08/12/2025
The Nonsuch burrow is back - and this time the humans are in the hot seat too, with J-P Rouja, Jeremy Madeiros, and Dr. Carika Weldon dragged right into the middle of the feathered drama, and Island Style Scandal…
Previously on Who’s the Daddy?
Last season, J-P had the CahowCams rolling when our young leading lady Cahow, newly matched with recently widowed burrow boss Sampson, was caught on the 24/7 LiveStream getting friendly with another male while Sampson was still out at sea. Jeremy, Bermuda’s Cahow whisperer, watched in disbelief as Sampson came barreling back into CahowCam2, launched a furious flurry of wings, and evicted the interloper, leaving the audience and researchers asking: “Will Sampson really be the daddy of their chick?”
That chick, a survivor of a brutal tropic bird attack, had its blood carefully collected by the Ettrick vets and sent by the Nonsuch team to BioQuest, where Carika and her genomics crew lined up the ultimate test: no speculation, just DNA receipts. The Sequel > Hurricane Melissa: Love, Lies, and Burrow Fights
Fast forward to this season and cut to the approach of Hurricane Melissa. While J-P is checking storm tracks and livestream feeds, a new twist hits the script: a second male slips into CahowCam2 and snuggles up with the same female the night before the storm. Jeremy and J-P watch live as the wind howls outside and things heat up underground - once again, no Sampson in sight, and every viewer knows this is not going to end peacefully.
5 days later on the night of November 4th, Sampson blasts back into the burrow, and the cameras capture a 30-minute, all-out brawl that has Jeremy genuinely worried he’s watching a fatal fight, Sampson’s had enough, and this time its not a simple eviction. Eventually the badly beaten male crawls out, catches his breath, and flies off into the dark, fate unknown, leaving Sampson and his mate alone - along with a huge question mark over any future chick’s paternity.
Jeremy, J-P, and Carika: Ringmasters of the Chaos
From his screens, J-P plays the role of live show producer, juggling camera angles and timestamps while the audience blows up the chat with theories, nicknames, and accusations - some even suggesting the new female be dubbed “Jezebel.” Jeremy brings decades of Cahow experience to the commentary, pointing out that Sampson’s first mate, Suzie, used to arrive within hours of him for 14 straight years, which meant no intruders, no fights, and an 85% breeding success rate.
Carika enters as the science anchor, turning all this chaos into hard data through a species-wide genomic population study with BioQuest and Nonsuch Expeditions. While everyone else asks, “Who’s cheating on whom?” she’s asking the deeper questions: how often does this happen across the colony, how faithful are Cahows really, and what does that mean for a species that nearly went extinct?
Dec 9th Live DNA Reveal: The Big Episode
On December 9th, J-P, Jeremy, and Carika take this saga from the burrow to the stage in a special DENR-Nonsuch Expeditions–BioQuest talk at the BUEI where the DNA test results from the earlier “Who’s the Daddy?” chick will finally be revealed. Expect Maury / Jerry-Springer-level suspense with real-world stakes as they:
- Reveal whether Sampson is truly the father—or whether a mystery male has been quietly passing on his genes.
- Show how the 24/7 CahowCams and genomics together are exposing secret trysts that would otherwise stay hidden in the dark.
- Explain what this means for dominant males like Sampson if they can’t sync with their mates and risk losing their genetic legacy in a critically endangered species.
If you’ve followed the Who’s the Daddy posts on NonsuchIsland.com, this Dec 9th event is the live finale you can’t skip. Come watch J-P cue the clips, Jeremy break down the burrow behavior, and Carika drop the genomic truth bombs that will reshape what we think we know about Cahow “monogamy” and the future of Bermuda’s rarest seabirds.
Next up on the Nonsuch Show:
Alright, let’s talk about your momma’s Bermuda cedar - because the real question isn’t how tall it is, it’s whose pollen has been sneaking into those cones. Is that tree carrying the proud legacy of the hometown hero, the native Bermuda cedar Juniperus bermudiana, or did some smooth‑talking out‑of‑towner, Juniperus virginiana, blow in on the wind and “contribute” to the family line? Both species are wind‑pollinated - so if a lonely female Bermuda cedar is standing next to a male Virginia cedar, that pollen match‑up is not just possible, it’s scientifically likely. Researchers have documented real hybrids and Virginia genes have been creeping into the Bermuda cedar gene pool for decades diluting the original island lineage, to the point that most new trees are likely hybrids. So until the BioQuest lab runs its DNA, the verdict on your momma’s cedar stays classic Jerry style: “Bermuda cedar… you MIGHT be the daddy.”
Score your tickets to the event at bdatix.bm.
*AI Notice: The facts and the story are JP’s and legit, but we used AI to help tweak the script.
Tonight on the Nonsuch Show: “Who’s the Daddy?” The Nonsuch burrow is back - and this time the humans are in the hot seat too, with J-P Rouja, Jeremy Madeiros, and Dr. Carika Weldon dragged right into the middle of the feathered drama, and Island Style Scandal… Previously on Who’s t
