00 for non members. Also leftovers are available for purchase at $5.00 per serving.
Doors open at 4:30 and buffet starts at 5:30.
All Seniors Centre activities continue through the week!!!
We look forward to seeing you!!!

My wife gets angry with me when I am acting like an idiot, but the jokes on her, I’m not acting.

A boy was looking after his baby sister while his parents went to town. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. Later that evening He told his mother “I will never do that again, I didn’t catch a thing.” The mom replied “Oh, next time I am sure she will be quiet and not scare the fish away.” The boy said, “she didn’t make any noise but she ate all the bait..”

Words to live by, Money can’t buy you happiness but it is more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than while riding a bicycle.

Help some one in trouble and they will remember you when they are in trouble again.
Alcohol does not solve any problems but then again neither does milk or tea.

Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won’t be happy until some one really does lose an eye.
The other day a woman called 911 requesting an ambulance. The 911 operator asked “what is the problem?” The woman replied “ I stubbed my toe on the coffee table.” The operator said “That doesn’t seem to be enough for an ambulance.” The woman replied “The ambulance is for my husband, he shouldn’t have laughed.”

A road runners maximum sp*ed is 48 km/ hour, a coyotes maximum sp*ed is 72 km/ hour , What else from our child hood was a lie…

Everyone at the gym was asking why I was sitting on the stationary bike and not pedaling. I replied “Isn’t it obvious? I am coasting downhill.”

And finally – I discovered that Great “Hide and Seek” players are hard to find.

This week we thank Peace River Value Drug Mart for supporting the July 8 seniors supper again
07/10/2026

This week we thank Peace River Value Drug Mart for supporting the July 8 seniors supper again

July 1 is Canada Day so no seniors supper 'till July 8 When the menu will be Ribs and Chicken Sides will include potat...
06/25/2026

July 1 is Canada Day so no seniors supper 'till July 8 When the menu will be Ribs and Chicken

Sides will include potatoes, vegetables, salad as well as beverages, Anita's home made buns, and a variety of desserts
Thank you to MNP – Meyers Norris Penny -for sponsoring the June 24th seniors supper
PLEASE CALL; we need to know if you are attending. So please call 780-624-2700 with your name and number of guests attending before NOON July 7 th.
2026 memberships are available at the door each week. $10.00.
Supper prices are $15.00 for members and $18.00 for non members. Also leftovers are available for purchase at $5.00 per serving.
Doors open at 4:30 and buffet starts at 5:30.
All Seniors Centre activities continue through the week!!!
We look forward to seeing you!!!

Things you will never hear a husband say
“No, that wasn’t the dog, that was me.”
“OK, who left the toilet seat up?”
“Do these camouflage pants make my bottom look fat?”
“I will have a light salad and a diet ginger ale”
“looks like it is time to buy new underwear.”

Grand said last weeks jokes were groaners, - challenge accepted.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator

A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender says “I will serve you but don’t start anything.

I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, But I was delighted.

I used to have a fear of hurdles but I got over it.

What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey

I was thinking of learning braille but they told me it was a touchy subject.

To the guy who invented ZERO, thanks for nothing.

When I proposed years ago– she was happy and said “What about a date for the wedding?” I replied. I thought I was going to take you

Address

10301/101 Street
Peace River, AB
T8S1K7

Telephone

780-624-2700

Website

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