Sexual activity does not only mean having sexual in*******se. In other words it does not have to involve pe*******on, force or pain. It can be inappropriate fondling of a child’s body such as ge****ls, buttocks or chest. It can be inappropriate viewing of a child’s body without touching. It can be the adult asking the child to inappropriately view or touch those same parts of the adult’s body. All for the offender’s own interest and sexual gratification. All of this is harmful to children. WHY DO MOST CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE CASES GO UN-REPORTED?
88% of abuse is never reported
•Victims feel ashamed, guilty and or embarrassed
•Victims feel that they will be blamed or not believed
•Victims feel afraid that the abuser will harm them or a member of their family
•Victims don’t want a very private matter made public especially in a small community as ours. WHO ABUSES CHILDREN? Those that mo**st children look and act just like everyone else. They are drawn to settings where they can gain access to our children such as sport leagues, clubs, schools, and/or faith- based centers. Abusers can be neighbors, friends or family members. According to the Darkness to Light organization:
•39% of offenders are family members (Snyder, 2000)
•56% of offenders are acquaintances of the child or family – (such as friends of the family, a babysitter, neighbors) (Snyder, 2000)
•ONLY 5% of offenders are strangers (Snyder, 2000)
WHAT ARE SOME CHARACTERISTICS OF A CHILD MOLESTER?
•Child mo**sters groom victims and their families
•Child mo**sters are manipulative
•Child mo**sters seduce their victims
•Child mo**sters are as sick as their secrets
•Child mo**sters look for easy opportunities
•Control is one of the issues
•There is denial and minimization
•For a child mo**ster it is not about the act itself; it’s about how it makes them feel
•A good child mo**ster will take his time and work at it – it can begin with gaining trust, seduction with back rubs, foot rubs which leads to a bond, tickling etc.
•If a child says “NO” and is firm, then it’s more likely a child mo**ster will move on to another child
•They pay more attention to the child than the adults (RED FLAG)
•How do they choose their child? The child is neglected, lacks confidence, anger against their parents, retaliation against their parents or caregivers.
•Many child mo**sters have been abused themselves
HOW CAN A VICTIM BEGIN THE HEALING PROCESS?
•The victim must be told that he or she IS NOT TO BLAME
•Let the child know that you will do everything you can to keep the child safe
•Offer praise to the victim for the courage it took to reveal the secret
•Sexual Abuse against children is against the law. Seek professional help for the child as soon as possible
•The abused child must see consequences and accountability bestowed on the perpetrator in order to begin the healing process
•Victims and their families need time to recover from the trauma
•The way a victim’s family responds to sexual abuse plays a crucial role in the victim’s recovery
IMAGINE THE EMOTIONS OF A 9 YEAR OLD CHILD THAT HAS BEEN ABUSED:
You’re 9 years old and your Uncle, Stepfather, family friend, or soccer coach starts rubbing your leg or touches your private parts – imagine how the child would feel? CONFUSED: “Why is he/she doing this?” I don’t understand!”
SCARED: Traumatized, paralyzed with fear – “he or she will
hurt me.”
GUILTY: “What did I do to cause this?”
SHAMEFUL: “I feel embarrassed and ashamed – sometimes it
feels good.”
SAD: “Hopelessness, no one will believe me, he or she
won’t stop.”
ANGRY: “How dare you do this?” “You’re a fake, liar,
imposter!” “I hate you!” “I hate my life!” "I don’t
care about anything.” "You didn’t protect me.”
“I give up!”
