23/10/2026
Backbiting, Slander, Gossip and Tale-Carrying: Protecting the Honour and Dignity of Others
By Dr Rateb Jneid
In Islam, protecting the honour, dignity and reputation of others is a serious responsibility. Our words can bring people together, strengthen relationships and resolve disagreements. However, they can also cause division, damage reputations, destroy friendships and create lasting harm.
Backbiting, slander, gossip and tale-carrying are harmful behaviours that can spread through families, workplaces, community organisations and social media. Although these terms are related, they have different meanings. Understanding them is an important step towards building a more respectful, united and compassionate community.
1. What is backbiting?
Backbiting, known in Arabic as Gheebah (الغيبة), means speaking about someone in their absence in a way they would dislike, even if what is being said is true.
For example, discussing another person's personal weaknesses, family problems, mistakes or private affairs without a legitimate reason may constitute backbiting.
The Prophet Mohammed ﷺ explained that backbiting is to mention something about your brother that he would dislike. When asked what if the statement was true, he explained that if it is true, it is backbiting; if it is false, it is slander.
The seriousness of backbiting is emphasised in the Qur'an:
“Do not backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would detest it.” (Qur'an 49:12)
This powerful comparison reminds us how deeply hurtful and unacceptable backbiting is.
2. What is slander?
Slander, known in Arabic as Buhtan (البهتان), involves making false statements or accusations about another person.
It includes inventing stories, spreading false allegations, attributing words or actions to someone that they never said or did, and damaging someone's reputation through lies.
Slander is particularly harmful because it can cause people to lose trust in one another, damage families and relationships, and undermine a person's standing in the community.
Before repeating an accusation, we must ask ourselves: Do I know this is true? Do I have reliable evidence? Am I being fair to the person concerned?
Repeating an allegation does not make it true, and a rumour does not become a fact simply because many people believe it.
3. What is gossip?
Gossip involves casually discussing other people's personal affairs, relationships, mistakes or private matters, often without their knowledge or permission.
Gossip may be presented as innocent conversation, curiosity or concern. Someone might begin by saying, “Have you heard what happened?” or “I probably shouldn't tell you this, but…”
Such conversations can quickly become harmful when they expose private information, encourage people to judge others, or spread stories that have not been verified.
Even when gossip contains some truth, it may still constitute backbiting if it involves speaking about someone in their absence in a way they would dislike.
We should not assume that something is acceptable simply because it is common in everyday conversation.
4. What is tale-carrying?
Tale-carrying, known in Arabic as Nameemah (النميمة), means carrying words, stories or statements from one person to another in a way that causes conflict, resentment or division.
It can involve repeating private conversations, passing on hurtful comments, exaggerating what someone has said, revealing confidential information or selectively relaying statements in a way that creates suspicion and hostility between people.
Tale-carrying can occur between friends, family members, colleagues, committee members and community organisations. It can damage trust, create unnecessary disputes and divide people who should be working together.
A person may claim that they are merely repeating what someone else said. However, passing on harmful words without a legitimate reason can make that person a participant in spreading the harm.
The Prophet Mohammed ﷺ strongly warned against tale-carrying. In an authentic hadith, he described the nammaam—a person who carries tales—as someone subject to a serious warning concerning entry into Paradise. This is a reminder of the gravity of this behaviour. (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)
5. The difference between these behaviours
Although backbiting, slander, gossip and tale-carrying can overlap, their main distinctions are:
• Backbiting: Speaking negatively about someone behind their back, even when the information is true.
• Slander: Making false statements or accusations about someone.
• Gossip: Discussing other people's personal affairs, often unnecessarily and without a legitimate purpose.
• Tale-carrying: Passing words or information between people in a way that creates or worsens conflict and division.
A single conversation may involve more than one of these behaviours. For example, a person might invent a false accusation, discuss it with others and then pass it on to the person being accused, causing serious harm.
6. Social media makes the harm even greater
Today, gossip, backbiting, slander and tale-carrying can spread rapidly through Facebook, WhatsApp, group chats and other online platforms.
A person may share a post, forward a private message, publish an accusation or repeat a rumour without considering the consequences.
Once information is shared online, it can reach thousands of people, be copied repeatedly and remain accessible long after the original dispute has ended.
Before posting, commenting on or forwarding something about another person, we should pause and ask ourselves:
• Is this information true and properly verified?
• Is it necessary and fair to share it?
• Could it unnecessarily harm someone's reputation or family?
• Am I helping to resolve a problem, or making it worse?
• Would I be comfortable if the same thing were said about me?
Freedom to express an opinion does not remove our moral responsibility to speak truthfully, fairly and respectfully.
7. Islam encourages protecting people's honour
The Prophet Mohammed ﷺ said:
“The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)
This teaching reminds us that our conduct should protect others from harm, whether that harm comes through our actions or our words.
Islam does not prohibit every discussion about another person's conduct. There are legitimate circumstances in which someone may need to report wrongdoing, seek advice, protect another person from harm or pursue justice. However, such discussions should be truthful, necessary, proportionate and directed to an appropriate person or authority.
Reporting a genuine concern through proper channels is different from spreading rumours, humiliating someone publicly or repeating allegations to people who have no legitimate need to know.
Our intention, the accuracy of our words and the manner in which we communicate all matter.
8. How can we protect ourselves and our community?
We can all help prevent these harmful behaviours by adopting a few simple principles:
1. Think before speaking. Ask whether your words are truthful, necessary and beneficial.
2. Do not spread rumours. If information cannot be verified, do not repeat it as fact.
3. Avoid carrying tales. Do not pass on private conversations or hurtful comments simply because you have heard them.
4. Resolve disagreements directly and respectfully. Where appropriate and safe, encourage people to address misunderstandings with one another rather than involving unnecessary third parties.
5. Protect confidentiality. Respect private information entrusted to you.
6. Refuse to participate in harmful conversations. Change the subject, discourage the discussion or politely explain that you do not wish to speak negatively about someone who is absent.
7. Correct mistakes. If you have spread false information, take responsibility, correct the record and apologise where appropriate.
8. Examine your intentions. Ask whether you genuinely want to resolve a problem or whether you are contributing to resentment and division.
The Qur'an instructs believers:
“O you who believe, be mindful of Allah and speak words of appropriate justice.” (Qur'an 33:70)
Our words should reflect honesty, wisdom, fairness and respect.
9. A call for reflection and unity
No person is free from mistakes. We all have weaknesses, and we all deserve to be treated with fairness and dignity. Before discussing another person's faults, we should reflect on our own conduct and remember that we, too, would not want our private matters exposed or our reputations damaged.
If we have engaged in backbiting, slander, gossip or tale-carrying, we should sincerely repent to Allah, stop the behaviour and make a genuine effort to repair the harm caused.
Our families, mosques, schools, workplaces and community organisations become stronger when people trust one another, communicate responsibly and resolve differences with wisdom.
Let us be people who bring others together rather than drive them apart. Let us protect one another's honour, refuse to spread harmful rumours and use our words to encourage understanding, reconciliation and unity.
Our words are a responsibility. Let us use them to build people up, not tear them down; to resolve differences, not deepen them; and to unite our communities, not divide them.