"One Life" Bereaved by suicide Canada

08/09/2024

"You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once"

You lose them over and over, sometimes many times a day.
When the loss, momentarily forgotten,
creeps up, and attacks you from behind.
Fresh waves of grief as the realization hits home, they are gone.
Again.
You don’t just lose someone once,
you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,
and as you awaken,
so does your memory,
so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,
they are gone.
Again.
Losing someone is a journey, not a one-off.
There is no end to the loss, there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat, when it washes over.
Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea, they have a journey ahead of them,
and a daily shock to the system each time they realize, they are gone,
Again.
You don’t just lose someone once,
you lose them every day, for a lifetime.

Author &/ Artist: Donna Ashworth

(Credit Goes to the respective Author and Artist )

06/20/2024

I missed you quietly today. So quietly that no one noticed.
I missed you as I climbed out of bed and as I brushed my teeth; when I waited at the lights on the drive into work and as I heard the rain outside my window.
I missed you as I ordered lunch and as I kicked off my shoes when I got home; as I switched off the lights and climbed into bed for the night.
I missed you without tears or noise or fanfare.
But oh how I felt it.
I felt it in the morning, at lunchtime, in the evening and at night. I felt it as I woke, as I waited, as I worked. I felt it at home, on the road, in the light, in the dark, in the rain.
I felt it in every one of those moments, each one sitting heavier and heavier as the weight of me missing you kept growing and growing.
Yes, I missed you so quietly today.
But I felt it so loudly.
***
Becky Hemsley 2024
Artwork by IvanTurcin

12/24/2023

12/17/2023

I’m leaving you here. For one night I want to forget. And maybe smile.

Grief: You can’t leave me behind.

I’m tired. You are heavy. Sometimes you are just too much to bear.

Grief: I am a part of you now.

I can shut the door. Forget you for a few hours.

Grief. That is not how this works. I will always catch up to you.

Why are you doing this to me? It’s not fair. You are much too dark to take everywhere I go.

Grief: Maybe we need another way to think about this.

How would there be any other way?

Grief: Well..for starters, I am only here because of love.

No. You are here because my loved one died.

Grief: But you still feel love.

Always.

Grief: You just renamed me. That is why I am here. I am Love always. You can’t just leave me. I’m a part of you.

But it hurts so much. No more phone calls. Hugs... Plans. Empty chairs. Holidays… I can’t take this pain.

Grief. Running from me only makes it harder for you. Sit with me. I am only the love you still have to give. So feel it. Give some of it to yourself. Carry me with you. Picture me as only love and light.

So why have I been so afraid of you?

Grief. Because reality is hard to accept. This is the hardest thing to do. It takes time to get used to me. But I am here to help you remember.

I just want to be over this.

Grief: The pain you feel when a memory crosses your mind will someday make you smile. It’s because the longer you carry me with you…the wonderful memories will stay with you too.

So instead of carrying grief…I can think of it as carrying my love?

Grief: light a candle within me. Love isn’t dark. I’m only light. I remain because all your love your person still remains in you. I am love you wish to still give. I cannot be left behind. I carry on with you until the day you reunite.

So hold that light in your hand. And carry that love with you. To the very last of days.