19/05/2026
This Domestic and Family Violence Month, we are encouraging our communities to Defy the Norm and challenge what they think they know about domestic and family violence (DFV).
DFV doesn't always leave bruises. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where someone manipulates another person into doubting their memory, judgement, or reality. The term “gaslighting” comes from the name of a 1938 play and 1944 film, “Gaslight,” in which a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she has a mental illness. Gaslighting can happen in a variety of ways. Some examples include:
Countering: Questioning a person’s memory. They may say things such as, “Are you sure about that? I think you are forgetting what really happened.”
Withholding: Pretending to not understand the conversation or refusing to listen to make a person doubt themselves. For example, they might say, “Now you are just confusing me,” or
“I do not know what you are talking about.”
Trivialising: Belittling or trivialising how someone else feels. They may accuse them of being “too sensitive” or overreacting in response to valid and reasonable concerns.
Denial: Denial involves a person refusing to take responsibility for their actions. They may do this by pretending to forget what happened, saying they did not do it, or blaming their
behavior on someone else.
Diverting: With this technique, a person changes the focus of a discussion by questioning the other person’s credibility. For example, they might say, “That is just nonsense you read
on the internet. It is not real.”
Stereotyping: A 2019 article suggests that a person may intentionally use negative stereotypes about someone’s gender, race, ethnicity, sexuality, nationality, or age to gaslight them. For example, they may say that no one will believe a woman if she reports abuse. Over time, this can deeply impact confidence, wellbeing, and decision-making.
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